"Long Term" Bondage

In response to my expression of interest in long term bondage, TVH inquired, "Sounds delectable. But what, praytell, would be your concept of long-term-bondage? :)"

I had to smile because just last night I was speaking with my fella about that particular post and he remarked on the nebulousness of phrases like "kinkiest" and "long-term bondage". What's kinky to me probably seems tame to most people that read here and I'm sure what I consider long-term bondage is considered but brief interlude to others.

To answer your question, TVH, I would have to offer two answers, one fantasy and the other reality.

When the concept of long-term bondage invades my fantasies I think perhaps of leaving someone bound and helpless all day and all night. The bondage itself doesn't really turn me on. Ok, it does a little, but mostly it's the reaction I see when he is bound and helpless; also his reaction when he's being teased and denied while bound. If I'm not present with him that diminishes some of my enjoyment of the situation. That said, in fantasy world it's sort of fun to think about whispering in his ear promising something delectable for the next morning, stroking him while I describe in very vivid detail what is to come. I'd continue until he was so aroused he was literally writhing on the bed, tugging desperately at his bonds, and then I'd turn and smile to myself as I left him that way throughout the night.

In reality I'd never leave someone bound all night long (and especially not alone) because of all the safety issues. "Long term" play would be something more along the lines of an all day thing from the time he rises in the morning until he slips into his bed at night. I don't mean strapped to the bed in four point bondage, though. I can't imagine that would be too much fun after a few hours and there are considerations regarding the need for range of motion, etc. For long term bondage I like using wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and chains. Imagine either the wrists chained together with a 2 foot long chain or perhaps each wrist secured via a chain to a D ring on the collar. Then perhaps an ankle cuff or two chained to something. If he's really experienced at wearing the chains and thus not likely to trip over them, then I feel fairly safe in placing a chain between his ankle cuffs. All this leaves me with a naked or almost naked man working around my house or serving me in whatever way I wish, a man for whom I've provided a tangible reminder every time he moves of my control and his surrender.

~ Lady Julia

P.S. Yes I know the photo is funny :) He certainly looks enthused, doesn't he?

Bondage Makes Men Happier

Well I know it does any men that I am with ;) Now surveys are indicating others feel the same. According to a survey conducted by Sydney based World Association of Sexual Health, men who are "into BDSM" are psychologically healthier. From a Foxs News article:

... men into BDSM scored significantly better on a scale of psychological wellbeing than other men.

“This seems to imply that these men are actually happier as a result of their behaviour, though we're not sure why,” she (Dr Richter) said.

Perhaps the people who are "into BDSM" feel more communicating about their sexual needs? And perhaps this increased level of communication leads a better sex life? I am not one to purport that vanilla sex isn't yummy because it certainly is. Sex is yummy period. Vanilla relationships are not inferior to D/s relationships - they're just different. That said, I think perhaps the nature of the D/s relationship calls for a level of communication that may not be as easily found in many vanilla relationships.

At any rate, isn't it great to know that you're probably psychologically healthier than a lot of other people out there? (98 percent of other people to be exact - if you believe the survey results are valid.)

The new sex study has revealed that 2 percent of Australian men and 1.4 percent of women admit to enjoying dominance, submission and sadomasochism-type sex in the past year.

Well perhaps not quite that small of a percentage.

“There will definitely be more men and women who have sexual tastes in this direction but won't call it this,” said Dr. Juliet Richters, of the University of New South Wales.

It seems people just don't like the label. They're not willing to admit they like "BDSM", but they get off on a little bondage and spanking. Just don't label it kink and they're ok.

Whatever the percent, I am sure that number is growing. More and more people are developing an open mind and allowing a healthy sexual curiosity to creep in and take control for just a little while. As they do, they're finding what we already knew.

Kink is good. Yum.

Begging

(c) 2007 by Kat's Grey Pet


I can still see you in my mind, although you've shut out the light from my eyes. I hear you move around the room, can tell you are very pleased with yourself, that you're smiling. The scent of your perfume fills my lungs.

I try to move, and you giggle.

"You're not getting loose," you tell me again.

"You cheated," I reply.

You laugh. "I did NOT cheat!"

