Images of Sexiness

I was reading an article earlier about a now 18 year old absolutely gorgeous model who was told a few years ago that she was too obese to model. Gerren Taylor was then 6' tall and a size 4. That number may not mean much to male readers but surely female readers are sputtering to themselves and saying, "what??? that's crazy!"

It is crazy. We've become a society that is obsessed with perfection. Those who can't measure up to magazine and Hollywood standards often feel unattractive even though that opinion could not be farther from the truth. In his new documentary, "America the Beautiful", Darryl Roberts follows Gerren's career and the country's obession with physical beauty. As part of his research for the film, Roberts interviewed 150 women, asking each if they considered themselves attractive. Two responded "yes". TWO. Isn't that a sad commentary on our society and it's distorted point of view?

As I was thinking about all this, my mind wandered to the types of pictures I post on my blog. Usually they're the perfect people. Perfect butts to be sure :) Since I have a largely male readership I wondered, do you see photos here and simply appreciate the beauty or do they leave you feeling unattractive? Do you compare your wife/girlfriend to these photos and find them lacking? I certainly don't want to perpetuate distorted thinking.

I see images like this and I appreciate the beauty. And.. I admit, I realize that I don't look like these women :) I'm 46 and decidedly not even a size 4. However, I tend not to compare myself to models and starlets. I try not to compare myself at all, but if I do, I tend to observe the real people around me - the ones who actually eat and who aren't all silicone, botox, and caps. When I do that, I realize I'm average - something with which I am definitely ok. As for my fella - well he doesn't look like the fella in the photo above, but I think he's gorgeous.

I do remember feeling somewhat inadequate with regard to my physical appearance when I was in my twenties and even early thirties. When I reached my 40s, I hit my stride. I'm not vain by a long shot, but I like myself well enough. I wonder, does this sort of comfort and acceptance come with maturity? As we mature are we less susceptible to media influences or just more aware of their power?

Mostly a mish-mash of thoughts, I know. Apologies if you are lost and still looking for the point :)

Zaftig and Sexy

This past week I've been observing a discussion in TCOD about the appeal (or perhaps the lack thereof) of women who are overweight. Are heavier women sexy or aren't they? Although the gentleman who posed the issue was fairly consistent in his assertions that most men find women who aren't thin to be unappealing, several other group members disagreed.

As a woman who is by health industry standards a bit zaftig (doesn't that sound much better than plump?), I have heard many such discussions. Of course everyone has preferences in the physical traits that initially spark interest. To deny this would of course be silly. Many men especially seem to be very visual creatures. A large number seem to be attracted to thin women, others to women with large breasts, while others prefer small perky breasts, beautiful eyes, or a nice behind. And, yes, some are attracted to plus size ladies. Usually after that initial interest people move on to look at the entire person, their personality, their intellect, and the other less visible attributes. Some, however, can't get past that initial physical barrier and that's ok. Again, everyone has their preferences.

Sometimes I'm asked if it bothers me that "most" men seem to prefer thin women. I'm not sure of that "most" label, especially within my age group of men, but I would have to say it bothers me not at all. What I think matters most is how I feel about myself. I like me. I'm not arrogant. I don't think I'm better than anyone else or more attractive than anyone else, but I like not just
my mind, my personality, my laugh, and my voice - I like my body and I feel good being who I am. I'm comfortable wearing most anything from professional attire to some extraordinarily sexy lingerie. And I'm just as comfortable taking it off. I'm comfortable with letting him
watch as I touch my body... touching in all the places he wants to touch. I am confident in my ability to seduce him whenever and wherever I want. I am confident he wants me - and wants me badly. I am confident I can take him to a place where he is on the brink - begging.. begging desperately.. and I know I can take him past that point to a place where he cannot think.. he can only feel pleasure. I am comfortable with sex and love all that goes along with it.

I'm aware I repeated the words comfortable and confident a number of times, but I think *that's* the key to being attractive to others. Not how much I do or don't weigh. Not how tall or short I am. Not how large my breasts may be. I am not only comfortable with myself and my sexuality but I'm confident in my ability as a lover and a Domme. I think I'm sexy, therefore I am. Perhaps not to everyone, but that's ok. I know I am to him. How much more can anyone ask?

You may be wondering, is she writing this to stroke her ego? Smiles - not at all. I wanted to address it because I think it's an issue that effects many women and it's one of the things that may prevent them from feeling comfortable with taking that first step toward dominating their partner. Fellas.. if your lady is hesitant, ask yourself, are you showing her how sexy she is? My fella tells me often that I'm the sexiest woman he's ever known. I can't tell you how amazing that feels. Encourage your lady... help her see that there's no one else in the world who is sexier than she is to you. Sexy ladies, after all, are more inclined to do all those sexy things you so desire... ;)