Surprise

Image by Walter Girotto

"X Company, Rook speaking."

"Hi sweetheart, are you busy?"

"A little... why, what's up?"

Smiles. I can always tell when he's reacting to the things I'm saying and/or the tone in which I say them. His voice changes and he says so much just by his tone. This tone was a mixture of "Oh god I love it when she calls me and she's so obviously turned on" and "Please be merciful - my boss is sitting at the desk right next to mine."

"Nothing, I'm just lying here wearing absolutely nothing and touching myself."

"I see." I could hear him breathing a bit faster and his chair squeaked a bit as he shifted in his seat.

It was all I could do not to laugh in delight.

"Oh and baby.... the reason I'm so turned on.."

"Yes?" Clearing his throat now.

"I ordered those items we discussed last night."

"You did?" There was just the slightest falter and definitely a note of surprise in his speech.

"Of course I did honey. I told you I was going to order soon. I've been so turned on ever since just thinking about it. You are still looking forward to it, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah." How he managed to exhale, speak, and sound so sexily excited all at once I'm just not sure.

"It's a kit. There are three different things in it. One particular item is designed specifically for -"

"Yes I know," he interjected. So excited yet half afraid for me to even speak the words aloud when he was at work.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you. I know you're busy. While you finish working try not to think too much about me lying here touching myself and enjoying the anticipation of what I'll be asking of you when your present arrives."

This time I did laugh - that Evil Cowgirl laugh that excites him so much. I couldn't help myself. Teasing him is just too much fun and so very exciting.

"I love you." Full of desire. I love hearing those words in just that way.

"I love you too and tonight I'll tell you all about just how much and in how many different ways I want to show you."

(Lady Julia's note. I wrote this in March of this year and then realized I'd been a little too open with my information. I've modified it a bit and am republishing now.)

Femdom Fantasies

I wanted to tell you of a new website that I thought might be of interest to some of you.

FEMDOM FANTASIES is a collection of short stories featuring strong, dominant women and eager, submissive men. Allow your imagination to experience a variety of FEMDOM FANTASIES by wandering through the pages of this site.

The site is accepting story submissions for publication consideration. See the site for terms.

Softly Softly Catchee Monkey

I'm guessing you suspected I wouldn't be writing today, didn't you? I honestly thought that perhaps I might not even though I've been doing pretty well with my resolve to write every day. Bill had chemo today and as you can imagine that's a rough day for him and for me. He's been quietly resting for a couple of hours now and because of this I was able to speak with Rook for awhile and also find a moment to jot down a few thoughts here for you.

Rook's a really good man. He's not just my submissive and lover, he's my friend. He knows how difficult things have been so he's been a bit more of a rascal lately (teasing and laughing, telling me tall tales to see how gullible I really am, etc). It's just something we do to relieve some of the stress - especially when we don't have the time or energy for the more physical forms of stress relief ;) In the midst of all this teasing I laughingly informed him that he was becoming just a bit too bratty and if he wasn't careful, the next time he is with me, I will have a long list of infractions and he'll be spanked - a lick for each infraction. (The mere mention of the word "lick" took my rascal off on a tangent of just where he'd like to lick ;) After a few very warm and arousing moments I steered the conversation back to spankings. I thought it time I assess how we each felt about adding that sort of activity to our play.

I've never been a believer in spanking a submissive as a form of discipline. He's a grown man and if he's "into" spanking doing so would only reinforce negative behaviors. If he's not into it, he's a grown man and some form of verbal intervention should be most effective. Usually I just tell him when I'm upset or displeased, we talk it out, and things change. Pretty simple. (This is only my opinion and I only consider it valid for myself and my partner - no judgments are being cast on others.)

Spanking for pleasure on the other hand is something that has definitely interested me in the past, but with Rook it's never really been a part of our D/s interactions. He's always been more than willing to accept it, but he's admittedly honestly that it doesn't do a thing for him. Well.. for me, that just makes it no fun at all. Controlling his mind and his pleasure is what excites me most.

