Mothers and Daughters

Image creator unknown

Earlier this morning I went for breakfast with my mom. She's a pretty cool lady for an almost 70 year old and I like hanging out with her. Even though I don't always see it, everyone says I am so like her - the good and the bad. Today one of our not so good traits almost caused us a bit of public embarrassment. Thankfully one of our other commonalities saved us.

We'd already finished our meal and were "arguing" about who was going to take care of the check. She wanted to and I wasn't prepared to let her. As we were exchanging silly reasons why each of us should pay, I noticed a couple of mid-fifties-looking men sitting not too far from us. Both were obviously quite amused by our debate.

As I stood up to settle the "dispute", I reached for my wallet. Umm.. no wallet. Why? Because I have a bad habit of leaving things like keys and wallets lying on my dressing table. Ah well, nothing to worry about. We were just teasing around and Mom, being the great Mom she is, always likes to do things for me. I knew she wouldn't mind paying.

She laughed as I confessed and happily reached for her wallet. Of course she had hers. She is meticulous about putting her things in their proper place and I often bemoan the fact that this is one of the few traits we do not share. Her laughter quickly ceased when she realized that she had no cash with her. Not a good thing as she is one of those from the older generation who doesn't carry credit or debit cards. Because she is almost always with Dad and he pays for everything since he's "the man" (ok, yet another difference between us) she doesn't usually carry much cash either but she does always have her "emergency $20" tucked away. Almost always. She had apparently spent her stash yesterday and had forgotten to replenish her funds.

Quickly we both scrambled to search through our purses hoping that for once one of us had brought our checkbooks. No. Sigh. Neither of us carry our checkbooks since hearing of a friend who had her purse stolen and had been required to pay a fortune in cancelled check fees.

As we pondered the possibilities of washing dishes as a trade-off for the bill, one of the gentlemen who had been eavesdropping stepped up and picked up the ticket before we realized what was happening. We listened in surprise as this stranger insisted upon rescuing two damsels in distress (his words, not mine). Despite our objections, he persisted. Before I could thank him, I watched as my mother reached out, rested her hand on the gentleman's forearm, looked up into his eyes, and smiled sweetly as she accepted his courtly offer. The moment made me smile because that same gesture is my natural form of non-verbal communication whenever I'm talking to a man that pleases me.

Throughout my life I have tried to absorb as much of her as is possible because I admire her so much. She's a very strong woman who always gets what she wants in the sweetest of ways. Whenever you're around her, you find yourself doing whatever you want because who could deny someone so kind and persuasive?

As I sit reading what I've written thus far and contemplating the need to make a point so I can close this post, I realize I don't really have a point. I just wanted to talk about her for a few minutes and in a small way offer loving thanks to her for being such a positive role model. She's a great mom and I'm so lucky to have been molded by her.

Latest Jib Jab Parody

What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

Sad and oh so true. (Made by the same guys who brought us "This Land" from the last US Presidential Election.)

Quote Me

In my oh so plentiful spare time I'm planning to expand my website to include select articles and blog entries written by others. Why try to say it myself if it has already been explained so well by some of you?

If you write publicly and are interested in sharing your material with the readers of my main website, please leave a "quote me" remark in the comment section of this post. I may quote an entire article (or articles) or I may only quote a pertinent section. I promise if I quote only a section I won't take your words out of context. With anything I quote I'll be certain to credit you and link back to your site. If you leave a blanket "it's ok to quote me" then I won't have to hunt you down to ask permission. That would help a lot :)

Last year I had about 130,000 visitors to my main site (excluding MWoW and this blog). Not a tremendous amount but this was with doing very little to the site. I have someone who has offered to help with the technical / googley aspect of promoting the site and I plan to add content to it on a regular basis. I'm thinking this will drive up the hits quite a bit so if you're listed, you should by default see hits to your blog or site as well.

Should I by some chance ever write something you'd like to quote, please feel free. I would ask that you include my "name" and a link to the original article/blog entry. In the past week or so I've seen myself quoted verbatim on a couple of blogs without anything that identified me as the author. While I'm flattered that someone wanted to quote me, I'd appreciate receiving credit. Vain, perhaps, but that's just me ;)

I'm Your Man

Last night I was lying in bed, deep in the throes of a delicious fantasy, when the phone rang. I answered, trying not to let my voice reflect what I'd been doing. Apparently I didn't mask things too well because my friend inquired. After I confessed he began singing this song to me in a very deep, Leonard Cohen sort of voice. Mmm.. nice surprise. Nice friend ;) He's so cool because we can tease like this and still keep things on the platonic level. I enjoy a man who can understand that a little flirting is just that, flirting - especially when he can reciprocate with the same intent.

Don't you think this is one of the sexiest songs you've ever heard?


