I've Moved My Blog (Again)

I've been having difficulties lately posting to my blog. I'm not sure if it is the volume of posts and photos already on the site, if it's my web hosting company, or something else altogether. Whatever the reason, I'm going to try moving it to http://www.ladyjulia.net/myblog to see if that helps. All the older entries will remain here. If you've been kind enough to link to my blog, please wait a few days before changing the link to the new blog site. If this change doesn't help correct the problem, then I'll remain here.

This and That

I'm going to begin to add more sites to Mesmerizing Women of the Web and remove those that are no longer in existence. If you have suggestions for additions, please leave a comment or email them to me.

Additionally, I'm going to take back the running of Femdom Fantasies so if you'd like to submit something for consideration, email the story(stories) to me as well. I know some of you out there write really well so I'm betting that within a week I'll have several stories to add. (You know who you are and yes, I am definitely thinking of you when I write this...)

Regarding the comment situation on my blog, I'm strongly considering someone's suggestion that I disallow anonymous comments. My only hesitation in doing so is that some of my favorite commenters (including my anonymous poet friend) choose to either sign their name in the content of their comment or post completely anonymously. I would not like to think I would lose the option of reading your wonderful words, so I need to know - will you continue to comment if I change my settings to allow only blogger ID or open ID registered users to post? (Open ID means you use your Wordpress, Live Journal, Typepad, or AIM IDs.) Registering an ID on Blogger, Wordpress, or Live Journal takes only 2-3 minutes and it's free. The others are probably the same. I'll wait a few days for your comments.

Update on RSS Feed

I had a request for the new URL for my blog RSS feed and thought perhaps others might need it as well.

http://www.ladyjulia.net/blog/rss.xml

Female Supremacy

Image by Sardax
Thanks to Juergen for sending it to me

Does anyone know what happened to Becky's blog? I read it a few times months ago but lost the link. I only found it again a few days ago and now it is gone.

Becky, if you have taken your blog down, I know there are many who are sad to see it go.

Quote Me

In my oh so plentiful spare time I'm planning to expand my website to include select articles and blog entries written by others. Why try to say it myself if it has already been explained so well by some of you?

If you write publicly and are interested in sharing your material with the readers of my main website, please leave a "quote me" remark in the comment section of this post. I may quote an entire article (or articles) or I may only quote a pertinent section. I promise if I quote only a section I won't take your words out of context. With anything I quote I'll be certain to credit you and link back to your site. If you leave a blanket "it's ok to quote me" then I won't have to hunt you down to ask permission. That would help a lot :)

Last year I had about 130,000 visitors to my main site (excluding MWoW and this blog). Not a tremendous amount but this was with doing very little to the site. I have someone who has offered to help with the technical / googley aspect of promoting the site and I plan to add content to it on a regular basis. I'm thinking this will drive up the hits quite a bit so if you're listed, you should by default see hits to your blog or site as well.

Should I by some chance ever write something you'd like to quote, please feel free. I would ask that you include my "name" and a link to the original article/blog entry. In the past week or so I've seen myself quoted verbatim on a couple of blogs without anything that identified me as the author. While I'm flattered that someone wanted to quote me, I'd appreciate receiving credit. Vain, perhaps, but that's just me ;)

Thinking Blogger

Congratulations, you've won a ...


Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

I've been tagged by Tom Allen of The Edge of Vanilla as a blogger that makes him think. Of all the nice compliments that I've received about my blog, this is pretty much the piece de resistance. While there are many bloggers with whom my views differ and certainly many do not agree with mine, as long as we make one another think I believe we've really accomplished something.

So, thanks Tom and right back atcha. You would have definitely made my list had you not tagged me first. What I want to know is, how did you narrow it down to five? All of the blogs I read make me think and I deeply appreciate the authors' open and honest efforts. Kudos to each!

In the spirit of the meme, I'll make an effort to select my top five..

1. Susan from Suzywearsthepants. Susan is witty, charming, and such a talented writer. I'd read her blog for pure enjoyment alone, but she also offers delightful insight into what it's like to be in a healthy, happy, loving, sexy relationship in which there's just the right touch of FemDom play for them. So many dream of such a relationship and Susan helps the reader hold on to the belief that it can happen. What a gift.

2. Richard from Down On My Knees. Wow, it's hard to find the words to do justice to Richard. He and his Alexandra have such a wonderfully loving kinky relationship. On Richard's blog the reader will find a plethora of well written, thought provoking articles written from the perspective of a man who has long held and explored his kinks. I find his insight invaluable.

3. Goddess V and Veezknight from Wife-Led Marriage. Wise. I suppose that is the first word that springs to mind when reading their blog. They don't write often, but when they do it is always something worth reading.

