Jake Asked...

Image creator "Pale is Pretty"

In response to the Interview Me(me) thread, Jake asked:

What are some of your favorite movies?

Casablanca
Gone With The Wind
Steel Magnolias
It's a Wonderful Life
Rear Window
The Wizard of Oz
Breakfast at Tiffany's


What are some of your favorite books?

The Best Loved Poems of the American People
William Shakespeare: The Complete Works
Gone With The Wind
The Repairman Jack series by F Paul Wilson
Pride and Prejudice
Cyrano DeBerjerac


Can you describe what you look like?

I can, but I won't :)


Would you give up being a Domme if your boyfriend said that is what it would take for you him to stay with you?

It's not a matter of wanting to give it up. I'm dominant without really even thinking about it. It's pervasive in the way I speak and in the way I act. If he wanted me to stop being dominant, it would be the equivalent of him asking me to stop being me.

If you mean could I give up the kinky things, probably. Fortunately that's not likely to happen.

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If you asked to be interviewed and you cannot find your questions, write me and I'll send them to you.

Interview Me(me) Questions

During last week's "Interview Me(me)" fun, several asked to be interviewed. Some I think may have not seen their questions because I placed them in a "Interview Me(me) Continued" post. If you haven't yet seen your questions you may find them in comments section of either the first or second post. If my questions went places you don't wish to go, write me and let me know and I'll make changes. If you're no longer interested in responding at all, no worries :)

TVH Asked...

TVH asked...


1. Other than your favourite cowgirl outfit, do you have an outfit that makes you feel great and "uber sexy".

I have several outfits that I really like, but one of my favorites is a simple white silk button up blouse and a short black skirt. Underneath a very lacy bra, garters, and stockings. Nothing else. Oh and black pump-style heels. I also have an outfit that looks quite a bit like this that I like a lot. The opera gloves were a romantic gift from Rook - one of those "there is no reason for this gift" gifts.


2. What is your favourite food and favourite dessert?

Chinese food (General T'sao's chicken) and raspberry chocolate cheesecake from Olive Garden (I know, I know. It's totally decadent so I have it exactly twice a year to spare my hips the extra burden ;)


3. What kind of things do you think a man should do to bring him closer to a woman and arouse her interest?

Since everyone is different I think the best thing to do is find out what makes her tick. Talk to her and really listen to what she says. It's not all the difficult because most people really like to talk about themselves (she says as she answers questions about herself). Treat her like a person, not a commodity (sounds common sensical, but you'd be surprised at how many guys approach me and it is obvious it doesn't matter to them that it's me they're approaching. They just want to be dominated and it's clear any Domme will do.)

There are other things but I'm not sure I can say they apply to "most Dommes". Except for me, I pretty much only know vanilla women. I (and the vanilla women I know) have an affinity for being romanced. Lots of little things can really mean a lot. Last night when we were talking Rook said, "Would you turn on your computer for a second and search on YouTube for ____ music video". I did and as it was playing he quietly remarked, "That says what I can't always find the words to say to you". It cost him nothing except effort but it truly touched me. Not only was he romantic, but he shared his feelings.


4. Do you believe in life on other worlds, and why?

Life? Yes. Intelligent life... probably. I think that it's pretty arrogant to think we're the only intelligent life in the universe but I do wonder why ET hasn't yet phoned us ;)


5. Have you ever done anything kinky involving chocolate?

Lots - I have this affinity for chocolate. Drizzling chocolate on particular body parts and teasingly licking it off is a favorite. I like oral sex anyway but chocolate makes it extra yummy ;)

Once in a previous relationship we were staying in a hotel room and we'd forgotten to put the "do not disturb" sign on the door. Our first mistake. Then that morning after he'd gone across the hall to get some ice for my diet soda he failed to secure the privacy bolt when he came back in. The final (and biggest mistake) was deciding to stay another night. We called down to tell the front desk to charge another night to the credit card but apparently the housekeeping service didn't receive that info and thus thought the room was empty.

