Fantasies

Can you reflect one of your fantasies with a photograph or painting?

Thinking of You

Kinky Hypnodomme Fantasies

Recently one of my website visitors asked, "What is the kinkiest thing you think about?"

When I read the question I thought, "Oh that will be an easy one to answer", but the more I thought about it, the more difficult it was to pick the kinkiest. There are many kinky things I think about - cages, anal play, multiple slaves serving me, knife play (more as roleplay with a blunt knife), long term bondage, and quite a bit more. How does one decide which is awarded that badge of kinkiest?

Kidnapping and enslaving through hypnosis a very intelligent, strong man is one of the kinkier things that occasionally occupies my fantasies. Perhaps he's someone who works for me occasionally and every time I see him I am impressed with his intellect and the strength he seems to possess. I want him so I will have him.

One day he steps into my office to drop off a report and I mention that I need some help with a computer problem. He slips into my chair and I look over his shoulder as he tinkers with my Windows settings looking for a non-existent problem. Whispers in his ear, soft and seductive, so very hypnotic- he's soon under my spell. Completely unable to resist. Able only to obey.

We leave the building and head directly to my home. Throughout the entire evening we merely talk. We discuss everything. Music, politics, literature, views on sex - everything. His mind is so quick and his ability to articulate amazes me. His quiet strength is always apparent. Before long we've talked through the night and I've discovered that he is indeed the one.

At daybreak he half-heartedly mentions leaving but quickly acquiesces to my soft instruction that he stay. As the day passes I hypnotize his tired but happy mind several times. Soft, persuasive words can be so difficult to resist even for the strongest man.

By the end of the day, tired and slightly dazed from so much caressing of his mind, he agrees to allow me to hypnotize him even deeper. I must explore what lies in the depths of his mind. Surely kinky desires reside there... I think they reside in everyone.

Before long I've coaxed his most secret desires from him. He wants to be taken - body and mind. He knows he's strong, but he dreams of a woman so much stronger that he is unable to resist her. He smiles because he realizes that I am that woman.

A deeper look reveals a variety of mildly kinky desires. Bondage, especially the sort of bondage where he is totally helpless, followed by such seductive teasing that he is left begging.. pleading. I adore that he is so eager to beg.

He wants to watch. Watching turns him on so much! Bound and watching as I slowly undress, first caressing my body and then pleasuring my body. My soft moans of ecstasy fill him with such an intense desire to touch but he's helpless to do so.

Pleasing - oh yes he wants so much to please and to be used in whatever way I desire. Surrendering himself completely to my wishes. Pleasuring my body as only one so devoted can. He knows better than any before him how to please me orally and in so many other ways.