---


Leonard Cohen - "I'm Your Man"

If you want a lover
Ill do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
Ill wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
Im your man

If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
And if you want a doctor
Ill examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
Climb inside
Or if you want to take me for a ride
You know you can
Im your man

Ah, the moons too bright
The chains too tight
The beast wont go to sleep
Ive been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or Id crawl to you baby
And Id fall at your feet
And Id howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And Id claw at your heart
And Id tear at your sheet
Id say please, please
Im your man

And if youve got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
Ill disappear for you
If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
Im your man

If you want a lover
Ill do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
Ill wear a mask for you

----

(When you watch this video you'll have to wait about 1 minute 45 seconds into the video to hear Cohen sing the song.)

Interview Me(me)

I like these meme things as they're a fun way to get to know more about people. Thanks to Tom, I've found another that interests me.

Here's how it works. (Oh, by the way my instructions are pretty much blatantly stolen from Tom Allen's blog - thank you Tom.)


The Rules:

• Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
• I will respond by asking you five personal questions, which I will leave for you in my Comments section.
• If I don’t know you that well, the questions will probably be easy and fun.
• If I think I know you pretty well, then expect the questions to be a little more personal.
• To answer them, you must repost the questions along with your answers in your journal/blog. If you don't have a journal/blog then you may answer the questions here in my comments section.
• Then, make sure to include this explanation of how it works, and offer to interview anyone else who asks.
  

Simple enough, yes?

Now, to Tom's questions for me. Interesting choice of questions, Tom :) Perhaps you'll allow me to interview you as well?..


Would you get cosmetic surgery, and why/why not?

I can honestly say I've never even thought about it. My nose is fine as far as I'm concerned, my lips are full, and my creator was more than generous when issuing breasts. I think I'd probably pass.


Would your outlook on D/s or sexuality be different if you were not a nurse/caregiver? How?

Interesting question. I'd have to say yes especially as most of my professional background is in psychiatric nursing/therapy . What really turns me on about much of sex and D/s is the mental aspect. Sure the physical is mm mm good even when I am not thinking at all, but I like toying with his mind, conditioning him to respond certain ways, and watching for the verbal and behavioral clues to what's going on inside his mind. Also, if it were not for my education and my career experience, I'm not sure I would have truly learned to appreciate the power of words and their impact of sex and D/s. Since I have, I'm often very selective in what I say and how (tone and inflection) that I say it. With regard to hypno D/s and erotic hypnosis, I'm almost certain I would have never have opened my mind to learning more about it had I not had this particular career background.

Aside for the psych aspect of it all, I guess I am also more cautious than I would have been if I weren't a nurse. I'm more careful with most things I say and do because I realize how easy it would be to hurt him. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it keeps me from exploring areas that sound fun but seem a bit too close to the line between safe/unsafe.


You are transported to an area with no submissive men available. How do you amuse yourself with the vanillas?

I can't imagine that I'd really be all that different than I am when I meet submissive men. Since my dominance style is a bit less "out there" than some, I don't really know that they would realize they were being dominated until it was too late... I save the cuffs and cock whips until after they are appropriately seduced, trained, and begging for it ;)


What is your sex life going to be like in fifteen years?

Just like it is right now. Obviously we'll adjust if our bodies don't cooperate as well as they do today, but otherwise I can't see my interest waning in the slightest. I like sex - a lot. I like being playful and doing exciting things. I'm imaginative. I think I can still stir up enough enthusiasm (both in him and me) when I'm 60.


Boxers or briefs? And thongs or french cuts?

For him, boxer briefs. Sometimes. Sometimes nothing at all. For me, I often don't wear any at all. When I do, french cut feels better but thongs have a little more eye appeal. It's funny. As a younger women I spent so much money looking for underwear that didn't ride up on me and now, as a woman much more comfortable with my body and my sexuality, I find myself paying $30 or more for a whisp of material designed to fit right in the spot I previously avoided. Go figure ;)

Girls On Film - Duran Duran

Last one for tonight. (This videos brought to you courtesy of Rook's misspent youth ;)

Watch for the evil cowgirl scene...

Golden Earring - Twilight zone

Interesting?

(Blame Rook for all of these - he's telling me about them.)

Listen Closely...

Full of luscious double entendres..

--------

Deep Purple

Knocking At Your Backdoor

Sweet Lucy was a dancer
But none of us would chance her
Because she was a Samurai
She made electric shadows
Beyond our fingertips
And none of us could reach that high
She came on like a teaser
I had to touch and please her
Enjoy a little paradise
The log was in my pocket
When Lucy met the Rockett
And she never knew the reason why

I can't deny it
With that smile on her face
It's not the kill
It's the thrill of the chase

Feel it coming
It's knocking at the door
You know it's no good running
It's not against the law
The point of no return
And now you know the score
And now you're learning
What's knockin' at your back door

Sweet Nancy was so fancy
To get into her pantry
Had to be the aristocracy
The members that she toyed with
At her city club
Were something in diplomacy
So we put her on the hit list
Of a common cunning linguist
A master of many tongues
And now she eases gently
From her Austin to her Bentley
Suddenly she feels so young

It Only Takes a Moment...

Image creator unknown.
Thanks to my friend Dan for sending me the image.