We were having a grand time playing - he was tied to the bed with some silk scarves and was covered in chocolate syrup. I was straddling his legs licking chocolate syrup off his tummy working my way up to his chest when the door opened and the maid walked in. She looked at him, then me, winked, and walked back out.

We laughed for 10 minutes.

Then, we thought about what COULD have happened and we laughed even more.

Faninho Asked...

Image by Christine Griffin

Faninho asked,

1,) You are always very busy and caring about others. In between you do so much work on your blog. Do you ever have time to real rest and be for yourself ..... or even to be lazy?

Yes I do :) I require very little sleep so I have a few more hours in the day than most people and I also multi-task very well. For example, right now I am sitting with Bill being the good nurse by keeping him company and making certain he is ok. He's watching TV and I'm writing on my blog. Technically I am working and playing at the same time.

In addition to my online activities I swim, lay out by the pool, have the occasional massage, watch silly movies, read, visit with friends at the book store, and have started spending time working out more. I creatively cook (which essentially means I experiment a lot), listen to music, and garden. (By the way, my online activities are things I consider to be for myself - some of you may enjoy what I do and I like that, but I do it first for me.)

During the time we're not together I spent a couple of hours every evening talking with my fella. That's lots of fun ;) What I don't have time for now as much as I would like is visiting with him. He has a very demanding job and so do I. Thankfully things are easing up with his work so I'll be able to see him again very soon.


2.)Will, due to social changes, the a of submissive- men which seems to be in demand these days be a much more common type in the future ?

I really don't know. If we who are female dominants and those of you who are submissive males ever reach a place where we can comfortably educate people about femdom relationships then perhaps. Right now so many people see "male submissives" as weak, ineffective men who cannot succeed in life without a woman to direct them. Of course nothing could be further from the truth but until more of us are able to be open with our vanilla friends and family I'm afraid the stigma will remain.

That said, I think there are really already many more female led relationships out there than we realize. Because of societal pressures it's not talked about much, but if we watch, I think we can see signs that many more women are in control in their relationships than what people admit.


3.) Think about your body. As a man I love female bodies in general. How is it for you to be in a female body: is it a pleasure for yourself, is it a tool to succeed with men to let them do as you like?

I *love* being a woman. I love being soft, feminine and sexy. Even if I were given the option I would not be a man. This isn't because being a man isn't a good thing - I love men ;) It's just so wonderful to be a woman, wearing all the sexy clothing, not only for how it looks, but for how it feels against my skin, and smelling so wonderful from all the scents laced in shampoos, lotions, etc. It probably sounds weird, but I even enjoy things like looking down at the curve of my calf as I slip my rosy-tipped feet into an elegant or sexy pair of shoes. Brushing my hair - another delicious feeling. It's long, thick, and soft. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense or if I just sound uber superficial. The ease in which I can be open in front of anyone with my feelings and my desires is another of the perks of being a woman. Because of the constructs of society, it's much easier for me to talk about these things than it is for a man to do so.

And yes.. I enjoy knowing that all those soft, feminine, sexy things about me give me a certain power over men. I'd be lying if I said it didn't.


4.)Say - it's dark and you come home late and lone. While trying to open the frontdoor, somebody -obviously a strange man with bad sexual intentions- is close behind you. You know there is nobody else around to help you. Assumed your not in the mood for a dangerous adventure, would you consider your skills of being a domme would help you do to come to grips with this situation.

Maybe but I think anyone would be afraid, Domme, submissive, male or female. Something like this happened to me about a year and a half ago and I was terrified. In the end, though, he was in a lot of pain thanks to a quick well-placed knee to the groin. I realize I was just lucky that I was able to get in a good shot, otherwise it wouldn't have mattered that I was an assertive woman.


5.)D/s for some is just a clever technique to manage the daily life more easy in the relationship. Some people feel that sexuality especially in combination with D/s has magic qualities. Some even experience spiritual power. And it can be just fun. What do you think what is for you?

