Orgasm Control Part Two: Tease and Denial

(Continued from yesterday - more thoughts from Pete Mitchell.)

Email #2 Prologue: The following day… notice that my thoughts are less about the physical aspect of the Experience, and more about the mental component. I’m asking more questions… I think the realization that there is more to this than “I get aroused when I listen to her mp3’s” is setting in.


Email #2

Today… I read a story or two on the Erotic Mind Control Archives website, which proved to be a mistake the minute I remembered there would be no masturbation in the near future. Shortly thereafter, my phone rings, I see “Private,” get a twinge in my shorts, but had to wait about ½ hour to check the voicemail.

So by the time I checked it, the anticipation coupled with the arousal generated by the call itself (since I knew it was you), and the stories I’d read… well, I was all shades of tingly all over. I dialed, it rang, and with each ring my heart sank a little… please pick up. But it wasn’t to be…. And that’s fine. I’m not the one making the rules here. I could picture you sitting by the phone, seeing it was me, grinning…. And letting it ring. I consoled myself with that picture, of you, pleased and gently smiling, knowing my need, and showing me I was capable of handling it, just for you.

I wrote yesterday that I felt more intensity to the masturbation sessions because I was told I should do it, as opposed to not doing it. In comparison, today has been tough. As mentioned, I’m all wound up and ready to go, but I won’t. Now, is that increased need just the result of the previously mentioned “stimuli”… or is it because I can’t, and I’m more aware and thinking about it constantly? I’m not sure. Maybe that’s one of your “secrets”… keep a man busy asking questions of himself, and he will not question his Lady? Hmmm…

So once again I find myself, figuratively, sitting at your feet, quite enamored by your soft presence in my mind. I should tell you any pretense of resistance has long since disappeared. I felt myself relaxing just listening to your voicemail a couple times … and welcomed its effect on me. As I type, I feel myself getting hard again, knowing full well that release will not come for some time.

Another question, then… am “I” controlling anything? Am I a stronger person, or weak because I bend so easily to your will, putting aside my own need to release, which trust me, wouldn’t take long to accomplish right now.

I think I can answer that one, I guess I’m trying to respond to your request to explain how I feel during this “experience”, I hope this is okay.

I feel a sense of strength that comes from knowing I can control my body against one of its more primal urges, if it is your will for me to do so. Could I do so without your “influence?” I don’t know, but I don’t think that’s the point. Your guidance shows me that I can do something, and do it quite easily, something that I’m not sure I could, or would, do on my own. You know, like walking around a social event with a symbol of my submissiveness tied around my cock. Or, as in the case at hand, keep my hardness tucked away in my shorts until I have permission (I got a shiver throughout my body just typing that word) to release.

In short, it seems that I am quite content and, in fact, desire to give you the power in the relationship, in exchange what I see as benefits. Would everyone see that as a benefit, or a fair trade-off? I doubt it… is that willingness the essence of being submissive?

Am I thinking too much here?



Email #3 Prologue: Okay…today, you caught me off guard with a post on the message board that totally captured my imagination. It appears, however, that that was enough blood remaining in my cranium to form a few thoughts and questions. I really spent a lot of time thinking about the “duality” issue another person in the forum mentioned regarding control... I didn’t feel I was experiencing the same thing and I actually spent a good deal of time trying to decide if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. Notice too, that this email is completely about you, your post entry and the Experience… nothing about me, my day, etc.


Email #3

In one of your posts on the message board, you wrote:



"when next I touch myself, I will think about how exciting it is think of you being so obedient.. so denied.. all because of my temporary but very strong control over you. Yum :) "



I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful, ma'am... but... Do you have ANY idea the shot of adreneline that went through my chest, and how fast I went from flaccid to hard as a rock when I read that?!?! I imagine you probably just typed that sentence without thinking too much about it, but I will be curious to see if anyone else responds with a similar reaction, and quite surprised if they don't. In the time it's taken me to copy that sentence, open an email and paste it in, and type these comments, I've got a pretty significant wet spot on my shorts (this is not a bladder control issue, just sayin'..).

Wow. I imagine my reaction was "amplified" somewhat by the "Experience" and denial I'm going through right now... but still... wow.

In another post, you pondered whether others felt the same regarding the "duality" of the situation. No disrespect the the poster, I understand what he's describing and in fact I think he said it very well... but I'm really not feeling the sense of duality/contradiction.

For me, this has been a very "I want to obey, "I want to serve" without any hint of "I don't want to..." attached to any of it. Again, I'm not passing any judgment on how anybody feels... just relaying my own. It does make me wonder if there is a difference in reaction dependent on how long someone has listened to your mp3's. For someone like me, who has enjoyed opening my submissive side to your wonderful voice and charms for several years, perhaps one would not expect any of the "I do/I don't" duality, because I simply accept your words without hesitation.

