Softly Softly Catchee Monkey

I'm guessing you suspected I wouldn't be writing today, didn't you? I honestly thought that perhaps I might not even though I've been doing pretty well with my resolve to write every day. Bill had chemo today and as you can imagine that's a rough day for him and for me. He's been quietly resting for a couple of hours now and because of this I was able to speak with Rook for awhile and also find a moment to jot down a few thoughts here for you.

Rook's a really good man. He's not just my submissive and lover, he's my friend. He knows how difficult things have been so he's been a bit more of a rascal lately (teasing and laughing, telling me tall tales to see how gullible I really am, etc). It's just something we do to relieve some of the stress - especially when we don't have the time or energy for the more physical forms of stress relief ;) In the midst of all this teasing I laughingly informed him that he was becoming just a bit too bratty and if he wasn't careful, the next time he is with me, I will have a long list of infractions and he'll be spanked - a lick for each infraction. (The mere mention of the word "lick" took my rascal off on a tangent of just where he'd like to lick ;) After a few very warm and arousing moments I steered the conversation back to spankings. I thought it time I assess how we each felt about adding that sort of activity to our play.

I've never been a believer in spanking a submissive as a form of discipline. He's a grown man and if he's "into" spanking doing so would only reinforce negative behaviors. If he's not into it, he's a grown man and some form of verbal intervention should be most effective. Usually I just tell him when I'm upset or displeased, we talk it out, and things change. Pretty simple. (This is only my opinion and I only consider it valid for myself and my partner - no judgments are being cast on others.)

Spanking for pleasure on the other hand is something that has definitely interested me in the past, but with Rook it's never really been a part of our D/s interactions. He's always been more than willing to accept it, but he's admittedly honestly that it doesn't do a thing for him. Well.. for me, that just makes it no fun at all. Controlling his mind and his pleasure is what excites me most.

When I was teasing him earlier about accruing licks on his "reasons I'm getting spanked" list, I remarked that I thought he was deliberately trying to get "into trouble" to add to his "punishment". Something in his voice changed a bit. If I didn't know him so well, I would have missed it. To my surprise, there's a bit of an interest there in playful paddling, enough so that he was a bit excited talking about it (and he certainly wasn't the only one).

All this made me think about our relationship - where we are now compared to where we when we first came together. Things I never thought I'd like - I love. He's the same way. (I know you've heard all that before but it seemed to really strike home hard tonight.) I think that it's a good sign that we're growing together as a couple. There's probably also some wisdom in there for anyone who might be attempting to get their partner to be a bit more interested in FemDom related things. Give her time. Don't push her. If you're patient, she may evolve slowly like I did and in turn, you may as well. A "no" today may not mean "no" forever. Softly, softly catchee monkey ;)

Smiles. You'll forgive me if this is a bit rambley, won't you? I'm very tired and sleepy, but I wanted to write this down while it was on my mind.