Hmm.. I don't see it as anything spiritual or magical. It's really just who I am and who he is. Certainly it is fun :) I do believe it has some relationship advantages, not because it is the best way to live for everyone, but because for those relationships where it fits, it seems that there is less of a tendency to let every day life crowd out the intimacy. I do mean less, because it still happens, but I suspect for us not as much. Being in a power exchange relationship definitely helps when it comes to discussing relationship issues, desires, and needs because it's "expected" by both parties from the onset that these sort of discussions will take place.

Still the bottom line is finding what works for the couple. For some that's vanilla, for others male Dom, and so on. No one dynamic is really better than the other for everyone.

Thank you, faninho - wonderful questions :)

*****


This post is a continuation of the Interview Me(me) series. As a refresher, here's how it works.

• Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
• I will respond by asking you five personal questions, which I will leave for you in my Comments section.
• If I don’t know you that well, the questions will probably be easy and fun.
• If I think I know you pretty well, then expect the questions to be a little more personal.
• To answer them, you must repost the questions along with your answers in your journal/blog. If you don't have a journal/blog then you may answer the questions here in my comments section.
• Then, make sure to include this explanation of how it works, and offer to interview anyone else who asks.

A few additions.

• If I've asked someone else a question that you'd like to answer, by all means please do.
• If you'd like to ask me a set of questions, feel free whether it's one question or ten.
  
• If you've answered your questions on your blog and I've yet to comment, or if you've asked your questions of me and I've yet to answer, please let me know. This sort of ballooned and I'm afraid I'll inadvertently miss someone.

Arafinwe Asked...

Arafinwe asked...


1. I contacted Tom Allen about collecting the $10,000 , but he said he didn’t know anything about it, and told me to get lost. Where do you recommend I go to be lost?

Apparently there's an island in the Pacific that might work quite well...


2. If you could have any super power, (other than the ones you have now), what would it be?

Is the ability to heal a super power? If so - that one. If not, hmm.. flying, I think.


3. If you could magically peek in on anyone you wanted to, so that they could not see you but you could see and hear them, who would you spy on?

George Bush. Not during any naked or sex times (eww). Just whenever he is in secret meetings or better yet, alone in the Oval Office. I'm trying to get a mental image of that and all I can see is him sitting there behind the desk with that blank expression of his, blinking his eyes.

No, maybe not him. That would probably be too boring. Barack Obama. I so want to know for sure he's for real. Plus I think it would be awesome to spend time with a future president before he was actually elected.

Then again, maybe I would pick George Clooney. Only it would be so difficult just to peek in on him and not want to do more ;) Decisions, decisions.


4. What is the one thing you wish you could do regarding hypnosis that you have not been able to do so far?

To be able to sleep better. Sometimes I just cannot relax. It's a lot better than it used to be though :)


5. What is your shoe size? (Sorry, just kidding. Old Monty Python habits, you know.) Seriously, ……………if you could say anything you wanted to a world leader, without fear of consequences, what would you say and to whom?

I'd suggest to George Bush that he resign now before anything worse happens.

And a six and a half, sometimes a seven ;)

Dan Asked...

1)Out of the Seven Deadly Sins, which one, if you could, would you remove as a trait of mankind in the hopes that people would become much more unified and caring towards one another?

Without question it would be greed. I think greed has caused more death and anguish than just about anything except perhaps religion.

2)You have said that over the past year or so your sexuality and desires have become more diverse... Do you foresee a limit? And if so, do you imagine that that limit will get pushed further away just as your original limits did?