Don't you hate it when you spend an hour or more composing an entry only to have a computer snafu rob you of your work? Grr. Now I'm completely in a grouch and worse than that, I don't remember everything I so brillantly said in the post that disappeared ;)

Ah well. I did want to share a few quotes with you. I was thinking how wonderful it is when I receive little things like these (and especially words of his own) via text, email, voicemail, or in a handwritten note.... thoughts that caress the area of my mind that knows he adores me. I suspect most enjoy those sorts of things.

It only takes a moment to communicate a snippet of love, appreciation, or desire. Why don't we seize this opportunity more often?

Heh. Had to stop writing long enough to deliver a message. "I adore you my sexy, sexy toy. Controlling you, teasing you, using you - it all excites me so. " Not as poetic as some of the quotes below, but I'm thinking it will work well for him ;)


"Seduce my mind and you can have my body,
Find my soul and I'm yours forever."
- Author Unknown

"Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough."
- G. Moore

"I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that.
I could die for you."
- John Keats

"Your voice makes me tremble inside
And your smile is an invitation
For my imagination to go wild."
- Author Unknown

"I sought for Love
But Love ran away from me.
I sought my Soul
But my Soul I couldn't see.
Then I sought You,
And I found all three."
- Author Unknown

"Everything you are
Everything you'll be
Touches the current of love
So deep in me
Every sigh in the night
Every tear that you cry
Seduces me."
- Celine Dion

"If you want to kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
(on your knees boy)"
- U2


"Sometimes Im mesmerised
By thoughts of love flowing on and on
Dont wait dont hesitate
To spend my life with you

All I want to do
I start to breathe
As I kneel at your feet ( all I want to do)
I feel complete
As I kneel at your feet ( all I want to do)
I start to breathe
As I kneel at your feet"
- Belinda Carlisle


Only a few. I'm counting on you to add to my list.

Email Notifications

(I'm going to repost this about once a week to catch new readers. If you've already seen this, check below as there are probably new entries since the last time you were here.)

Desire to be notified when new posts are added to my blog? Click the photo above and send an email to LadyJulia at gmail dot com with the subject line "add me please". (This is something I'm just trying out so we'll see how it works.)

Eroti-ca

The other day I posted the lyrics to this song. I had not ever seen the music video, but Juergen found it on YouTube. Thanks Juergen :)

I'm curious. How many of you find this music video to be appealing? Does Madonna's "in your face" sort of sexuality turn you on?

Quiet Offerings

Image created by Don Seegmiller

Nestled in yesterday's comments were two very lovely poems. I wanted to reprint these gifts here so that perhaps some would not overlook them. Thank you both.

~~~~~~

muscles are taut
commands not fought
dream becomes reality
I am blind
when I believe I can see
She is my pleasure
and my misery
I am lost forever
in trance and severed
from all I know

by anonymous author

~~~~~~


She keeps my dream

once dormant
her glory rekindled

i ask for love
cherish me

no difference
my pain or your glory

own me , use me
but please Lady

value my suffering bent
to your will enchanted

your beauty lured
your mind devised

our souls met
around my surrender
glory accrues to you

I, bask in it, edified.

forever, you are precious.


Please note...dedicated to Lady Julia, and also Ms Catwoman and slave kal.

And to special And precious wife, who knows of my desires to Dom and submit, and cares not at all to indulge them, but loves me fiercely in spite of them!

by Oldbear

Honorifics

Image creator unknown

Words are powerful. We may not all consciously recognize this fact but it's true nonetheless. If it wasn't then advertising, marketing, and PR companies wouldn't rake in billions each year choosing just the right words to elicit the targeted responses their employers seek. Because of my background in the psychiatric field and especially because of my work with hypnosis, I have a special interest in the power of words.

Lately I've been thinking a little about honorifics in particular. Mistress, Ma'am, Master, Lord, Sir, Lady - there are many. Some seem to truly enjoy their use while others scoff and infer that only the arrogant and misinformed are drawn to them. My thoughts on their general use lie, as with most things in life, under the category of "whatever works best for you".

Before I delve into why the use of honorifics is appealing to me under certain circumstances, allow me to offer a bit of background information. When I first began chatting in hypno D/s chat rooms, I selected the moniker of "Lady Julia". Primarily, as with most who choose a pseudonym, I wanted to preserve my privacy. While some may be comfortable using their true names online, I most decidedly am not. I am not ashamed of who I am, but I have parents and family who wouldn't understand my sexual proclivities in the slightest. Family interactions even in the best of families is not an easy thing, so I say why make it worse? Also, there are some very real nuts out there. (I know, I know - hardly a shocking statement.) I figured why make it easier for them to find me? Still an alias is something many people on line choose to affect. This doesn't explain my choice of "Lady" Julia, something many consider a demand for the use of an honorific.