4. Destiny and chance from Destiny and Her Pet Chance. Often when I read their blog, their loving, open and honest words bring tears to my eyes. If ever there was a poster couple for loving D/s it would have to be these two. They're so incredibly creative with their writing, their video clips, and their photos but even moreso with the way they interact. If I ever wanted to demonstrate to someone that BDSM activities could occur in a loving manner, I'd direct them to this blog (and to Richard's).

5. Brian David Phillips from Life of Brian. If you ever have a question about hypnosis, whether erotic or therapeutic, Brian is the guy to ask. He has a rich background in training and practice and is able to disseminate that information via his blog and his YahooGroup in such a clear, concise manner that everyone interested can understand.

Terrific Tush Tuesday and Other Stuff

Image by Jubie

Image by Jack Vettriano

There.. a little something for everyone. Yum ;) I am, by the way, waiting for a tush picture from one of my friends. To save him total embarrassment, I won't call his name - but you know who you are. Now how long has it been that you've been promising me a photo of that very nice tush of yours? ;)

It's been a pretty busy day today so my thoughts are a bit fragmented (you may be saying, so what's new with that, Lady J? If so, mark down two swats on your "things I should be spanked for" list ;) Again - you know who you are.. Spanking lists are fun, aren't they? You never know when the licks will come and that's part of the deliciousness...

My new phone arrived today. See what happens when I deal with male customer service people? Next day service at no charge - yum ;) It's a wonderfully complicated phone that apparently would have been quite expensive had I paid full price. Even though I'm sure I won't use all the features it's fun to know they're there (capability of 10 IM conversations at once... who in the heck can do that even if the phone will accommodate it??)

I've updated my "blogs I read list" a couple of times over the past several days so take a look. Among those I've added is Myle's Evil Torturing Angel, Arafinwe's Blog, and maymay's Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed. If I've already told you about the last two, just ignore me ;) There may be others I've added and neglected to mention so peruse the list slowly. There's lots of good reading there.

More later.. I have lots more to say especially about this new evil side of me that seems to be emerging. It's intriguing me. Yes, that's right - I said evil.. but only in the very best way to be evil ;)

Older Blog Entries

I realized that I have somehow neglected to post the link to my older blog entries. Last summer I shifted to hosting my entries on my website, but there are still about 300 entries hosted on blogger and on another area of my site aside from this one. If you have an interest, those entries are still available.

Verbal Assertions of Control

I was thinking about something that Her Buddy wrote earlier today on his blog:

I asked her if I did good this weekend. She said she must not give me enough praise. I said that is not it, just for some reason, I like to hear her acknowledge what I have done. Just a reminder from her verbally goes a long way. She doesn't quite understand that yet. Not that I was a "good little boy" but that she appreciated that I tried to make sure she was in charge and that I was obedient to her wishes.

Everyone needs a bit of praise from time to time, but it took me a while in the beginning to realize just how much more intensely words of encouragement and appreciation mean to many submissive fellas. Even more than that, I think, is how much hearing the assertion of my control means.

"I really love controlling you in this way."

"It excites me so much when you ____ simply because I asked you to do it/required it of you", etc.

"I control you.. whenever and however I wish."

"It's so easy to have you do ____ because you're mine - mine to control in any way I see fit."

"You'll enjoy doing this for me, won't you? Because all the time you're doing it, you'll be feeling my control and you'll know that you're pleasing me.. yes, and pleasing me feels so very good."

For many these types of verbal assertions of control really seem to excite, motivate, and strengthen the bond between the Dom/me and the submissive.

Rook's particular hot button is for me to remind him that I saw him, decided I wanted him, and was able with almost no effort to seduce him into being mine to control. He loves knowing I took him - a man who did not identify himself with being submissive at all - and guided him to a place where he will now do anything I ask.*

For many utilizing verbal assertions of control won't be a natural thing. It wasn't for me, but the more I use them and take note of the responses they elicit, the more it has become a natural part of the way I communicate.

---

P.S. I think some of you would enjoy Her Buddy's blog. He seems so open and real with what he shares.

---

* Usually I am not impressed with "I'll do anything you ask" statements, but I know his statement comes from a deep level of trust and knowledge of me as his partner. He knows I'd never ask him to do anything that would hurt him or anyone else so he feels safe in offering his willingness to do the things I ask.

Random Late Night Thoughts

Image by Justice Howard

It's late and I cannot sleep. It's times like this that I most hate him being so far away. Smiles - well times like this and those times when I am exceptionally in need of my favorite form of physical activity ;) I want to talk now and he's asleep. Yes of course I know I'm the Domme and I could simply call and wake him up but I won't. I see no reason to be inconsiderate even though I know he'd probably be the first person to say "you should have called me!" Instead, I'll just ramble on here for a bit (my thoughts are a bit too distracted for much more than rambling).

Let's see.. I've added a couple more blogs to my list of blogs I read. The first is Alternative Journey, a relatively new blog written by a very articulate Domme named Elizabeth. I especially enjoy her post entitled, "The Boss Lady Serves Coffee" as the concept is something with which I wholeheartedly concur. The second is Bitchy Jones' Diary, a blog so delightfully funny that I found myself laughing out loud as I was reading.