When I was teasing him earlier about accruing licks on his "reasons I'm getting spanked" list, I remarked that I thought he was deliberately trying to get "into trouble" to add to his "punishment". Something in his voice changed a bit. If I didn't know him so well, I would have missed it. To my surprise, there's a bit of an interest there in playful paddling, enough so that he was a bit excited talking about it (and he certainly wasn't the only one).

All this made me think about our relationship - where we are now compared to where we when we first came together. Things I never thought I'd like - I love. He's the same way. (I know you've heard all that before but it seemed to really strike home hard tonight.) I think that it's a good sign that we're growing together as a couple. There's probably also some wisdom in there for anyone who might be attempting to get their partner to be a bit more interested in FemDom related things. Give her time. Don't push her. If you're patient, she may evolve slowly like I did and in turn, you may as well. A "no" today may not mean "no" forever. Softly, softly catchee monkey ;)

Smiles. You'll forgive me if this is a bit rambley, won't you? I'm very tired and sleepy, but I wanted to write this down while it was on my mind.

Submissive Needs

Recently in my group someone mentioned that he was concerned about putting his needs first and that by doing so, this was making him a "bad submissive".

I think that there's a very unhealthy theory running through some of the D/s community that says that the relationship has to be all about the Dom/me and that the submissive isn't a "good submissive" if he/sh is concerned about their own needs.

If you're a submissive, being concerned about your needs is healthy. We all have emotional, physical, and cognitive needs and to deny them is to put ourselves at
least to some degree of risk. In my idea of a healthy D/s relationship the submissive is trusting the dominant to take control of some* (or all) of his/her needs and to decide how and when these needs are met. It doesn't mean these needs are not important or that they should be completely ignored in favor of the Dom/me's needs. The dominant is also in control of how the submissive meets the dominant's needs. He/she is responsible for maintaining the balance required in order to insure that both are healthy and happy.

Continual total selflessness may sound great in fantasy but I would question how healthy any individual would be upon attempting to put this in practice. I'd also question how long total selflessness could be sustained.

(*When I say some of their needs, keep in mind that not everyone chooses to surrender total control of every need nor does every Domme wish to have that much control. This doesn't make their relationship more or less "real" - it's simply their choice of what works to make them both happy.)

A Little of This and That

Just a few pieces of this and that to pass on...

Thank you to everyone who sent Valentine's wishes. You're all so sweet :) It's wonderful to have such delightfully caring friends.

For those of you who entered my story contest, I'll announce the winner this weekend. I'll also be posting the contest entries on my website. I haven't read all the entries yet, but I've been impressed with what I've read thus far. It always touches me when someone makes the effort to create something just for me.

What else... oh, this week I added a new toy to my collection - this silver "finger" vibrator (why in the world someone would name a 6" vibrator "finger" I'm not sure but it's great). I mailed it to him without any explanation and I'm sure until I explained he must have wondered if I was about to expand into some serious anal play ;) I actually ordered it to use on his cock and balls during those times when I want to heighten the tease and denial sensations. Imagine how difficult it must be to hold back when this is added to the tease mix - especially used following just a slight bit of pain administered by my cock whip and nipple clamps. Top all this off with a wee bit of sensory deprivation from the sleep mask.. yum. Such delicious torture to feel such intense sensations and wonder whether or not you'll be allowed to come.

Someone asked where I purchase my toys. Usually I don't do any type of commercial endorsement but I will this once and share that I buy almost everything from Kitten's Toy Room. All items are discreetly shipped, packaged nicely, extremely well made, and often visually elegant. They're a bit more expensive than some of the other online stores but definitely worth the bit extra they charge.

Hmm... there were other things I was going to tell you about but I'm all distracted now... ;) I'll write more later.

Maintaining Perspective

Yesterday I mentioned that I'd informed Rook that I didn't think we should exchange gifts for Valentine's Day. After a few moments yesterday morning of "oh I wish I hadn't said that" it wasn't a big deal - until last night.