If you've never chatted online using a female ID or if there are very few people online who know you, you probably can't completely identify with my reasoning. Not only am I a female with an online presence, but many, many people know of me. They've heard my voice, they're read my words. They feel as if they actually know me while they remain behind this very comfortable shroud of anonymity. This imbalance often leads many to feel safe in saying whatever they want whenever they want. Additionally, some seem to feel being a Domme is akin to being someone who is slutty. Combined, this has left me the target of some very rude, very vulgar comments. I chose the "Lady" part of my online persona not as an honorific or to infer that I was above others but to hopefully remind them that I am indeed a Lady and to kindly treat me with the same amount of respect with which I try to treat everyone.

(To round out the rest of that story, the "Julia" part of the nickname was chosen because it was the name of a character on a TV show I was watching the night I needed to choose my "mask". It sounded classy and sexy at the same time and I liked that. It's been quite some time since I've frequented chat rooms - I just don't have the time. Still, having chosen that particular ID and becoming known by it, it's mine to live with now for as long as I have any sort of web presence.)

So that's the take on what my online "honorific" type of name means. It isn't/wasn't designed to be any sort of honorific, it was a protective device. It didn't accomplish part of the goal - men still at times say some pretty unbelievable things to me, but it does serve the function of shielding my privacy a little.

As for the use of honorifics in my personal life, I admit that I do have a deep fondness for hearing my fella addressing me as "Mistress". It's not usually a term spoken by either of us unless during intimate times or during those times when I've pushed one of his submissive buttons. The rest of the time he simply calls me by name. During intimate moments "Mistress" is often a term of affection, just like darling, honey, sweetie, etc. and it also serves as a verbal reinforcer (along with my demeanor) that I'm in charge sexually.

Additionally, part of the source for the power stemming from the use of this word pre-dates our relationship. Because of information presented online and through TV shows and movies, he (like many submissive men) has been conditioned to associate the word "Mistress" with power, control, sexuality, and ownership. This has left the term to function as a springboard to a more submissive plane in his mind, whether he uses it or whether he hears me say it.

As for me, hearing him call me "Mistress" or referring to myself as such often makes me tremble slightly and almost always arouses me. I suppose this is one of the primary reasons I don't like just anyone using that phrase with me - it's something that is very intimate. I think my reaction to the word probably stems from reasons quite similar to his. The term was among the first I heard used when I began reading more about female dominance and male submission. So, even before I first heard the term uttered in reference to me, I had some preconceived notions about the power and sexuality of the word. Since then during some very intimate times, times in which I felt that delicious sense of sexy control, I've heard him moan or whisper "my Mistress". No wonder I tingle all over and often feel my body respond when I hear that!

I can't close a post about honorifics without momentarily mentioning those delicious submissivey sort of terms. Just as the word "Mistress" works so well for us when referring to me, there are expressions that work very well when I'm referring to him. I've mentioned before that verbal assertions of control are important to many submissives. The same can be said for many when hearing phrases like pet, toy, boy, slave, submissive, fuck toy, slut, bitch, etc. I don't use the words slut or bitch but that's our personal preference. Some of the other terms tease out arousal at times and a deepening of submissive feelings during others. Sometimes both. It depends on the situation and the tone and inflection of my voice.

All in all, we could interact without the use of any of these words. We can and do use our names with the same degree of love, lust, respect, control and/or surrender. These terms just add a splash of variety while achieving the same response.

Terrific Tush Tuesday

Image by Jubie

Image Creator Unknown

Can't believe I almost let Terrific Tush Tuesday pass by without notice!

Monday This and That

Even though somewhat pressured my weekend was nice. Bill had someone open the pool for us and I spent part of yesterday floating around thinking about a variety of things and trying to chill out a bit.

Now that the pool is open and the bathing suit will likely be donned on a daily basis, I started thinking about my current workout routine. There is none ;) I've been so busy taking care of Bill and helping my parents that I have neglected to take care of me in many ways and this is definitely one. I get plenty of exercise, but not enough aerobic exercise (especially over this past winter). So, I called today to check out my options for a gym and I found a place and a package that seems to fit me. I've been to this particular gym before on a guest pass and I know it's a well equipped, well run place. Tomorrow I'll sign up and begin using their indoor walking area to try to work out my knee some. When I'm ready, they have people who offer advice on setting up routines and they tell me they often include instruction on how to incorporate using home workout equipment (including pools) into the overall routine. This way on days I can't make it to the gym I won't simply neglect my workout entirely.

Speaking of tomorrow and the rest of the week, Bill had chemo today and my Dad's is tomorrow. Life will be busy for the next few days so I won't be online much and when I am, it will probably only be to post here. If you've emailed me, be patient and I'll get back to you soon.

Last One For A While, Promise

Geico has a series of commercials featuring celebrity "interpreters". This is a spoof from one of those commercials.

Pity King George hasn't had an interpreter all along..

Retro... My Favorite Commercial

Ok, I have to disagree with the "I don't want you to be no slave" part.

Ladies, remember this commercial?

Thinking Blogger

Congratulations, you've won a ...


Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

I've been tagged by Tom Allen of The Edge of Vanilla as a blogger that makes him think. Of all the nice compliments that I've received about my blog, this is pretty much the piece de resistance. While there are many bloggers with whom my views differ and certainly many do not agree with mine, as long as we make one another think I believe we've really accomplished something.