Whether that's an effect of the "length of training", or a matter of trust built over time, or a combination of both... well, I guess that's another question, too.

While they are interesting questions to ponder, I am happy that, for whatever reason, I readily accept your control and the idea that you would think of that while touching yourself is one of the most erotic thoughts that has ever flared through my mind and body.


Email #4 Prologue: This email is at the end of the Experience, and you asked for our thoughts. I think it speaks for itself. I would only add that your graciousness and generosity in sharing yourself and your time are true gifts, and could only come from a woman for whom any man should be proud to bow before.


Email #4

Continuing to follow your instructions, I came home at the end of the day and got the Surrender mp3 fired up. First of course, I got undressed, tied the ribbon back on, and knelt by the bed, back straight, arms at the side, head bowed, just like you've instructed. I kind of let my mind wander as to what, if anything, I've learned about myself with this "experience."

The phrase "good boy" kept coming into my thoughts, I suppose because my mind associates that phrase with me being on my knees? Maybe. I seem to have more questions than answers for you. I thought about how much I enjoy opening myself to you in this submissive way, and why, and all I could think of was "because you enjoy it." It wasn't about me, or what it does to me erotically… it was about you and your happiness. I suppose that goes a long way toward defining a submissive's mindset, so it has seemed to clarify my submissive nature, at least as it relates to you. As I've said before, I think it would be fair to say that few people in my personal or professional life would use the term "submissive" to describe me.

I had one other thought about this experience… not that I really had any doubt, but it has definitely shown me that the dominant role you play in my mind isn't just a little fantasy I've allowed to take place in my mind because it excites me sexually. I've listened to the mp3's repeatedly, and love the resulting feelings, and well, bodily responses. But this is something new… and I did wonder if I would respond to email directives and an entirely different set of instructions.

I get an adrenaline rush just thinking about it now… the reality of your control, when you want it, over my mind and body. When I settled into "Surrender" tonight, I could feel the depth of it immediately. Your words hit my brain and it simply knows: obedience to her. I laid there, limp body, rock hard cock, throbbing, pre-cum dripping down onto my abdomen… and while I was highly aroused, aware of the urgent need for release, it never entered my thoughts to touch myself and make it happen, and it wouldn't take more than a couple strokes. You would never know I did it… but again, it never crossed my mind.

I'm not trying to turn this into a sex story, and I know this is all happening in a fantasy world… but my obedience to you has been so "reinforced" by this type of thing… masturbating every day because you said so, not masturbating because you said so, not touching, kneeling naked in my bedroom, wearing a red ribbon, and so on… these have all shown me that my submissiveness is beyond a "willingness" to serve, and is to a "need" to serve. My desire to please you is actually greater than my desire to release, one of the most primal urges a man can have. And I find myself taking pride in saying that, hoping for nothing more than it brings a smile to your face.

As gracious and caring as you are, I imagine you may read that and feel some concern that my thoughts may impact other areas of my life, or prove to be a burden to you, which I would never, never want. So, I do want to assure you that none of what I have said changes who I think I am, who I am to my family, friends, my career, or anything else. It is all said through the framework of a very specific "window" in my life.

But among these things that make up my life, I have found this window, and it opens to a quiet, wonderful, trusting place in my mind and heart. When I choose to open that window, and you allow me to open that window, I do so with the desire to step through, quietly kneel before you, and obey you in whatever way may please you..

- Pete Mitchell

Orgasm Control Part One: Directed Masturbation

A few weeks ago in TCOD I conducted what I dubbed "The Orgasm Control Experience". I offered those interested the opportunity to have their orgasms controlled for a short period of time. Several stepped forward, some publicly, some privately, to express eagerness to participate.

Over the years I've observed how closely tied orgasm denial was to submissiveness for many men. Quite often if you tell a submissive man he may not release and tease him a bit, you'll have his complete attention. After a few days of denial, I've usually seen a sharp increase attentiveness and obedience. It's amazing what some men will happily do when in this state ;)

When I planned this experience I obviously always intended to include a period of denial, but I found myself wondering what would happen if I initially directed a period of daily masturbation. I don't remember reading or hearing much if anything on this topic, though I've used this privately on a number of occasions. Since it didn't seem that people commonly think of directed masturbation when orgasm control is mentioned (at least among those that I know), I wondered how it would be perceived by the participants. Would directed masturbation "feel like" control as intensely as denial? Would they recognize that the act itself didn't matter?