"I almost won," I reply.

"But you didn't, and you won't get loose."

I fumble at the silk that binds my arms for a few moments. I can tell you're watching me, watching my struggles.

"You're not trying very hard," you tell me. And then I feel a fingernail on the bottom of my foot. I jump.

"Hey!" I complain. "Stop that."

You giggle again. God, I love the sound of your voice! I feel you as you climb onto the bed and perch on top of me, feel your hands caress my chest for a moment.

"Tell me, do you think I could tie your legs, too?" You scootch down, a little, pinning my legs to the bed. I pause, considering, resigned.

"Probably," I admit after a moment.

Your hands move to my belt, pausing.

"I'll give you a choice," you offer. "Cooperate while I remove the rest of your clothes, or I'll tie your legs and tickle your feet."

In emphasis, you reach around and run another fingernail up the bottom of a bare foot. I jump, but you've got me pinned to the bed.

"Oh god!" I breathe. "Please don't, Love."

"Cooperate then. You know you want to, anyway."

I don't say anything, but as your hands return to my belt, I shift to make it easier for you to remove my remaining clothes.

And continue to struggle with well-tied silk.

You return to your perch on top of me, watching my silent struggles for a moment, then turn around.

"What are you doing?" I ask I feel a scarf wrap around one of my ankles.

"Tying your feet."

I start to jerk away, but it's too late, and you pull the silk taut, pulling my leg sideways. I squirm and try to pull away, but you quickly secure the silk and pounce on the remaining leg. After just another moment, I'm spread eagled on the bed, breathing heavily.

"You're a brat!" I tell you.

In response, you climb back on top of me, sitting over my hips. Suddenly, you grasp my chin, pulling it forward, then lean down and kiss me. I moan.

I love your touch, and I melt to your kisses.

"If you call me that again," you tell me, "I'll gag you."

"No you won't," I tell you. "You like kissing me too much."

"With used underwear."

"Mmmmm."

"YOUR used underwear," you finish.

"Ewww."

You kiss me again, teasingly. I strain, trying to lengthen the kiss, but you pull away, just out of range. I can feel your breath, but can't quite reach you. I slump back to the bed.

"It's time you learned how to beg," you tell me.

"I love you."

"I know you do. And I love you."

And then you hop off me again. Suddenly, you grasp one of my ankles.

"Hey!" I complain again. "No tickling!"

You laugh. "Try to stop me." And I feel fingernails on the bottom of my foot. Not moving yet, but the threat is there.

"Please don't," I say quietly.

You fingers twitch, and I jump.

"Tee hee. I love it when you're ticklish."

"Oh god!" I exclaim as you begin tickling in earnest. I try to jerk away, but the silk is taut. I squirm madly. "Stop! Please stop!"

You pause for a moment, allowing me to catch my breath, then begin again.

Random Late Night Thoughts

Image by Justice Howard

It's late and I cannot sleep. It's times like this that I most hate him being so far away. Smiles - well times like this and those times when I am exceptionally in need of my favorite form of physical activity ;) I want to talk now and he's asleep. Yes of course I know I'm the Domme and I could simply call and wake him up but I won't. I see no reason to be inconsiderate even though I know he'd probably be the first person to say "you should have called me!" Instead, I'll just ramble on here for a bit (my thoughts are a bit too distracted for much more than rambling).

Let's see.. I've added a couple more blogs to my list of blogs I read. The first is Alternative Journey, a relatively new blog written by a very articulate Domme named Elizabeth. I especially enjoy her post entitled, "The Boss Lady Serves Coffee" as the concept is something with which I wholeheartedly concur. The second is Bitchy Jones' Diary, a blog so delightfully funny that I found myself laughing out loud as I was reading.

What else... oh.. I've been thinking about cling wrap lately. Wrapping him from ankle to shoulders with a nice layer of cling wrap - all of him that is but his favorite appendage. After all, controlling him turns me on so much that I wouldn't want that part of him to be inaccessible to me ;) Perhaps I would allow his tongue to pleasure me first. Choices, choices... so many delicious choices. I believe I'll send him out to buy a special roll of cling wrap to be used only for that purpose and have him leave it sitting out on the counter each time he has friends over. They'll never know, but I've not doubt he'll feel a nice twinge anyway when he walks past it.