So, thanks Tom and right back atcha. You would have definitely made my list had you not tagged me first. What I want to know is, how did you narrow it down to five? All of the blogs I read make me think and I deeply appreciate the authors' open and honest efforts. Kudos to each!

In the spirit of the meme, I'll make an effort to select my top five..

1. Susan from Suzywearsthepants. Susan is witty, charming, and such a talented writer. I'd read her blog for pure enjoyment alone, but she also offers delightful insight into what it's like to be in a healthy, happy, loving, sexy relationship in which there's just the right touch of FemDom play for them. So many dream of such a relationship and Susan helps the reader hold on to the belief that it can happen. What a gift.

2. Richard from Down On My Knees. Wow, it's hard to find the words to do justice to Richard. He and his Alexandra have such a wonderfully loving kinky relationship. On Richard's blog the reader will find a plethora of well written, thought provoking articles written from the perspective of a man who has long held and explored his kinks. I find his insight invaluable.

3. Goddess V and Veezknight from Wife-Led Marriage. Wise. I suppose that is the first word that springs to mind when reading their blog. They don't write often, but when they do it is always something worth reading.

4. Destiny and chance from Destiny and Her Pet Chance. Often when I read their blog, their loving, open and honest words bring tears to my eyes. If ever there was a poster couple for loving D/s it would have to be these two. They're so incredibly creative with their writing, their video clips, and their photos but even moreso with the way they interact. If I ever wanted to demonstrate to someone that BDSM activities could occur in a loving manner, I'd direct them to this blog (and to Richard's).

5. Brian David Phillips from Life of Brian. If you ever have a question about hypnosis, whether erotic or therapeutic, Brian is the guy to ask. He has a rich background in training and practice and is able to disseminate that information via his blog and his YahooGroup in such a clear, concise manner that everyone interested can understand.

The Way Some Guys View The FemDom World

Image Creator Unknown

"Welcome to McDommalds, may I take your order?"

"Yes, uh, I'd like a Domme please."

"A Domme. Right, Sir. Is that a Domme with or without latex?"

"With, definitely. And, uh, I'd also like a happy meal toy. You can buy those without ordering the whole meal, right? I mean I don't want the meal. I just want the toy."

"Yes Sir you can buy the toys separately. Would you care for a whip or a cane?"

"A whip, definitely. Oh and I want a super-sized strap-on and that will be all."

"Very well Sir, please pull forward."

--

Every now and then frustration fuels the creative mind. Just venting :)

Bear Fight

Last one for tonight.

Old Levi's Button Fly Commercial

Funny Commercials

Then I got drawn into YouTube and found a few more. This Budweiser commercial couldn't be imbedded so you'll have to visit the link.

It's amazing at how one's sense of humor gets warped at 3am.

Firehouse Rodeo

My friend Art sent some videos for Bill's amusement and I thought I'd share the one above with you. It has some coarse language so FYI if you're watching with kids in the house. (It's not really as funny to me without the sound.)

Thursday This and That

The past couple of days have been a bit hectic so I haven't responded much to emails or group posts. Thankfully things seem to have settled down again and perhaps later tonight I'll have time to do some writing.

Speaking of writing... scoot closer to the monitor those of you who are my friends. I need a favor. Whenever I post a blog entry in which I make an obvious mistake (like writing "your" when I should be writing "you're" or when I leave out a word) please write me privately and let me know. Sometimes I get in such a hurry that I don't always proof my entries well. Don't worry, you won't offend me - you'll be helping me out as I truly hate looking illiterate :)

Tonight is Lost night at our house - yay. Bill and I have this ritual of ordering Chinese takeout, spending some time just talking about the last week's show and our pet theories on the plotline, and then watching the latest episode. Really not very exciting I know, but it's the one night of the week that we don't let anything intrude upon. Not illness, not family illness, not anything except a dire emergency. I think when you have a stress filled life (and who doesn't to some degree or another) that's really important.

Speaking of stress - if you find something online (a funny video, a joke, etc) that you think Bill might find amusing, please send it to me. Since he's not responding quite as well to the chemo as we had hoped, we're operating on the theory that laughter is the world's best medicine. I'd appreciate your help :)

More About Empowering Your Lady To Dominate

Image Creator Unknown
Thanks to my friend Pascal for editing and
improving my copy of the image

Two or three days ago I shared a few thoughts on "Empowering Your Lady to Lead". As a followup to that, I wanted to reference an article by Ms Rika entitled, "Tips For Enjoying D/s When You're Not a Dominatrix." I found this to be a very thought provoking, well written article and wanted to share it with those of you who were interested. One paragraph in particular stood out to me - a paragraph written to the wives/partners of men who wish to be dominated.

"You can't pretend it doesn't exist. It's not going to go away…if you don't handle it, it will fester and look for a release."