I called and we talked for a few minutes and then I whispered, "Happy Valentine's Day". He responded with the expected words and then immediately launched into a spiel about how stressed he was because of work. For a just a few moments it was as if my emotions were at war. I wasn't sure whether to be angry, disappointed, or sad. I suppose I was a little of all three. Where was the romantic speak? The appreciation for the wonderful woman in his life? Damn it - it's Valentine's Day - do I have to tell him to be romantic???

As he continued to speak, all the things he was worried about - work, some personal issues, and so on - all just came pouring out. I listened and offered what support I could and as I did all my anger, disappointment, and sadness dissipated. He was so stressed that I could have cut the tension with a knife. When I recognized this I realized his need was far more important to me than some silly holiday. After all he shows me all the time that he loves me and thinks I'm the sexiest woman alive. I don't have to always be the center of attention, not even on the days that commercialism infers that I should be.

On some other blogs and in comments from members in my group I often read that some hold the idea that a submissive should not be worried about his needs, how he should only focus on his Mistress and should always put her needs first. While that may sound great to some as a fantasy, things are just not really like that. At least... in my opinion it shouldn't be that way if the two are in a loving relationship. Sometimes I have to put his needs first if his needs are weightier than mine.

Being in control is great, but it carries a lot of responsibility. I can't be so demanding and taking that I disregard what he needs emotionally and physically. He's mine, I love him, and his happiness is important to me. I don't see how we could have a healthy, happy relationship if I felt any other way.

Still More On Touchless Orgasm and Ejaculation

The discussion thread in my group about this subject (and also some of the emails I've received) have really been an interesting read. I was surprised to find that some people are totally disinterested in experiencing anything like this and I'm a little at a loss as to why. I'm not judging their feelings on this - everyone has their own thing - I'd just really like to understand what could be unappealing about this. Certainly I can see why someone would not wish to experience orgasm/ejaculation this way all the time - but as a one time or occasional experience, why not? Maybe I'm at a loss because I'm not a guy. I'd think it would be totally awesome for a submissive to know that his Mistress can control his body in such a way.

From the female perspective, it's not as difficult for some women to orgasm without touching. For me, my imagination is so vivid that under the right circumstances I can have a rather astounding orgasm without any physical stimulation at all. Certainly my FAVORITE way to orgasm is through coital sex (followed closely by oral sex) followed by ...(winks) - ok, as you can see I like it many different ways. One does not detract from the other. It's all good. Very yummy in fact. It just depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc.

Anyway - I'm curious. Is this something you'd like to experience at least once? If your response is no, I'd really love to hear why. Leave a comment. As long as it is respectfully written, I'll publish anonymous comments on this one.

More on Male Orgasm and Ejaculation

My post on "Male Orgasm and Ejaculation Without Physical Stimulation" elicited some interesting comments both here and in my YahooGroup (the discussion there has been far more involved.) Is it possible, isn't it possible, is it harmful, why do it... so many questions.

I initiated this discussion because I thought it was playful and interesting. I personally had no need to prove anything scientifically - I've witnessed it first hand. However, I know there are some people who have a more analytical mind, so I thought I would ask an expert.

The following was posed to Dr. Stephen Leslie on Allexperts.com (Dr Leslie has been a practicing Urologist for 20 plus years).

Question: "Is it physiologically possible for a male to orgasm and/or ejaculate
without direct physical stimulation (no touching whatsoever)? (Not a wet dream
and not a teenager - an adult male.) An example would be a man being erotically
hypnotized or stimulated watching porn or listening to extremely erotic words."

Dr Leslie's response: "It's possible but very uncommon. Nocturnal
emissions are examples of ejaculation without physical stimulation."

So - it's possible. Very uncommon - probably so, although I'm doubting that there's been any study of this phenomenon :)

Someone suggested this could actually be harmful to the male, however as my friend Mark pointed out in a comment in my Yahoo Group, how could it be any more harmful to a relationship, procreation, etc than masturbation would be?