It's ok that his desires are only mildly kinky. He's given me what I want most - I've enslaved him merely with words. He'll soon find that his desires have expanded to match mine. After all a slave is always eager to give his Mistress whatever she desires. And this slave isn't going anywhere. He's mine for as long as I wish.*

~~~~~~~

Question left on the survey/polls section of my website. You may leave your question there as well.

*No, I'd never do anything like this but it's certainly an exciting fantasy to consider.

Still More On Fantasies

I often find that some of the most interesting writing transpiring on my blog can be found not in what I write, but in the comments left by others. In response to the last post on fantasies, Goddess Susan wrote:

"We all know there are times when we talk to our lover but don’t hear most of what they’re saying. We’re busy forming our own response, rebuttal, opinion, etc as they talk.

In many cases, there’s a tendency to concentrate solely on “the fantasy”. To immediately make a judgement. Whether it’s appealing, why he wants it etc. and in doing so we miss an opportunity.

Remove the details of the fantasy and you have a man who is being honest, open and extremely vulnerable to you. As women we pay great lip service to craving more feelings and intimacy from our guys, well sometimes it may come in a form that we may not be initially comfortable with.

Try to view his fantasy as a portal in which you and he can walk through, into a more honest, intimate relationship, regardless of whether the fantasy is ever realized.

As for the guys, remember that your fantasies are screened thru the many filters of your relationship when you express them to your lover. It’s important to know where you are in the relationship and how she feels about "us" when talking to her. I think most women that feel truly loved and secure may be open to more than you imagine."

Wonderfully stated.

More on Fantasies

My friend Robert wrote the following and since I found it very insightful I thought I'd share it. (Again, not designed as advice for anyone - just a sharing of thoughts.)

"i've been pondering the fantasy sharing question You posed. i know my erotic fantasies are all over the map and aren't really geared to consider real-life implications for others. So my gut instincts are that i'm hesitant to share something that my lover could perceive as a desire, hope or expectation that they feel unwilling or inadequate to fulfill. Even though we might emphasize that it is something we don't really consider doing in real life, our lover may be so desirous of pleasing us, that i wonder if the effect on them could still be the same. i say that with a hearty appreciation for honesty in a relationship. My thought is that it might set my lover up to feel disconnected and conflicted if they don't feel comfortable joining the fantasy. But then how do we ever find out if we have compatible fantasies with our lover? i don't feel i have a handle on the answer to this question yet.

Bottom line: Real life cries out for the courage to take reasonable risks when seeking to deepen and enrich our relationships. Sensitivity to our partner's needs may mean carefully entrusting our fantasies with them in small doses, being especially attentive to the comfort level in their reactions and body language."

Sharing Fantasies

According to Dr Thomas Stuttaford, a sex advice columnist from the Times Online, "You may already have realised — and I have been told this by many patients — that it is nearly always a mistake to confess fantasies to a partner unless you are certain that they are shared. Personal fantasies can be held against you. If your partner does not share the same fantasy, she may even find it a positive turn-off. The only certainty is that if this is so, your fantasy will not be forgotten."

I realize I am very lucky. I have a very open, very loving relationship and I can (and have) shared many fantasies with my fella. True, there were a few things that were difficult to say because I wasn't certain how he would respond, but some were things I wanted to experience and the only way to experience them was to talk about what I wanted. Some were things I can't ever fathom doing but it decidedly turns me on to think about them and talk about them. Most of the things I've shared appeals to him (although he'd never considered a few until I persuasively explained the appeal). One or two didn't appeal at all but even then he agreed to at persue them if that was my wish. At no point did he express dismay or concern. On the flip side, we've had similar conversations with very positive results about his fantasies. It feels good to know that I can trust him enough to be myself and that he knows he can do the same.

To be certain there are better ways than others to share things. I personally prefer to hear these things during times when we are alone and in the context of he and I pursuing these fantasies together. If that's not possible, I want to hear the fantasy in terms of some faceless person. I have in a past relationship learned of fantasies while my partner was staring at someone else and envisioning himself pursuing said fantasy with that particular individual (he was not the brightest bulb in the pack and was certainly quite inconsiderate). Now fantasies are often shared casually, with never any pressure for the other to participate - only a request for acceptance and understanding that this is a small part of what makes us tick. Since we have a relationship-long history of talking about anything and everything - including sex - this has made it easier for us to discuss the more difficult conversational topics.

Do you agree with Dr. Stuttaford? Is it almost always a mistake to share your fantasies unless you know they're shared? I know many have had some bad experiences when revealing these innermost secrets, but I'm wondering in these situations was the problem with all fantasies or just some? Was it the timing/manner in which the fantasy was presented or was it strictly the fantasy itself that made the situation so unappealing? Certainly there are some with partners who are so closed minded or who possess such low self-esteems that the risk would be great on almost any fantasy. But... are most relationships unable to openly address such issues?

ADDENDUM: I've been thinking about this since I wrote this entry yesterday. I don't want anyone to think that I am inferring that everyone should just run out and share their fantasies with their partner. I was merely relating my feelings about my relationship and my experience with this. My primary intent in writing this piece was to stimulate discussion about others' experiences and whether or not they agreed with Stuttaford's statements.

Terrific Tush Tuesday On Wednesday

I don't think I've posted this one before. (Note to self - must develop a system - smiles).

Wouldn't he be yummy for under the tree?

There will be more about my weekend as soon as I have time to write, I promise. For now, let's talk about Christmas. If you could orchestrate exactly how your Christmas Eve this year will be, what would happen? Don't be shy about being self-indulgent or creative. Realistic or fanciful. I want to hear ;)