It sounds simple when you read it, but I think it's something that many haven't considered. Either that or perhaps they have hidden their head in the sand and refused to consider it. There are a large number of married (or in a committed relationship) men that contact me asking questions or seeking advice about D/s, BDSM, etc. Many of these men are seeking to be dominated in some fashion. Most of them don't want to cheat and most of them love their wives. But- most of them are unfulfilled and believe they have no choice but to explore outside their relationships because their wives are unwilling to even discuss domination in any form. Putting aside whatever moral issues some may have with that, the truth remains - many are searching, reaching out to find what they need. Instead of ignoring the reality, perhaps it's time to find a palatable way to compromise? I'm certainly not suggesting that a woman feel forced to become something that she clearly is not. I'm merely suggesting that perhaps if viewed from a slightly more vanilla point of view as suggested by Ms Rika, then some couples may find they are able to find a happy medium between what he wants and what she feels she is able and willing to do.

Of course, as I've said before, I'm not an expert on this subject. I'm just tossing out food for thought. There's also a discussion on this topic on the FetishLore.com forum that offers varying points of view (pro and con) on this subject.

Tom's Friend Jerry

Tom Allen shared this on FetishLore.com and I thought it funny (and cringe-worthy).

That reminds me of my friend Jerry. He went to the doctor suffering from severe headaches... After a thorough examination, the doctor turned to him and said "Jerry the good news is I can cure your head aches, the bad news is that it will require castration! You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, which in turn creates these serious headaches you've been experiencing. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Jerry was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to have the op.

When he eventually left hospital, he was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt not to have a headache for the first time in 20 years.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a fresh start & live a new life. Seeing a mens clothing store, he thought a new suit would be the perfect thing to mark this new beginning.

He entered the shop and told the salesman "I'd like a new suit please"

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said "Lets see...size 44 long?"

"Thats right, how did you know?" said Jerry laughing

"I've been in the business 60 years!" replied the tailor

Jerry tried on the suit, which fitted like a glove.

As he admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked "How about a new shirt as well?" He looked at Jerry again and said "34 sleeve and 16 1/2 neck?"

Once again Jerry was surprised..."Thats right, how did you know?"

"Like I said...60 years in the business!"

He tried on the new shirt, a perfect fit. As he adjusted the collar, the salesman asked "How about new shoes?"

Jerry was enjoying this experience, so thought, why not?

So the salesman eyed Jerry's feet..."Lets see...size 9 1/2 wide?"

Again Jerry was amazed "How did you know?"

"Well young fella, I've been in the business long enough to know these things!"

Jerry tried on the shoes and found they fitted perfectly. As he strolled around the shop the salesman asked "So that only leaves the new underwear...how about it?"

Jerry agreed, to carry on....a complete new me, he thought.

The salesman stepped back, eyed Jerry's waist & said "Let's see....size 36?"

"Ah ha! Wrong there, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old!"

The salesman shook his head, "There's no way I'm ever wrong, you can't wear a size 34"

"Oh yes I can" replied Jerry, "and have been most of my life!"

"I don't understand", said the tailor, "By my reckoning, a size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."


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If you haven't already, check out FetishLore.com. They're doing a nice job there and offering a great deal of interesting insight into D/s, fetish, and more.

Erotica

Image by Jack Vettriano

In a comment on my post, Terrific Tush Tuesday and Other Stuff, TVH posted the lyrics for "Where Evil Grows". Loved that TVH and yes, perhaps it was apropos ;)

He reminded me of a song I heard earlier by Madonna. For fairly obvious reasons I really like this song :)

Erotica, romance (repeat)
My name is dita
Ill be your mistress tonight
Id like to put you in a trance

If I take you from behind
Push myself into your mind
When you least expect it
Will you try and reject it
If Im in charge and I treat you like a child
Will you let yourself go wild
Let my mouth go where it wants to

Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
Ill give you love, Ill hit you like a truck
Ill give you love, Ill teach you how to ...

Id like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body (repeat twice)
Erotic, erotic

Once you put your hand in the flame
You can never be the same
Theres a certain satisfaction
In a little bit of pain
I can see you understand
I can tell that youre the same
If youre afraid, well rise above
I only hurt the ones I love

Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
Ill give you love, Ill hit you like a truck
Ill give you love, Ill teach you how to ...

Id like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body (repeat twice)
Erotic, erotic

Erotica, romance
Id like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body

I dont think you know what pain is
I dont think youve gone that way
I could bring you so much pleasure
Ill come to you when you say
I know you want me
Im not gonna hurt you
Im not gonna hurt you, just close your eyes

Erotic, erotic (repeat several times)
Put your hands all over my body
All over me, all over me

Erotica, [give it up, give it up] romance
Id like to put you in a trance
Erotica, [give it up, give it up] romance
I like to do a different kind of
Erotica, [give it up, give it up] romance
Id like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body

Only the one that hurts you can make you feel better
Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away

Eroti - ca

Empowering Your Lady To Lead

If you're a man who is desirous of empowering your partner to lead but are not certain how to broach the subject, then pop over to Mrs. Claudia's blog and read her very well written article, "How to Approach Your Wife About D/s".

