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| ONE DEFINITION OF SUBMISSION June 11, 2005 Right click here and choose "save target as" to download and listen to the audio version of this entry. If you were to survey 100 people in the D/s or BDSM worlds and ask them to define submission, you'd likely get 100 different answers. To be sure, there would be similarities, but it's still individualized.... much like people's definition of love. It's important to remember there are many factors that play into the formation of one's definition and there are several different levels of submission. You must pick what is right for you. I was talking to someone a few days ago who said he really didn't consider himself to be submissive. During the course of the conversation, I mentioned how much I enjoyed someone kneeling for me. It literally takes my breath away. His comment, to me, defines submission. He said, "Even though that isn't something that does anything for me, if it was something you wanted, I'd gladly do it to please you." In my mind - that's surrender or submission. He would surrender what he wanted and would do what I wanted - all because it was something that pleased me. Submitting or surrendering control of yourself to someone else means they make the choices for an agreed upon time. It's no longer about what the submissive "gets" out of it. It's about pleasing the Dominant. Now before someone has a heart attack listening to my personal definition (smiles), I also think that such an extraordinary gift means the Dominant is accepting the responsibility of meeting the submissive's needs and respecting his/her limits. Not necessarily meeting all of his/her wants (that's up to the Dominant), but definitely to meet his/her needs. You see... I view Dominance and submission as a symbiotic relationship based on mutual trust. If it's done right - it's win/win. Both are healthy, happy, and complete. |
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