Why do it? Because I wanted to see if I could :) And.. wow... talk about the ultimate control over your submissive's body! The rush I felt when it happened was and remains almost indescribable! Would I want to do this all the time? Of course not. In fact, I think we've only done this a couple of times. The rarity of it makes for a super hot time ;)

How do we do it? Actually, I did not even use hypnosis to achieve this in person. For a number of days (less than a week) he was not allowed to touch. During this time I teased him in a number of ways. A lot. REALLY A LOT. Super sexy teasing at random and unexpected times. I made sure he knew who controlled his body and just how much I controlled it. On the day he was finally allowed to release, he was allowed to because he pleaded to do so (oh my goodness what a turn-on). There was no touching, no sheet or clothing touching him, no friction of any kind. Was he lying perfectly still? Of course not. His hips were moving up and down just like they would have been had we been having coital sex. He was DESPERATE for release.

I've been told by a number of other fellas that they have experienced similar. I have no reason to believe those close to me would lie, so I accept what they've said. Many have reported experiencing this sort of release when listening to my hypnosis MP3s.

I think physiology, belief and desire play a big part in experiencing this phenomenon. Physiologically some men have difficulty with ejaculation even in the most "standard" of circumstances. This may or may not be something that can be changed (I think for some it can). I definitely believe it can't happen for someone who thinks it can't. Again, this is something that can be changed for many.. it may just take the right amount of persuasion ;)

Training

Your quickened breathing and perfectly held position signals that you're ready. My eyes glance over the items resting on the table nearby. Black leather paddle, graduated anal plugs, a nice long dildo, candles, ice, lube, and more. You could easily list every item for your racing mind is reviewing the possibilities for each. Which will I use? Will I use any?

I chuckle softly in delight as I notice your body trembling just a little in anticipation.

A crook of my finger bids you closer. That's right, crawl to me. Slowly. I love watching your body as you do. There... stop right there. Perfect.

I stand and slowly walk around your body, inspecting my property. God I love your body. You're so incredibly sexy and I love how your body responds when I touch you. Yes... just like that... my hand caresses the curve of your behind and your cock - my cock - twitches.

The number two anal plug. That's today's adventure. A bit bigger than the last time but something I know you'll enjoy. That bit of pressure, a feeling of fullness. A constant reminder while it's in place that I own all of you and enjoy all of you.

Deep breath Darling... take a nice deep breath and the exhale slowly as I take possession of your body. I smile as your gasp reaches my ears. Such a good boy. So obedient. So very pleasing to your Mistress.

As I walk back to my chair and sit... so close to your face now... I can see the pleasure and excitement dancing across your face. The tautness of my nipples and the wetness between my thighs offer testimony that this excitement and pleasure is mutual.

Come closer still my Darling. As my thighs spread, my skirt lifts to reveal that I am pantyless.

It's time to taste. My well trained pet - you know exactly how to please your Mistress. Your tongue and lips so warm, so eager to please. Each soft cry that escapes my lips excites you a bit more... your muscles clinching... gripping that hardness in your behind. A bit of precum moistens the tip of your stiff cock. Yes, that's right. My pleasure is your pleasure. So close. Your excitement building. So very close... Just one caress and you would release. However, that's not our goal, is it? My hands grip the back of your head as my body shudders in release. Your body stiffens. So very close...

But... alas... not this time, my Darling. We'll continue your training. Conditioning you both hypnotically and physically. My pleasure is your pleasure. Pleasing me feels so very good. One day soon my cries of pleasure will trigger your release. Until then, we'll enjoy the training.

Caged

(Story moved to Femdom Fantasies).

Holy Batmoblie! ( or Terrific Tush Tuesday)

I always thought tattoos were ok but they didn't particularly turn me on. I think I just changed my mind ;)

Gotta love men who enjoy serving for the sake of serving. "Wax your car darling? Of course! I'd be happy to! Pleasing you makes me feel so very good." Happy service is a big plus mark in the "yes" column on the "should I dominate my partner"question. No reminding, no nagging, no arguing - he does things because he enjoys doing them for me. So many women spend years just trying to get their man to pick his underwear up off the floor. Not so in a FemDom relationship :) Thankfully so, because as Neil Chethik says, “More than anything, women want men to be aware and contribute. It is not sexy to feel like his mother.”