Bondage Makes Men Happier

Well I know it does any men that I am with ;) Now surveys are indicating others feel the same. According to a survey conducted by Sydney based World Association of Sexual Health, men who are "into BDSM" are psychologically healthier. From a Foxs News article:

... men into BDSM scored significantly better on a scale of psychological wellbeing than other men.

“This seems to imply that these men are actually happier as a result of their behaviour, though we're not sure why,” she (Dr Richter) said.

Perhaps the people who are "into BDSM" feel more communicating about their sexual needs? And perhaps this increased level of communication leads a better sex life? I am not one to purport that vanilla sex isn't yummy because it certainly is. Sex is yummy period. Vanilla relationships are not inferior to D/s relationships - they're just different. That said, I think perhaps the nature of the D/s relationship calls for a level of communication that may not be as easily found in many vanilla relationships.

At any rate, isn't it great to know that you're probably psychologically healthier than a lot of other people out there? (98 percent of other people to be exact - if you believe the survey results are valid.)

The new sex study has revealed that 2 percent of Australian men and 1.4 percent of women admit to enjoying dominance, submission and sadomasochism-type sex in the past year.

Well perhaps not quite that small of a percentage.

“There will definitely be more men and women who have sexual tastes in this direction but won't call it this,” said Dr. Juliet Richters, of the University of New South Wales.

It seems people just don't like the label. They're not willing to admit they like "BDSM", but they get off on a little bondage and spanking. Just don't label it kink and they're ok.

Whatever the percent, I am sure that number is growing. More and more people are developing an open mind and allowing a healthy sexual curiosity to creep in and take control for just a little while. As they do, they're finding what we already knew.

Kink is good. Yum.

Evil Cowgirl Update

For the curious... yesterday I did see the Evil Cowgirl couple I mentioned a month or so back. During their visit the kids (theirs and my niece and nephews) were having a delightfully rowdy time. As I watched them playing I casually mentioned that they were a bunch of rowdy Evil Cowgirls and Indians. K's wife laughed, looked at him out of the corner of her eye, and kicked him slightly on ankle. Later when we were alone in the kitchen for a couple of minutes I teased her about it. She laughed and said, "K said you wouldn't let today pass without mentioning that." I just laughed and let it go.

Earlier this evening the phone rang and it was K. After a bit of small talk he mentioned the Evil Cowgirl and asked if he could talk openly with me about it. I think he was afraid he'd embarrass or offend me (smiles - if he only knew how easily I talk about such things). Haltingly he began to share about how much of an impact that childhood game had made upon him and his sexuality. After a few false starts in his attempt to explain, he asked, "Do you have any idea what it means when a man says he is submissive?"

I'm exaggerate only slightly when I say that I thought I would pass out from my attempt to keep from laughing. Certainly I didn't want to do anything to make him think I was laughing at him. I replied that I had some understanding but encouraged him to tell me what it meant to him.

A deluge of words followed. Apparently he had never talked about his feelings with anyone other than his wife and he was dying to tell someone he thought might not judge him. We spoke for a very long time and I shared a little in order to assure him I did understand but mostly I let this be his time. After all, I can speak of these things pretty much whenever I wish save during those times I am with my family. As the conversation drew to an end he asked if he and his wife could call me another time or if perhaps we could get together the next time Rook was here and talk more. I agreed and we made tentative plans.

I'm looking forward to hearing more from these two. It's nice to know someone close to home that I can talk to about such things. K's wife is the first Domme that I've met in my home town. Well... the first one I've known about anyway. People here are so private that it isn't something one easily walks into a room and shares.

I won't divulge everything about our chat, but I did want to remark about one aspect of it. He asked me if I thought that our childhood games had effected me in the same way that it seems to have impacted upon him. I honestly don't think it did. I was assertive (ok, bossy) pretty much from the time I was a toddler and my increasing number of kinks are almost completely tied up in my desire for control. It's interesting to see how differently we reacted since Evil Cowgirl thoughts have followed him through puberty and on into adulthood. He's very, very turned on to bondage and not being allowed release until he has pleased his captor but has no other signifcant kinks.

This seems to be a pattern for many men that I've known - some specific interaction that effects them strongly and to which they attribute the beginning of their kinks. I can't help wondering if this is the case for most men and is it the same for most women? Certainly some psychological theories infer it is.

Was it for you?