What If....

I was reading Unspeakable Axe's blog earlier (his blog is interesting - take a peek if you have time). In one of his entries he posed some thought provoking questions to himself and of course, subsequently stimulated those same questions in the minds of many of his readers.

What if there’s a choice between being really kinky and being with someone? What if the choice was being submissive and alone or being vanilla and with someone you adore? What if the choice was to act vanilla and not be alone or be true to myself and risk always being alone?

Perhaps this isn't the best time for me to ponder question - nevertheless I did. To answer this hypothetically seems almost impossible, yet many people make real life decisions about these questions every day.

I'm lucky - I realize that. As a Domme, it's unlikely I would have to sacrifice one for the other, but... hypothetically what would happen if I met someone who seemed perfect for me in every way except that he hadn't a kinky bone in his body? (Is there a man without a kinky bone in his body? Another interesting question.) Would I pursue the relationship? Right now of course I probably wouldn't even notice the guy existed but under different circumstances - well, I just don't know. The kink isn't massively important to me. I can go the rest of my life without cock collars, orgasm control, and bondage. I really enjoy those things but I could live without them. What I can't imagine changing is the need to be in control of certain aspects of my life and his including the sexual aspect. I doubt I could change being persuasive even if I tried. It happens without my thinking.

Is being dominant who I am or how I am? Perhaps semantics, but there seems to be a small difference there. The first seems to denote no choice, the second seems to infer there is one. I tend to think it's the first since I've been a bit bossy since I was ... oh... about five or six. I doubt one can change a behavior of 40 years.

Then I think... what if I were a submissive man? Would I choose being alone over being in a vanilla relationship if I were as submissive as I am actually dominant? I think I could go without the kink, but kink seems to be really important to kinky guys. I don't think I'd want to be alone - that desire to be adored is too strong in me. Still - if I were a submissive guy, would that desire to be adored be that strong? I think so - I think that's a really strong desire in most people, but.. who knows? I think if I were a submissive man I'd have to at least be with a woman who was a bit bossy.

Well... there. Six paragraphs of rambling and nary a conclusion or profound statement made. Just thinking and taking you along for the ride :) I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject. If you're a blogger and you respond on your own blog, please let me know - I want to hear what you have to say.