And The Magic Number is.... Eight!

Sometimes, we're just tired. Of course this applies to everyone, but at this precise moment I'm referring to Dommes. Sometimes we're physically and mentally exhausted from all the different ways we're pulled throughout the day - kids, co-workers, bosses, friends, parents, and even our partners. In the real world, most Dommes are real women like everyone else. We're not always ready for hot dominant kinky sex 24/7, we're not always ready to flog men at a moment's notice (some of us are never ready for that), we're not even always ready to issue commands. I know the authors of the "real-life" articles you may have read on various sites profess otherwise, but a common-sensical look easily reveals the line between fantasy and reality if we care to examine things.

My intention is not to destroy the illusion. I'm sure there are many who like to think of Dommes as perfect, "on-all-the-time", whip-wielding Amazons. While I like to share the wonderfully sexy, kinky, exciting things that happen in my life as much as the next person, I think that it's important to occasionally share about surviving the tough times. If we persist in making D/s look perfect, then what happens to all those who are new and barely delving into all this kinky wonderfulness?

So for those who like me are imperfect with imperfect lives, who are tired and stressed quite often, and who do not always feel "on", I thought I'd occasionally share some ideas I have for what I call "Simple Dominance". As I've said many times before, dominance doesn't have to be difficult. For instance, consider how easily "eight" can become a magical number that stays on his mind more and more.

I'm not interested in long term chastity, but short term tease and denial is fun. Teasing him and denying him, mind you - not denying myself. I have a suggestion for a ritual that really hits the spot for those of a similar mind. (Rituals are important to submissives - it reminds them on a regular and consistent basis of the dominant's control and the submissive's surrender.) Consider how simple it would be for the Domme to set forth a directive that the submissive may only touch himself, may only release every 8th day unless told otherwise. He may not ask for release, may not ask permission to touch at any time. On the eighth day, he may only touch and release under the specific conditions she sets forth. The dominant on the other hand may use him at any time she likes, any way she likes - from tease, to denial, to delicious oral pleasure, to full on intercourse. She chooses - she's in control each and every day. If she's not up to playing, no worries, no pressures - he has his instructions. Every day at many times throughout the day, he'll be reminded of her control and his surrender and he'll be excited by this.

On day six, it is his responsibility to remind the Domme that day eight is only two days away. Of course, in order not to direct the Domme in any way and to insure he remembers that it's all her decision, he reminds her while kneeling, wearing only his collar - nothing else. She may smile and say nothing. Perhaps she'll extend his period of waiting to a time more to her convenience. Perhaps, she'll give him instructions for day eight. She could easily tease him about what she will do to and with him on day eight and allow him to anticipate that moment for the next two days. Perhaps she'll end the anticipation right at that moment, taking him then and there. Yum ;) The point is (getting back on track after being distracted with delicious thoughts..) is that he keeps track of the days (I'm pretty each of you fellas would be able to tell to the second how long it had been!!). At the same time she's reminded in a non-directive way without having to worry about keeping track of things and without having to worry about neglecting him.

Eight days of course is an arbitrary number. Perhaps it would be five or eleven or even twenty-nine. I like the thought of keeping it a number that is not a multiple of seven so it is more difficult for him to keep track of the date. The more often he thinks about it, the better. He'll be thinking of her control, her pleasure, his tease, his denial, and perhaps his eventual release. Any day is a magic number because the Domme chooses it. She has assumed control in a way that allows them both pleasurable anticipation. He looks forward to day eight and she look forward to day eight PLUS anything and everything that may come in between.