What else... oh.. I've been thinking about cling wrap lately. Wrapping him from ankle to shoulders with a nice layer of cling wrap - all of him that is but his favorite appendage. After all, controlling him turns me on so much that I wouldn't want that part of him to be inaccessible to me ;) Perhaps I would allow his tongue to pleasure me first. Choices, choices... so many delicious choices. I believe I'll send him out to buy a special roll of cling wrap to be used only for that purpose and have him leave it sitting out on the counter each time he has friends over. They'll never know, but I've not doubt he'll feel a nice twinge anyway when he walks past it.

Hmm - that thought didn't certainly didn't help with the sleeplessness :) Perhaps the shower I find I now need will help to relax me enough so that I can sleep.

Irritable Domme Warning

I've been a bit out of sorts for the last week or so, so here's my "irritable Domme warning". My responses may not be nice nor even fair. I'm trying to deal with these feelings and if you write something that hits me the wrong way, you may have to deal with it too. My friends don't have to worry about this but dick and his consorts have been given fair warning.

A couple of responses to an email I received and a question asked in the comments section:

Steve (aka "perfect slave") wrote:

"Respectfully Lady Julia the quality of your blog has rapidly gone downhill. Why are you posting all these meaningless posts with photos and one or two sentences? Don't you have anything of depth to write about anymore?"

Steve, I'll begin by stating the obvious - prefacing your remarks with the word "respectfully" doesn't mask the intent of your comment (not that I think that you intended it to.) This is MY blog. I am writing it for me and for my friends. If others find it interesting and helpful then I adore that. I've made several wonderful new friends through my blog readership and that's always great. I will, however, write whatever I feel like writing and you are free to read or not read.

I am not a Domme. I am a woman with many interests who also happens to be a Domme. Yes I enjoy writing about that aspect of my life but if I from time to time wish to write about something else then I will. Feel free to remove me from your list of daily readings if you can't deal with that.

In an email to me, Dick wrote:

"Why do you list the female submissive blogs and the obviously crazy Domme blogs on your blogroll? Why don't you list blogs by people who have real D/s relationships like Saratoga? If you read their blogs you would know more about being a real Domme."

I have list the blogs I like to read. I don't list blogs I don't like to read or don't have time to read. Pretty simple concept.

Yes, some at least one blog on my list of "blogs I read" is written by a female submissive and some are written by Dommes with styles very different than mine. Unlike some who actually openly admit they only want to read the things written by people who think just like them, I'm not afraid of reading about and thinking about the ways people very different from me experience their relationships. As above, if you don't want to read the blogs linked off mine, then don't. Now, wasn't that easy?

On to more positive things.

I've added 3-4 blogs to the "blogs I read" list so take a peek and see if you see anything new. A couple are well established and one or two are new blogs. I especially like supporting the new bloggers because it's so difficult for some to keep on writing when they think no one is reading. Maybe some of you will be extra sweet and leave an occasional comment on these new blogs to let the writer know you're out there.

Hmm... what else to tell you.... Oh yes (smiles). Last night we began talking a bit more about spanking. As I've mentioned before this was a component in my previous relationship, but it's always been something Rook was never really "into". During last night's conversation I briefly mentioned spanking him for something playfully sassy that he said and it launched another long discussion about how I saw spanking happening in our relationship, what I would use when I did it, and under what circumstances it would occur. Within just a few minutes it was obvious we were both very excited (mentally and physically ;) about the idea.

Even though I completely understand the dynamic, it always amazes me when he gets excited about something just because I am. As we were talking, I thought - stretch a bit more and see how he feels about some other things he used to admit held no interest to him. I prefaced each question with a variation of, "I've been thinking about X and it really excites me - what do you think about it?" He was always willing to do any of those things but last night he professed a desire to do them. Yum. It feels so good to see our relationship growing (not because he's becoming kinkier, rather because we are becoming so in tune with one another that he's learning to let go of some things and enjoy my control even more - all because he loves and wants to please me.) That's a very wonderful feeling.

Ok, I'm off now to respond to some of the comments left recently and then to read some in my group. Sometime in the next few days I'll tell you all about the latest "experience" for the fellas in my group.

The Struggle

Sometimes I just do not have a clue what to write here. After keeping a blog for almost two years I feel as if I've pretty much covered everything at least once (some things probably numerous times). Logically there are still many things I could write about should my mind simply find a topic springboard. Thanks to my friend Richard, I now have two. The first is found on a section of his FemDom Blogs site, aptly titled Suggested Topics for Your Blog. The second, Kindlings, was referred by Miss Bonnie. The first is distinctly FemDom oriented, the second is written by a female submissive (easy enough to switch things around in my mind and still get ideas).