The initial reaction was interesting. Several wrote me privately asking if I really intended for them to masturbate at least once daily. Always in the past whenever I'd done anything with orgasm control, it had been denial. "Just do it", I replied. "It's all about your obedience, not what you do."

"But I don't think I'll feel controlled", was a common concern.

I had to smile every time I read their words. "Just wait - you'll see. Before you masturbate, spend a few moments thinking about my control. Remember you're masturbating for me - because I told you to and because you're so eager to submit to my request."

A couple of fellows spoke up offering a different perspective. "It's always been a fantasy to have a powerful woman tell me to masturbate for her." I quite liked that as I have a particular fondness for watching a man follow my commands to touch, tease, and release (smiles - or, depending on my mood, to stop when he is right on the edge.)

Either way, I was in control. I said when. I said if. Next time, I may say "where". (I can easily imagine how a few just felt their breath catch - you never know what I'll do to you, do you? ;)

Their surrender excited me a great deal, touching both the Domme and the teacher in me. I quite liked the thought of all those fellas scattered around the world masturbating when I said, not touching when I wouldn't permit it - whatever I decided to do. Some understood from the beginning while others comprehended more as a few days passed. By the third day, most were so eager that I'd often laugh aloud in delight just thinking about it.

One fellow remarked, "I like knowing I've done something that excites a woman like you. I now feel like the biggest stud in the world. ;-) I only started this experience yesterday but I can already strongly feel your control. It was a strange feeling to be told to masturbate by a woman because I have only had women tell me not to masturbate because they felt "cheated" sexually if I did."

Still another shared, "You know, I don't think ever in my life I've been told to masturbate before. Oh, did I ever feel your control! It has really had me quite focused on your control because that's where all the arousal was coming from." After being directed to do something special for a lady in his life - something he usually did not at all like to do - he added, "I experience emotional pleasure and arousal from obeying your directives. Granted that sexual instructions are likely to be highly charged, but it is the submission aspect that provides that special wonderful satiation. That must be why cleaning toilets was a pleasant and pleasurable task for me (who knew?)."

I know, you're probably thinking, "Tough job getting men excited about masturbation", but through comments like the one above I could see many of their attitudes changing. Pete Mitchell's email below offers some insight into how his particular attitude changed at the first part of this experience and is reflective of many of the comments I received.


As you’ve requested, I have been looking through the various emails I sent while participating in the “Orgasm Control Experience" you so generously created for us several weeks ago. While they were written separately on different days, reviewing them all together now, as more of a story line, has proven to be an interesting experience in and of itself.

But you already knew that when you requested this of me, didn’t you?

I hope that by organizing the separate “reports” this way, you and others will see what I’ve seen. That, as the Experience progresses, it becomes less of about me and a physical adventure focused on sexual gratification through hypnosis, and more about what I imagine you’ve seen it as all along: a demonstration of control, and a way for me to learn more about what is really taking place: the willing transfer of control from a submissive to a dominant woman.

With that backdrop, I humbly present my thoughts to you:

Email #1 Prologue: Although I have listened to your mp3’s for several years, this is my first participation in an “Experience.” I really didn’t expect a whole lot of difference from the mp3’s. I was wrong. The first indication I was in for something different was my response to the directive to masturbate daily, if possible. This was written several days into the Experience.

Email #1

My apologies for not “reporting in” earlier ma’am… it’s been a hectic week. But in the midst of it all, I knew I had to make some things to do today.

Most of it was things at work… got ‘em done.

Checking the group page before leaving the center… make sure I got my instructions right. A new post… no more masturbating. “Yes, ma’am” goes through my mind before I even form a conscious thought. Wow... she's good. I've found time for masturbation every day since she gave her instructions, and it somehow it felt even more intense knowing she'd told me to do it.

Still sweaty, standing at the counter in a Wal-Mart fabric section with a spool of ¼ inch red ribbon, waiting for the clerk to finish with two customers. All three eye me with a “what is he doing here” look. My mind dares them to ask what I’m doing. None of them do, and I find myself disappointed. I get my ribbon. And smile… obedience feels good… a mental laugh… ladies, your jaws would drop if you only knew…

Home now, changing clothes, gotta get dressed up for a social event. First things first… I tie my ribbon around my cock. I see myself in the mirror, in an act of submission… I wish she could see me, I tell myself she would smile, and I feel myself getting hard. Of course I am, somehow I know she would be pleased. I get dressed.

Walking around at the event. Another mental laugh… all these people around me, and none of them have a clue. They’re just doing what you’re supposed to do at a reception. I, on the other hand, am doing more. I wear a red ribbon for a Lady. Another smile.