There are a few things I cannot ever imagine doing under any circumstances. Other than those few things, no, I don't really see a definite limit any more. If there's one thing I've learned in the past year it's to never say never when it comes to my sexuality. There are still plenty of things I don't see myself doing right now and *probably* ever - whipping someone until there are whelps or more, humiliating someone (worthless worm sort of thing), electricity play, breath play to name a few. However, if I found myself single again and a future partner was really, really turned on by these things, they're not as far out of reach as I at one time thought they were. I do believe those things would *only* appeal under that circumstance as they hold zero appeal to me now. These activities would be vehicles to controlling their physical pleasure and also mentally. That's what would make these activities appealing.

3)FUN Time... YOU wake up tomorrow and ALL chocolate is banned in the U.S.A! What do YOU do? LOL

Move!

4)Dreams, are they significant and relevant enough that one should try to interpret their meaning and use them to help govern their life OR are they just mumble jumble your subconscious mind goes through to "blow off steam" to cope with the "everyday" schtuffies in life?

Just my thoughts? yes and yes. Sometimes ;) Some dreams are pretty easy to interpret and I think they stand the best chance of meaning something. For example, sometimes when we're anxious or afraid we'll dream about something really scary but not necessarily the thing about which we are either anxious or afraid. Dreaming helps us relieve those pent up emotions. Most of the time I think our dreams are just our way of trying to rid ourselves of the things that are floating around in our subconscious - and not even necessarily significant things.

5)Internet blog "hecklers", ignore OR respond... which is the better way to deal with those types?

I'm sure the answer is to ignore them (as many of you have told me). Initially I didn't censor them because I just didn't like the idea of censoring. I like open discourse even if it means putting up with a few jerks. Lately I've begun to delete deliberately annoying comments for the most part. Rarely now I will print their comments because I think there may be others with the same question and I want to answer (for a couple different reasons). It's easy to misunderstand things especially in this medium so I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Second, there are so many people out there without a clue and they generally are the ones who think things similar to the questions left by hecklers. It sometimes seems an opportunity to educate.

Hope my answers are clear. It's been a draining few days so if they aren't, ask :)

Interview Me(me) Continued

The response to my last "Interview Me" post was great and so much fun! I'm trying to catch up now so if you haven't yet been asked your questions, look for them in the comments section of this post. If they are not there now, check back later Wednesday evening. I'll be back home then and I'll be sure and get them done by then.

If you haven't already asked to be interviewed, don't be hesitant if it sounds like fun to you. I know there were a lot of people responding, but you don't have to feel as if you're going to overwhelm me. I can always come up with questions as long as you are patient in waiting for your turn.

As a refresher, here's what you do.

• Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
• I will respond by asking you five personal questions, which I will leave for you in my Comments section.
• If I don’t know you that well, the questions will probably be easy and fun.
• If I think I know you pretty well, then expect the questions to be a little more personal.
• To answer them, you must repost the questions along with your answers in your journal/blog. If you don't have a journal/blog then you may answer the questions here in my comments section.
• Then, make sure to include this explanation of how it works, and offer to interview anyone else who asks.

A few additions.

• If I've asked someone else a question that you'd like to answer, by all means please do.
• If you'd like to ask me a set of questions, feel free whether it's one question or ten.
  
• If you've answered your questions on your blog and I've yet to comment, or if you've asked your questions of me and I've yet to answer, please let me know. This sort of ballooned and I'm afraid I'll inadvertently miss someone.

I have added some responses in the comment section of the original post.

Interview Me(me)

I like these meme things as they're a fun way to get to know more about people. Thanks to Tom, I've found another that interests me.

Here's how it works. (Oh, by the way my instructions are pretty much blatantly stolen from Tom Allen's blog - thank you Tom.)


The Rules:

• Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
• I will respond by asking you five personal questions, which I will leave for you in my Comments section.
• If I don’t know you that well, the questions will probably be easy and fun.
• If I think I know you pretty well, then expect the questions to be a little more personal.
• To answer them, you must repost the questions along with your answers in your journal/blog. If you don't have a journal/blog then you may answer the questions here in my comments section.
• Then, make sure to include this explanation of how it works, and offer to interview anyone else who asks.
  