As she states, this information is strictly her opinion. There's no perfect way to introduce this subject to a spouse. Her article is designed to offer you insight into what worked (and didn't work) for she and her husband. I thought she did a wonderful job, but like her, I'm not an expert in introducing D/s to a spouse. Certainly what she said rang home with me.

We were discussing this subject in my Yahoo Group this week and I tossed out a few things to consider when in this situation. Again, just my thoughts.

• Being thoughtful and less selfish is the best way to start. Everyone wants to feel special. For many women, attention and thoughtful actions and comments is one very good way to help them feel special. Once a woman feels special to her man, then she is more inclined to be open to leading or dominating.
• She needs to feel sexy. Maybe not to the whole world, but to her man she is hot hot hot. The sexier she feels, the sexier she'll behave.
• She needs to feel as if *she* is what is most important, not the sex or your kink. Sex and kink are good but they can't be more important than your lady.
• It's about her, not about the toys. If she's sexy "when she uses x", it's not her that's sexy - it's the toy. The toys are the icing on an already perfectly delicious cake.
• She needs to feel it is ok not do this perfectly. (Especially for someone new to this).
• She needs to trust that you will tell her what you feel about what's happening as you each begin to explore.
• She needs to know you think it's perfectly natural for a woman to lead. Women do lead all the time in relationships - we all know it, however women are often taught not to be overt about it. She needs to know being overt with her control is ok.
• She needs to know you don't expect her to take control 100 percent of the time. If she wants to, great, but taking control is a big responsibility and in spite of what many say, it can be a lot of work. She needs to know you'll be ok with what level of control you receive until (and only if) she wants to take more control. The fastest way to make a woman say "no way" to dominating is to push her.

Obviously there's no one set of things that will work for every woman, so if you're considering broaching this subject with your partner, use common sense and use what you already know about her.

Terrific Tush Tuesday and Other Stuff

Image by Jubie

Image by Jack Vettriano

There.. a little something for everyone. Yum ;) I am, by the way, waiting for a tush picture from one of my friends. To save him total embarrassment, I won't call his name - but you know who you are. Now how long has it been that you've been promising me a photo of that very nice tush of yours? ;)

It's been a pretty busy day today so my thoughts are a bit fragmented (you may be saying, so what's new with that, Lady J? If so, mark down two swats on your "things I should be spanked for" list ;) Again - you know who you are.. Spanking lists are fun, aren't they? You never know when the licks will come and that's part of the deliciousness...

My new phone arrived today. See what happens when I deal with male customer service people? Next day service at no charge - yum ;) It's a wonderfully complicated phone that apparently would have been quite expensive had I paid full price. Even though I'm sure I won't use all the features it's fun to know they're there (capability of 10 IM conversations at once... who in the heck can do that even if the phone will accommodate it??)

I've updated my "blogs I read list" a couple of times over the past several days so take a look. Among those I've added is Myle's Evil Torturing Angel, Arafinwe's Blog, and maymay's Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed. If I've already told you about the last two, just ignore me ;) There may be others I've added and neglected to mention so peruse the list slowly. There's lots of good reading there.

More later.. I have lots more to say especially about this new evil side of me that seems to be emerging. It's intriguing me. Yes, that's right - I said evil.. but only in the very best way to be evil ;)

I Love Men

I love men. They're so much easier to deal with than women in most situations. (Translate this as "I love men - they let me have my way far more often than women do".)

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a terror with electronic things - especially phones and computers. Over the years I've dropped and destroyed three notebook computers and three cell phones. The most recent article sacrificed to my clumsiness is my cell phone. (Heads up to those who have my number - I can't answer just now ;)

Earlier today I called my cell phone carrier and asked the customer service rep (female) what options I had for replacing my phone. To say she was snippy would be accurate, but I admit that I was less tolerant that usual to snippiness because she informed me that my only option was going to a local cell phone store and spending an exorbitant amount of money to purchase a new phone. When I (ok not as tactfully as I might have but certainly not obnoxiously) expressed my dismay at the situation she raised her voice and began to tell me off.

As you may imagine, I was not impressed.

As soon as her tirade ended I quietly requested to speak to her supervisor. A very pleasant voiced gentleman came on the line about ten minutes later and sat patiently while I explained my situation. This wasn't about the cell phone any more and he knew that. He very nicely agreed to address the problem with the employee, assuring me that yes indeed there was a recording of the conversation (hmm, come to think of it, can they record me without informing me?) and that after listening he would know exactly how to deal with the situation. By the end of my call he'd agreed to send a new phone for half the price it would have cost in the store, and waived the activation and shipping fees.

I was much happier. Any time I save $115 I am happy. More than that, I actually felt by everything he said that he would really address the issue with the rude employee.

