Orgasm Control Part One: Directed Masturbation

A few weeks ago in TCOD I conducted what I dubbed "The Orgasm Control Experience". I offered those interested the opportunity to have their orgasms controlled for a short period of time. Several stepped forward, some publicly, some privately, to express eagerness to participate.

Over the years I've observed how closely tied orgasm denial was to submissiveness for many men. Quite often if you tell a submissive man he may not release and tease him a bit, you'll have his complete attention. After a few days of denial, I've usually seen a sharp increase attentiveness and obedience. It's amazing what some men will happily do when in this state ;)

When I planned this experience I obviously always intended to include a period of denial, but I found myself wondering what would happen if I initially directed a period of daily masturbation. I don't remember reading or hearing much if anything on this topic, though I've used this privately on a number of occasions. Since it didn't seem that people commonly think of directed masturbation when orgasm control is mentioned (at least among those that I know), I wondered how it would be perceived by the participants. Would directed masturbation "feel like" control as intensely as denial? Would they recognize that the act itself didn't matter?

The initial reaction was interesting. Several wrote me privately asking if I really intended for them to masturbate at least once daily. Always in the past whenever I'd done anything with orgasm control, it had been denial. "Just do it", I replied. "It's all about your obedience, not what you do."

"But I don't think I'll feel controlled", was a common concern.

I had to smile every time I read their words. "Just wait - you'll see. Before you masturbate, spend a few moments thinking about my control. Remember you're masturbating for me - because I told you to and because you're so eager to submit to my request."

A couple of fellows spoke up offering a different perspective. "It's always been a fantasy to have a powerful woman tell me to masturbate for her." I quite liked that as I have a particular fondness for watching a man follow my commands to touch, tease, and release (smiles - or, depending on my mood, to stop when he is right on the edge.)

Either way, I was in control. I said when. I said if. Next time, I may say "where". (I can easily imagine how a few just felt their breath catch - you never know what I'll do to you, do you? ;)

Their surrender excited me a great deal, touching both the Domme and the teacher in me. I quite liked the thought of all those fellas scattered around the world masturbating when I said, not touching when I wouldn't permit it - whatever I decided to do. Some understood from the beginning while others comprehended more as a few days passed. By the third day, most were so eager that I'd often laugh aloud in delight just thinking about it.

One fellow remarked, "I like knowing I've done something that excites a woman like you. I now feel like the biggest stud in the world. ;-) I only started this experience yesterday but I can already strongly feel your control. It was a strange feeling to be told to masturbate by a woman because I have only had women tell me not to masturbate because they felt "cheated" sexually if I did."

Still another shared, "You know, I don't think ever in my life I've been told to masturbate before. Oh, did I ever feel your control! It has really had me quite focused on your control because that's where all the arousal was coming from." After being directed to do something special for a lady in his life - something he usually did not at all like to do - he added, "I experience emotional pleasure and arousal from obeying your directives. Granted that sexual instructions are likely to be highly charged, but it is the submission aspect that provides that special wonderful satiation. That must be why cleaning toilets was a pleasant and pleasurable task for me (who knew?)."

I know, you're probably thinking, "Tough job getting men excited about masturbation", but through comments like the one above I could see many of their attitudes changing. Pete Mitchell's email below offers some insight into how his particular attitude changed at the first part of this experience and is reflective of many of the comments I received.


As you’ve requested, I have been looking through the various emails I sent while participating in the “Orgasm Control Experience" you so generously created for us several weeks ago. While they were written separately on different days, reviewing them all together now, as more of a story line, has proven to be an interesting experience in and of itself.

But you already knew that when you requested this of me, didn’t you?

I hope that by organizing the separate “reports” this way, you and others will see what I’ve seen. That, as the Experience progresses, it becomes less of about me and a physical adventure focused on sexual gratification through hypnosis, and more about what I imagine you’ve seen it as all along: a demonstration of control, and a way for me to learn more about what is really taking place: the willing transfer of control from a submissive to a dominant woman.

With that backdrop, I humbly present my thoughts to you:

Email #1 Prologue: Although I have listened to your mp3’s for several years, this is my first participation in an “Experience.” I really didn’t expect a whole lot of difference from the mp3’s. I was wrong. The first indication I was in for something different was my response to the directive to masturbate daily, if possible. This was written several days into the Experience.

Email #1

My apologies for not “reporting in” earlier ma’am… it’s been a hectic week. But in the midst of it all, I knew I had to make some things to do today.

Most of it was things at work… got ‘em done.

Checking the group page before leaving the center… make sure I got my instructions right. A new post… no more masturbating. “Yes, ma’am” goes through my mind before I even form a conscious thought. Wow... she's good. I've found time for masturbation every day since she gave her instructions, and it somehow it felt even more intense knowing she'd told me to do it.

Still sweaty, standing at the counter in a Wal-Mart fabric section with a spool of ¼ inch red ribbon, waiting for the clerk to finish with two customers. All three eye me with a “what is he doing here” look. My mind dares them to ask what I’m doing. None of them do, and I find myself disappointed. I get my ribbon. And smile… obedience feels good… a mental laugh… ladies, your jaws would drop if you only knew…

Home now, changing clothes, gotta get dressed up for a social event. First things first… I tie my ribbon around my cock. I see myself in the mirror, in an act of submission… I wish she could see me, I tell myself she would smile, and I feel myself getting hard. Of course I am, somehow I know she would be pleased. I get dressed.

Walking around at the event. Another mental laugh… all these people around me, and none of them have a clue. They’re just doing what you’re supposed to do at a reception. I, on the other hand, am doing more. I wear a red ribbon for a Lady. Another smile.

Home in time to watch a football game.. First things first. I need to let this sweet, generous Lady know how much I felt her with me today. Today, I felt the strength and confidence a man needs to truly submit to a Lady. I thought I was already there, and now I know there is more. And it feels so good to know that. I can’t wait for what she asks of me next.

The sweet taste of submission, or perhaps more accurately, the sweet taste of confidence and strength needed to submit to a Lady, or maybe they're the same .... that's what I think I really tasted for the first time today.

- Pete Mitchell

To be continued...