Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Thanks Pete Mitchell :)

Oh Yeah

And I'd like it right now ;)

Julia's Glorious Tushes

(Thanks to Arafin for the photo)

I was just over at Dee's website (if you haven't already, you really have to take a look - she's great) when one of her posts stirred a memory AND a momentary attack of panic.

For at least a year now, maybe two, I've been doing "Terrific Tush Tuesday" thanks to my good friend SuzyWearsThePants. I've collected dozens of tush pictures, both male and female, and they're all sitting in a nice folder on my desktop. I'm single so no one uses my computer except me and occasionally Bill, my boss. He reads my blog and knows all about my thing for men's tushes, so I figure - why worry about it? Why indeed?

A few days ago my computer had a couple of moments of making strange sounds ("chug a chug, grind, grind" for any technical people out there). I decided I should copy those tushes onto a disk so I wouldn't have to worry about them should my computer completely die.

Now - ask me where the disk is.

I realized a few moments ago that I had no idea.

I hurriedly went to look for it and it was no where to be found. I had it over the weekend, stuffed down in the side pocket of my handbag (I was planning on tucking it away in my suitcase at Mom's. Since I'm staying there for awhile, I am using her laptop instead of carrying mine back and forth from home. Storing tush pictures on *her* computer seemed like a bad idea). I've been so distracted lately that I just forgot all about it, never giving it another thought til I read Dee's post. After a frantic search I decided that the disk must either be in-between the front seats of my really, really, REALLY conservative sister-in-law's van or that it had fallen out on the ground by my mother's driveway. Either way - not a good thing.

It wouldn't be so bad if the disk wasn't labeled "Julia's Glorious Tushes".

I was almost certain I hadn't put it there, but for the heck of it I checked my carryall bag and found it stuffed down in side pocket with a note from my brother - "Found this and thought you'd want it back. Not a collection Mom or M. would care for but certainly something we will have to discuss sometime. ;) By the way, remember when Mom overheard you talking about the secret stash of Penthouses that T (our youngest brother) and I had??"

Brothers. Their memory never seems to fade. Hopefully their need for retribution does...

Oh - and my computer quit making that sound. Wouldn't you know it?

Curious Girls

Poetry In Motion and More

I was going through my emails tonight and found links to these. Thank you for the laughs BG :)

Desperate Housewives Part Deux

Susan, thought this might make you smile (maybe a couple of other people as well).

Funny Freaky Fetish Finds For Friday

Miss Bonnnie from CollarNCuffs has initiated "Funny, Freaky, Fetish, Finds For Friday". Bonnie, here's my contribution (thanks to Jay!). I know it only falls in the "Funny Find For Friday" category. I'll try to find something freakier for next week :)

Blame it on Charles Schultz

RooRoo from the FetishLore.com message board wrote:

"There are lots of theories out there that explain why we're into the things we're into. Some say we were abused as kids, or didn't get much attention, didn't have clear boundaries, or that we're simply emotionally disturbed, etc.

But I know the truth, the real underlying reason why we have these proclivities.



Peanuts.



Peppermint Patty wore birkenstocks, and was always hanging out with her "friend" Marcie. Peppermint Patty had a boyish voice and was a real tomboy. Marcie always called Peppermint Patty "Sir". It's obvious they were in a lesbian d/s relationship. Lucy? She became a domme. Linus was into adult baby play, even going so far as to carry around his blankie. We were exposed to this from a young age, and it planted a seed in our heads. So the next time you're tied down, gagged, and getting fucked by a woman with a strap-on, or straddling someone's face, cutting off their air while you get off, be sure to thank Charles Schultz."

I Interrupt This Blog for a Cuteness Break

I know this has nothing to do with kink or hypnosis but I don't care - it's just too cute. Thanks to gamma for sending this to add to my Feel Good Playlist. You know you're a very, very good boy, don't you? ;)

Latest Jib Jab Parody

What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

Sad and oh so true. (Made by the same guys who brought us "This Land" from the last US Presidential Election.)

Funny Commercials

Then I got drawn into YouTube and found a few more. This Budweiser commercial couldn't be imbedded so you'll have to visit the link.

It's amazing at how one's sense of humor gets warped at 3am.

