*Published with author's permission. Name withheld at author's request.
I kneel naked in front of the red candle on my bedside table as I had done so many times before. As the candle glows to life, I contemplate what had brought me to this state. I am strong and independent, yet I am kneeling, waiting for her late night call. My breath deepens. She will call so soon. Less than six months, she had bound me under her spell.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Six months ago, it was a cold night in January. Free time and boredom often beget trouble. I went online just to see what was out there. I had chatted a few times, but not as much as a hobby as an occasional distraction when books, writing and movies failed. Once in a while, I would run across someone interesting in one of the chat rooms. I could argue politics, metaphysics or literature with any number of people. Tonight, I wanted to try something different. Maybe that is the beauty of the internet, the anonymity of being able to do something you would never be able to.
I searched the various open chat rooms available; most of them left me cold. Then I saw it, Hypnodommes for Submissive Men. I was a bit intrigued. I knew a bit about BDSM, but this was new to me. I wasn't sure what I was getting into, but if it turned out to be a bust, I could move on to a new room. After all, no one bothers a lurker.
Within a minute of logging on, I got a message directed to me, "Good Evening, Knight..." from someone with the ID of Lady Julia_43.
Okay, this was something I was not expecting. "Evening, Lady J, hope all is well," I typed nonchalantly.
"Quite well, you are new to this, aren't you?"
"Yes, I was just intrigued by the room name."
"Hmm," she replied, "I bet you are a writer."
"How did you know that???!!!" I typed frantically. After all, I had typed only a couple of lines.
"Didn't you know I am psychic?" This enigmatic Lady Julia replied.
"No, I didn't realize," I stumbled across my keyboard, completely dumbfounded.
"That and I read your profile..."
Outgoing and clever, I was definitely intrigued. She moved on to greet more newcomers. I chatted with others and learned more about this style of play. All the while, I watched this Lady move through the chat stream with the grace of a cat. I was amazed how easily she got people to talk. Charming did not do justice for what this woman could do. Everyone she talked to seemed drawn to her. I read where a couple of men had typed, "kneeling naked to serve the Lady" before their replies. I thought that was a bit extreme and obviously insincere, but it takes all types.
My curiosity got the better of me. It was time to turn the tables. I clicked on the Dear Lady's ID to see what secrets were to be revealed to me. I found myself staring into a set of beautiful half-closed eyes. I clicked on the audio greeting and listened to her silvery laugh and, "I caught you peeking." I had to smile; this Lady covered all of the bases.
Before I went offline for the night, I needed to talk to her one more time.
"I returned the favor and looked at your Profile, Lady J; BTW, you have a pretty voice."
"Thank you," she replied, "Did you download any of my MP3s?"
"No," I replied, "I did not see them on your profile."
"Well, here is the link," she typed, "You should check them out."
"Okay, I will thanks...and good night."
It was late and I had to go to work the next day. Yet, I wanted to see what this woman was all about. It's funny how the most insignificant things can change your life. Clicking on that link changed my life.
Her site was beautiful. She had put much time and thought into what she was doing. I leafed through the various options. I looked at her pictures of things she liked and her philosophy about dominance through hypnosis. Not only clever, she was smart. I read some of her fan essays and stories. I wasn't sure if these were actual episodes or just wishful thinking on the writers' part. I was amazed on how much charisma this woman exuded. I came to the download page of the website. I hesitated for a moment, but I was far too intrigued to stop now. There was one title that stuck out, Red Silk. For some reason, I was drawn to this one.
I downloaded her MP3, Red Silk and burned a CD. It was far too late to play with this tonight. So I went to bed.
I was distracted the entire day at work. I did not know what to expect I got home and took care of some household matters. I took the CD back to my darkened bedroom and lay down on the bed. Her sensuous quiet whisper coaxed me to relax. That lovely voice lured me deeper and deeper into that warm darkness I could see the shiny red silk scarf hovering above me. All the while, she teased me with the idea of how good it would feel to submit. I awoke aroused and a bit shaken on how powerful the effect was on me. I also wanted more.
I wanted to make this more intense for me. Over the years, I had worked with mediation through martial arts and creative visualization. In a moment of inspiration, I know what I needed to do. I needed a ritual.
That night, I rushed home from work. I changed into my sweats and pushed my nightly run the hardest I had in years. The endorphin rush kicked in hard, as I staggered into the bathroom and peeled off my sweat suit. The long hot shower eased some of my aches. Damp and shaking from exertion and anticipation, I lit two candles and eased down onto my bed. I fell under her spell immediately. She owned me. I moaned at her command and writhed under her imaginary red scarf. I was lost under her gentle ministrations. To this day, I wonder if I heard her laugh when she said, "your mind accepts the truth, you love to submit."
The next day I was troubled. I was a walking paradox. Here I was law unto myself and answerable to no one, and yet, I was turned on by the idea of submitting to this woman. I felt like I was going crazy. I wanted more, but I remembered all of those other men throwing themselves at her feet. I am a proud man; I do not grovel. I wanted to walk away from all of this, yet something inside me kept me from doing this. I kept hearing that beautiful sexy voice telling me, "your mind accepts the truth, you love to submit". I was torn because I did not want to be one of those men who beg, yet this enchanting woman whom I hardly knew made me want to beg. I decided that I would be polite and walk away Naturally, I do what I always do when I am under stress. I write.
Writing for me is a bit about exorcising demons. Some people go to Mass because confession is good for the soul. I write for catharsis. I started to write a very nice formal and distant thank you to this Lady Julia and praise her for her extraordinary hypnotic talents.