Simple enough, yes?

Now, to Tom's questions for me. Interesting choice of questions, Tom :) Perhaps you'll allow me to interview you as well?..


Would you get cosmetic surgery, and why/why not?

I can honestly say I've never even thought about it. My nose is fine as far as I'm concerned, my lips are full, and my creator was more than generous when issuing breasts. I think I'd probably pass.


Would your outlook on D/s or sexuality be different if you were not a nurse/caregiver? How?

Interesting question. I'd have to say yes especially as most of my professional background is in psychiatric nursing/therapy . What really turns me on about much of sex and D/s is the mental aspect. Sure the physical is mm mm good even when I am not thinking at all, but I like toying with his mind, conditioning him to respond certain ways, and watching for the verbal and behavioral clues to what's going on inside his mind. Also, if it were not for my education and my career experience, I'm not sure I would have truly learned to appreciate the power of words and their impact of sex and D/s. Since I have, I'm often very selective in what I say and how (tone and inflection) that I say it. With regard to hypno D/s and erotic hypnosis, I'm almost certain I would have never have opened my mind to learning more about it had I not had this particular career background.

Aside for the psych aspect of it all, I guess I am also more cautious than I would have been if I weren't a nurse. I'm more careful with most things I say and do because I realize how easy it would be to hurt him. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it keeps me from exploring areas that sound fun but seem a bit too close to the line between safe/unsafe.


You are transported to an area with no submissive men available. How do you amuse yourself with the vanillas?

I can't imagine that I'd really be all that different than I am when I meet submissive men. Since my dominance style is a bit less "out there" than some, I don't really know that they would realize they were being dominated until it was too late... I save the cuffs and cock whips until after they are appropriately seduced, trained, and begging for it ;)


What is your sex life going to be like in fifteen years?

Just like it is right now. Obviously we'll adjust if our bodies don't cooperate as well as they do today, but otherwise I can't see my interest waning in the slightest. I like sex - a lot. I like being playful and doing exciting things. I'm imaginative. I think I can still stir up enough enthusiasm (both in him and me) when I'm 60.


Boxers or briefs? And thongs or french cuts?

For him, boxer briefs. Sometimes. Sometimes nothing at all. For me, I often don't wear any at all. When I do, french cut feels better but thongs have a little more eye appeal. It's funny. As a younger women I spent so much money looking for underwear that didn't ride up on me and now, as a woman much more comfortable with my body and my sexuality, I find myself paying $30 or more for a whisp of material designed to fit right in the spot I previously avoided. Go figure ;)

Thinking Blogger

Congratulations, you've won a ...


Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

I've been tagged by Tom Allen of The Edge of Vanilla as a blogger that makes him think. Of all the nice compliments that I've received about my blog, this is pretty much the piece de resistance. While there are many bloggers with whom my views differ and certainly many do not agree with mine, as long as we make one another think I believe we've really accomplished something.

So, thanks Tom and right back atcha. You would have definitely made my list had you not tagged me first. What I want to know is, how did you narrow it down to five? All of the blogs I read make me think and I deeply appreciate the authors' open and honest efforts. Kudos to each!

In the spirit of the meme, I'll make an effort to select my top five..

1. Susan from Suzywearsthepants. Susan is witty, charming, and such a talented writer. I'd read her blog for pure enjoyment alone, but she also offers delightful insight into what it's like to be in a healthy, happy, loving, sexy relationship in which there's just the right touch of FemDom play for them. So many dream of such a relationship and Susan helps the reader hold on to the belief that it can happen. What a gift.

2. Richard from Down On My Knees. Wow, it's hard to find the words to do justice to Richard. He and his Alexandra have such a wonderfully loving kinky relationship. On Richard's blog the reader will find a plethora of well written, thought provoking articles written from the perspective of a man who has long held and explored his kinks. I find his insight invaluable.

3. Goddess V and Veezknight from Wife-Led Marriage. Wise. I suppose that is the first word that springs to mind when reading their blog. They don't write often, but when they do it is always something worth reading.