Hmm - that thought didn't certainly didn't help with the sleeplessness :) Perhaps the shower I find I now need will help to relax me enough so that I can sleep.

Some Days...

Some days it feels so good to be evil.

The other night I mentioned something to Rook about the Evil Cowgirl. Much to my surprise I'd never told him that little story from my past.

When I was eight or nine some new boys moved into the house behind mine. Now... our neighborhood didn't have any girls with whom I could play, so I was forced to play with the new boys. The one who was my age was so smart and cute that I just lovvvved him immediately. When we played, I was always the group leader (now, can you imagine that?) and, as such, used to make them play good guys and evil cowgirl in our clubhouse. I, of course, was the evil cowgirl and they were the good guys I was forced to capture and tie up so they couldn't take me away. I'd keep them tied up til they begged me to let them go. Even after he begged, I wouldn't let the one loose that I liked - not until he promised to be my boyfriend and do what I said.

It's funny how stories like this stir up fantasies in the minds of submissive boyfriends ;) We've talked about it a couple of different times since that night and he confessed he has found himself at odd moments wondering what it would have been like to have known me way back then and how that sort of play would have effected him. I admit I've wondered quite a bit lately if that play triggered something kinky in the minds of those little boys and if they all remembered. Had it effected their adult lives any? Were they perhaps a bit kinky too? My brothers are still friends with them, but only one is single and as such, he is the only one I've ever really teased about it since we've been grown. Even then, I only briefly mentioned it to him and spoke of how much fun we all use to have playing. He agreed it was one of his fondest memories but the discussion never went any farther.

Today I spent the day with my parents, my brother, his wife, Bill, and their daughters. Usually when my brother visits from out of town some of the old gang will stop by to see him and catch up on everything. Today was no exception.

K stopped by with his wife and two young (and very rowdy) boys in tow. Since we were already outdoors grilling (it was a beautiful day), it was natural that the boys began playing with my youngest niece. The adults sat around talking and laughing but mostly watching the kids play. As children will, they soon began to fight about what they wanted to do. A truly mischievous idea crossed my mind and at first I told myself I couldn't do it. I shouldn't do it. Who was I kidding? After all that talk this week about the Evil Cowgirl I had to do it!

I had my oldest niece run and get the jump rope stored in the garage. I then gathered the kids around and told them I knew of a really fun game they could play. I deliberately positioned myself so that I could see their parents' faces as I began to explain all about "good guys and the evil cowgirl". The kids thought it was a terrific idea (especially my six year old niece who is the bossiest child I've seen since.. well, probably me.) As I spoke I watched the faces of K and his wife. Seriously - it was one of life's priceless moments. First K's face began to get a little red and he gave a quick glance at his wife. She in turn began to get a little red and gave a nervous little giggle. When she did I couldn't help it, I had to lower my head to hide my smile. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud. After I regained my composure, I looked up and K shrugged his shoulders rather sheepishly and gave me a slow wink and nod. They knew I knew and I'm pretty sure they suspect about me. Given the fact that we were surrounded by children and my *very* conservative family nothing else was said, but I fully expect a phone call later in the week. Who knows, I may have just found another kinky couple in the middle of the conservative heartland ;)

"Pillow Talk: BDSM: a Gentle, Firm Introduction"

Through Goddess Kwan Yin's Yahoo Group, I discovered a link to an interesting article entitled "Pillow Talk: BDSM: a Gentle, Firm Introduction". It's a nice little primer that does a good job of normalizing the use of bondage and spanking in sexual play. Since spanking can offer a few hazards when using implements other than the hand, it also offers some practical safety advice.

I like seeing articles like this in "mainstream" publications. It's a nice way to offer information to those who are just beginning or are on the edge considering taking the plunge.

Rope Bondage

Bondage has long fascinated and excited me. While I've had a great deal of experience with many forms and have at times used rope, I've never used any intricate rope bondage like Japanese Rope Bondage. When I've heard of it's use, it's always been with female submissives. I wonder, have any of you any experience with this beautiful art form as a male submissive or a Female dominant?