Home in time to watch a football game.. First things first. I need to let this sweet, generous Lady know how much I felt her with me today. Today, I felt the strength and confidence a man needs to truly submit to a Lady. I thought I was already there, and now I know there is more. And it feels so good to know that. I can’t wait for what she asks of me next.

The sweet taste of submission, or perhaps more accurately, the sweet taste of confidence and strength needed to submit to a Lady, or maybe they're the same .... that's what I think I really tasted for the first time today.

- Pete Mitchell

To be continued...

A Taste of Female Dominance

For some time now I've had an interest in allowing a number of my friends to share in a taste of female dominance. Sometimes it's through "experiences" I lead in TCOD, sometimes it's private, personalized direction. It's important to me that I do nothing to encourage emotional dependence so either way, it's a temporary thing as friends, not within a relationship. Domination-lite, I suppose. Even though it's "lite", from what I hear it's a very intense thing for many of them and I know it is for me.

Both types of experiences seem to have been quite enjoyable and very educational not just for the fellas but for me. With each one I've garnered more insight into how these men think, what they want, what they need, and yes - what they can't resist. I've learned a great deal about myself in the same way. Most especially I've learned more about Lady Julia-style dominance. I term it that way because I'm not saying this is how it is or must be for anyone else, just that it's what works for me. It works *very well* for me ;)

I've decided to periodically share some of the emails and posts with you that I've received during these times, sometimes with my comments and sometimes as stand-alone posts. Don't worry - I wouldn't share anything without permission and I won't let any identifying information leak. When someone writes to me, their words are for me and me alone unless they say otherwise.

There are a couple of points of explanation necessary in order to assure their comments make sense.

During many of these activities, I instruct them to wear a red silk ribbon tied around their cocks to serve as a symbol of my control over their sexuality during that period of time. Lately I've been sending them out to buy new ribbon each time. They're instructed to approach female salespersons in the hopes the ladies will question why they are purchasing 12" of red satin ribbon. Ideally they will be able to experience a bit of pleasurable embarrassment when this happens :) If asked, they're to respond they were instructed to do so by a lady and can't say anything else.

On most days during the group experiences I ask them to listen to one of my hypnosis MP3 sessions, each chosen to encourage specific responses. During times I spend directing someone one-on-one, sometimes I utilize hypnosis, sometimes I don't. It's been interesting to see that there's very little difference one-on-one in their eagerness and obedience. The hypnosis is one tool that I can use to encourage these responses, but it isn't required. I can be pretty persuasive without utilizing hypnosis at all ;)

I'm sure I'll need to add other comments as I post their thoughts, but for the moment, I hope I've given you enough information to find yourself interested in hearing more :)

Femdom Fantasies

I wanted to tell you of a new website that I thought might be of interest to some of you.

FEMDOM FANTASIES is a collection of short stories featuring strong, dominant women and eager, submissive men. Allow your imagination to experience a variety of FEMDOM FANTASIES by wandering through the pages of this site.

The site is accepting story submissions for publication consideration. See the site for terms.

Maintaining Perspective

Yesterday I mentioned that I'd informed Rook that I didn't think we should exchange gifts for Valentine's Day. After a few moments yesterday morning of "oh I wish I hadn't said that" it wasn't a big deal - until last night.

I called and we talked for a few minutes and then I whispered, "Happy Valentine's Day". He responded with the expected words and then immediately launched into a spiel about how stressed he was because of work. For a just a few moments it was as if my emotions were at war. I wasn't sure whether to be angry, disappointed, or sad. I suppose I was a little of all three. Where was the romantic speak? The appreciation for the wonderful woman in his life? Damn it - it's Valentine's Day - do I have to tell him to be romantic???

As he continued to speak, all the things he was worried about - work, some personal issues, and so on - all just came pouring out. I listened and offered what support I could and as I did all my anger, disappointment, and sadness dissipated. He was so stressed that I could have cut the tension with a knife. When I recognized this I realized his need was far more important to me than some silly holiday. After all he shows me all the time that he loves me and thinks I'm the sexiest woman alive. I don't have to always be the center of attention, not even on the days that commercialism infers that I should be.

On some other blogs and in comments from members in my group I often read that some hold the idea that a submissive should not be worried about his needs, how he should only focus on his Mistress and should always put her needs first. While that may sound great to some as a fantasy, things are just not really like that. At least... in my opinion it shouldn't be that way if the two are in a loving relationship. Sometimes I have to put his needs first if his needs are weightier than mine.

Being in control is great, but it carries a lot of responsibility. I can't be so demanding and taking that I disregard what he needs emotionally and physically. He's mine, I love him, and his happiness is important to me. I don't see how we could have a healthy, happy relationship if I felt any other way.

Caged

(Story moved to Femdom Fantasies).