4. Destiny and chance from Destiny and Her Pet Chance. Often when I read their blog, their loving, open and honest words bring tears to my eyes. If ever there was a poster couple for loving D/s it would have to be these two. They're so incredibly creative with their writing, their video clips, and their photos but even moreso with the way they interact. If I ever wanted to demonstrate to someone that BDSM activities could occur in a loving manner, I'd direct them to this blog (and to Richard's).

5. Brian David Phillips from Life of Brian. If you ever have a question about hypnosis, whether erotic or therapeutic, Brian is the guy to ask. He has a rich background in training and practice and is able to disseminate that information via his blog and his YahooGroup in such a clear, concise manner that everyone interested can understand.

Silly Fun

Thought I'd try Tom's suggestion and try a few blog quizzes :) I haven't done any of them for awhile now.

You Are 88% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Off the Charts! Let's face it... you're one of the sexiest people around. And you don't let anyone forget it. You're crazy hot, and you deliver on what you promise. You are definitely one wild ride.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Ten Random Things

My friend Richard tagged me for one of those blog meme thingies. Actually he did it several days ago but I haven't been able to think of 10 random things I haven't already shared :) (Tells me I talk online far too much about myself.) He reminded me that they didn't have to be totally unknown facts so here goes.

1. My eyes are hazel, but they're two different colors. One is more green, the other more brown.

2. I used to be really gullible. Once when I was about 18 or 19, my brother came to pick me up from a party and told me when I got into the car that he had bad news. California had been hit by an earthquake and had almost completely fallen off into the ocean. I believed him. He thought it was greatly funny until I started to cry. A lot.

3. I can cry on command. See above. I do not use this power for evil purposes (cross my heart). I use seduction for evil purposes but that's another story ;)

4. I used to be involved in community theater and performed as the lead in a couple of plays.

5. I have such a vivid imagination that when I was a very little kid my mom could never punish me by putting me in the corner because I just sat there and had imaginary tea parties with my "friends".

6. Sexy it up you say? Ok... my favorite sexual position is being on top but that's followed closely by receiving from behind.

7. Since I'm somewhat generously proportioned I can tease my left nipple with my tongue. For some reason, I can't the right but I use my fingers on the right so it doesn't feel left out ;) Since I can orgasm just from nipple stimulation it's a great tease for him. He loves to watch, especially when he's tied and can't touch me.

8. What, you're reading this at work and I've gone and made you flush?? Ok, back to the benign then. I used to volunteer for "reading for the blind" back when audio books were not such a commonplace occurrence. I still like reading aloud even now and in fact read all four of Dan Brown's books aloud to Bill (that's true nursely love for a patient because reading aloud Deception Point was a real killer. I believe Dan must have included every single piece of research he found when he wrote that book ;) Ah well, I forgive him since it was either his first or second work. He's definitely gotten better as he's gone along.)

9. My favorite actor is Antonio Banderas. Not because he is such a sizzling hot man with a great accent (ok, that helps), but because once I saw him on Inside the Actors Studio talking about Melanie and how much he loves her - you could tell he absolutely worships her. Any man that loves his Lady that much is special.

10. My favorite tv shows are Lost and Boston Legal. I love discussing different theories about Lost, the characters, etc. The show was a little slow in season two but I don't believe anyone can call it that this season. It's great. Boston Legal is probably the funniest show on tv right now, but primarily during the "Denny Crane" (William Shatner) scenes. I never liked Shatner before (please Trekkies don't kill me but I didn't), but he is absolutely hilarious on this show. James Spader is pretty great too. His summations at the end of every trial are usually direct political statements and I always have hopes that they'll stir up some of the apathetic people in this country.

Now... I tag Sue, Nigel, Jackson, and Duncan. (I'd like to tag some of my other friends but they don't have blogs - hint, hint.)

Read Richard's list