I got exactly five sentences out before I hit delete.
I racked my brain for what I wanted to say. I dug in deep and thought hard. I wrote an essay that explained the effect of her MP3 on me. I worked diligently to write what I felt without being pornographic. I did it in such a way that it did not seem like I was wanting more from her (yet, I so badly did). She put all of her thought and passion into her work, could I do any less? In the end, this would be my thank you, the best writing I had ever done.
I sent it off to her and promptly began to kick myself. The best I hoped for was a nice, polite thank you and that would be the end of it. The worst I expected were emails telling me to seek immediate psychiatric help and to stay the hell away from her.
The next morning, before work, I checked my email. I knew it was way to soon to get a reply from her. I went through the work day half-anticipating and half-dreading that reply. Finally, I made it home, took a deep breath and opened up my email from Lady Julia:
"I must chat with you or talk with you about this. When can we meet on yahoo or talk on the phone?"
Needless to say, I was completely stunned. I immediately tracked her down in the chat room. She really liked my writing and wanted to post it on her website. I felt honored. We talked for a couple of hours online, which is a bit like 3 incarnations in real life. Not only was she smart and charming, but she was incredibly well-read. It was like getting a back stage pass to the greatest rock show of all time. I was seeing behind her persona of Lady Julia and seeing the true Lady. I was so attracted to this sweet, compassionate woman with a sharp sense of humor. Something clicked inside of me. I wanted to enjoy the company of this woman for she also brought out the best in me. Lady Julia summed it up the best much later, I really like the man I am when I am with her.
These online meetings went on for a couple of weeks. I felt like I was walking a tightrope. I tried my best not to let on how much I wanted her, but I know I slipped a couple of times. I did not want to become one of those "weakling subs" who would fall down and roll over for whatever domme came along. In fact, I came out and told her I was pretty much an alpha male. We were friends first.
During this time, we did discuss the whole Domme and Submissive relationship. She revealed that she liked the idea of being a Lady and having a strong knight swear absolute fealty to her. This appealed to me. I guess I have read too many books where the guy in the white hat does whatever it takes to take care of his woman. Whether it was climbing the highest mountain, besting the Black Knight or fending off the Indians from her homestead. It just seemed so natural.
What I did not tell her was that I was listening to her Red Silk MP3 regularly. I could imagine myself kneeling in front of my Lady Julia to swear my oath of loyalty to honor, protect and serve her as she saw fit.
That all changed one weekend in February. The ice storm had grounded me. I was stuck at home for the weekend and going stir crazy. I chatted with Lady Julia until late, listening to the ice crackle in the background. I had tried so hard not to crowd her or act like a puppy dog desperate for attention. It was then that another moment hit us.
"Can we talk on the phone for awhile?" she typed.
"Yes!" I replied as quickly as I could type and signed off immediately.
My pulse quickened as I waited for the phone to ring. It was only five minutes but it may as well have been five hours.
"Hello?" she said. It was her voice, that sweet soft whisper I had been listening to for so long, but it wasn't her. It was filled with nervous vunerability.
We talked for two hours about general things. Life, experiences. It was a minuet drawing us closer and closer. As time passed, the double entendres flew back and forth more frequently. One moment she would gasp in excitement over one of my comments. The next moment my breathing got heavier at one of hers. Back and forth, the power exchange shifted until:
"You know," she said with a smirk in her voice, "I am not used to sharing power or being knocked off my feet."
"So how do you recommend we rectify this situation?" I replied being a bit of a smartass.
&"I could hypnotize you..." she offered.
"Okay," I replied. I was trying so hard to play it cool. I was already so aroused by the idea.
I slipped under for her so easily into that warm comforting darkness. She teased me by visualizing my arousal being linked to her heartbeat. She would increase the speed of her heartbeat and I would get more excited. In minutes, I was squirming on the bed, pleading, "Oh God, Julia make me yours". I came so hard, I lay on my bed like a limp dishrag.
Between her gasps, she managed to chuckle, "did baby like that?"
"Oh yes, Julia," I whispered.
"Would you like to do that again for me?" she inquired sexy sweet.
"Yes." I managed to breathe.
"Such a good boy," she replied, "only I want you to do something for me."
"Anything!" I said urgently.
"Tomorrow night," she continued, her voice dripping with anticipation, "I want you naked and kneeling by your bedside, waiting for me to call, My Knight."
The next night I was ready for her. I waited, sweating in the cool darkness in front of the red candle. Erect and ready to serve my lady. The clock ticked down to 10PM and still no call. 10:15, then at 10:30 the phone rang"
"Hi Dear, sorry to keep you waiting," she said casually, "I had to take care of some things, here."
"That's all right, My Lady," I replied, "I would wait an eternity for you, as you asked."
There was dead silence on her end. Then a gasp of surprise, "You mean you did it? For me?"
"Yes, Julia, I did what you asked of me." I said. I hesitated for a moment, "because, I want to be yours."
Another small gasp issued from the phone. She quickly regained her composure. I imagine a sensuous wicked smile crossed her face. "My, my, my, dear knight, I see my little MP3 has done its work. I knew if I got you to listen to it, you would be mine..."
* * * * * * * * * * *
And tonight, I wait in front of the red candle like I have done before, waiting for my lovely Mistress and Muse, Lady Julia.
Questions or comments regarding this site should be sent to the Web Mistress
Page Updated 10/26/07
Meet Lady Julia
The Circle of Dreams
Contact Info & Guestbook
Dominance and Submission
Fiction & Poetry
Erotic Stories and Poetry
Additions & Updates