Tom's Friend Jerry

Tom Allen shared this on FetishLore.com and I thought it funny (and cringe-worthy).

That reminds me of my friend Jerry. He went to the doctor suffering from severe headaches... After a thorough examination, the doctor turned to him and said "Jerry the good news is I can cure your head aches, the bad news is that it will require castration! You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, which in turn creates these serious headaches you've been experiencing. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Jerry was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to have the op.

When he eventually left hospital, he was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt not to have a headache for the first time in 20 years.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a fresh start & live a new life. Seeing a mens clothing store, he thought a new suit would be the perfect thing to mark this new beginning.

He entered the shop and told the salesman "I'd like a new suit please"

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said "Lets see...size 44 long?"

"Thats right, how did you know?" said Jerry laughing

"I've been in the business 60 years!" replied the tailor

Jerry tried on the suit, which fitted like a glove.

As he admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked "How about a new shirt as well?" He looked at Jerry again and said "34 sleeve and 16 1/2 neck?"

Once again Jerry was surprised..."Thats right, how did you know?"

"Like I said...60 years in the business!"

He tried on the new shirt, a perfect fit. As he adjusted the collar, the salesman asked "How about new shoes?"

Jerry was enjoying this experience, so thought, why not?

So the salesman eyed Jerry's feet..."Lets see...size 9 1/2 wide?"

Again Jerry was amazed "How did you know?"

"Well young fella, I've been in the business long enough to know these things!"

Jerry tried on the shoes and found they fitted perfectly. As he strolled around the shop the salesman asked "So that only leaves the new underwear...how about it?"

Jerry agreed, to carry on....a complete new me, he thought.

The salesman stepped back, eyed Jerry's waist & said "Let's see....size 36?"

"Ah ha! Wrong there, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old!"

The salesman shook his head, "There's no way I'm ever wrong, you can't wear a size 34"

"Oh yes I can" replied Jerry, "and have been most of my life!"

"I don't understand", said the tailor, "By my reckoning, a size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."


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If you haven't already, check out FetishLore.com. They're doing a nice job there and offering a great deal of interesting insight into D/s, fetish, and more.

One of Those Died and Gone to Heaven Jokes

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines.

One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women.

Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines.

The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

--

Thanks Jake for sharing this with me :)

Feel Good Playlist

Thanks to a suggestion from my friend gamma, I've decided to start a "feel good" playlist on YouTube - a collection of videos that cheer me up to watch. He sent this clip today and I thought it was amazing! I wonder how in the world they taught this dog to do this.





I've posted this next one before, but I wanted to share it again in case you decided to start your own feel good playlist. This one is never fails to crack me up.





I know I'm warped for thinking this next one is funny, but I do. It's from the show Scare Tactics a sort of Candid Camera type show where friends scare the bleep out of their friends.





One more from Scare Tactics.



I'm guessing that you've a list of YouTube funnies as well. Care to share?

Memory Lane

Earlier we were talking in my YahooGroup about the qualities a Dom/me should possess. I so agree with those who mentioned that a sense of humor is a must.

As you can imagine, things don't always go perfectly when you're doing kinky things. I remember once in a previous relationship we were staying in a hotel room and we'd forgotten to put the "do not disturb" sign on the door. Our first mistake. Then that morning after he'd gone across the hall to get some ice for my diet soda he failed to secure the privacy bolt when he came back in. The final (and biggest mistake) was deciding to stay another night. We called down to tell the front desk to charge another night to the credit card but apparently the housekeeping service didn't receive that info and thus thought the room was empty (I know you see where this is going).

We were having a grand time playing - he was tied to the bed with some silk scarves and was covered in chocolate syrup. I was straddling his legs licking chocolate syrup off his tummy working my way up to his chest when the door opened and the maid walked in. She looked at him, then me, winked, and walked back out.

We laughed for 10 minutes.

Then, we thought about what we COULD have been doing and laughed a little more ;)

A Little Chuckle

Thanks for sharing this with me, Art :)

Kids are smarter than you think...

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.

A few moments passed .. "An ambulance just drove by"

A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike....."

"A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are moving/"

"Jason is on his skate board...."

A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!!

Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."