Perhaps the situation would have been resolved in the same manner had the supervisor been a woman, but I thought to myself - take no more chances. From now on when I need customer service or tech support from a company, I'll just hang up and call back til a man answers the phone ;)

silhouette

quiet lane unwinding
footsteps on the breeze
gentle leafy rustle
feelings of sweet ease

mind begins to wander
rosy cheeks aglow
drawing ever closer
cottage there below

candles softly flicker
silhouettes and lace
heartbeat getting quicker
craving her embrace

perfume at the doorway
parted lips within
anxious and excited
finger touches chin

rushing close together
eager hungry kiss
falling by the fire
all consuming bliss

- TVH

Perhaps Chivalry Isn't Dead

Last night Bill and I decided at the last moment to see a movie (Premonition with Sandra Bullock and Julian McMahon). When we arrived at the theater I thought hmm, even though Bill is having to park in the back 40, I think I can walk all that way without too much difficulty (I fell and hurt my knee 3-4 weeks ago and am still having some problems with it). I neglected to take into consideration the length of time we'd have to stand waiting in line, and the flight of stairs up, then half a stadium flight down to our seats. Right before I reached my seat an intense pain shot through my knee and remained as a sort of dull roar throughout the entire movie.

After the movie, Bill left to go pull the truck closer to the door and I stood to make my way out. The moment I stood tears began rolling down my cheeks. I was so embarassed but even more than that, I was unreasonably panicked. Just then a big tall fella tapped me on the shoulder and asked what was wrong. I sniffled (how Domme-like) and explained. He said (and I am not exaggerating), "Aw shucks Ma'am, that's not a problem!" and promptly scooped me up and carried me out of the theater.

We hear so often of people who walk right by those in distress and don't attempt to help. Here in Mayberry that doesn't seem to be the case and for that I'm so appreciative. I know he'll never read this, but I just wanted to do something to acknowledge this knight in shining armor. He certainly saved me last night :)

Memory Lane - Welcome Home My Love

Several years ago I had a torrid relationship with an Englishman. We met online as pen pals and after many email exchanges and phone conversations found that we'd become quite enamoured of one another. Because he had an internet type of business, he could work anywhere. Since he wasn't a citizen here, he was forced to divide his time between England and the States. Three months here, three months there, and so on. For three months life was heavenly, for three months it was as if time crawled and life was one long angonizing tease. So the cycle would continue.

Our relationship was ... intense. That's the only word that I can think of that comes close to describing the fire that burned between us. At the time, my only concept of D/s were those whip wielding leather clad Dominatrixes - something I knew I certainly was not. Yet.. he was very laid back, I.. well I was quite adventurous and a bit demanding to put it mildly. I loved catching him off guard, controlling his excitement, and knowing that I could quite literally get him to do anything I wanted.

On the day of his first return trip, I was excited on so many levels. Three months, after all, is a long time to ache for the touch of one's lover. I decided I would make his welcome home as exciting as possible so I drove to the airport and after reaching the area where he'd disembark from the plane, I stepped into the restroom and slipped out of the dress I was wearing. Underneath lay a body covered only by a black lace bra, black lace panties, black garters and stockings, and 4" black pumps. I slipped my dress down inside a shopping bag and donned a long brown coat - carefully holding it closed to shield my scantily clad body.

I stood waiting for him to arrive, wondering how he would react since in the past he'd been a bit reserved in public. Soon they announced the arrival of his flight. I scanned the faces of each person stepping off the plane, aching to see his face. There he was! My heart almost stopped. Oh how I adored this man.

His smile was a mile wide as he strode quickly to me, but it faded as I held my hand out and told him to wait. Puzzled, he followed my direction - moving as instructed to stand with his back against a solid wall in the airport hallway.

I stood before him and slowly pulled my coat open. His eyes widened in surprise, quickly glancing around to determine if anyone else could see his lady. Satisfied they could not, he smile and whispered "God you are wicked", all the while allowing his eyes to rove over my familiar curves. Stepping forward I pressed against him, cradling his face in mine, lips brushing his while whispering the words I'd been waiting three months to say.

"Welcome home, my love."

He moaned and slipped his hands inside my coat, caressing my curves for a few moments before realizing where we were.

"How far away is that bloody hotel?" he growled.

I smiled to myself as I led the way, wondering how he would feel about some of the "activities" I had planned...

----

Thanks to my very special friend for sharing the above photo. You are a wonderful photographer and I am so pleased that you would allow me to use your work here on my blog.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

You...

I know from my site monitor that there are a number of people who read my blog on a regular basis. You're learning all about me but I know nothing about most of you. So.. it's your turn to open up just a tiny bit...

If you read my blog on a fairly regular basis, I'd like for you to leave a comment. You don't have to say much - just your blogger ID or some type of nickname or other ID that I can associate with you. (Perhaps you don't want to use your real first name so pick something that sounds good.)

Other things you might tell me:

• Do you have a blog or website I might enjoy?
• Where in the world are you? (country is fine)
• Your age (decade is fine - 30s, 40s, etc)
• What brings you here?
• Your favorite quote.
• Anything else you'd like to share..

For some of you this might be a little difficult and I understand that, but hey... I reach out to touch you with my thoughts on a daily basis. I'm sure you won't mind at least saying hi, will you? Even if you know that I know you read.. I still want to hear from you.

Older Blog Entries

I realized that I have somehow neglected to post the link to my older blog entries. Last summer I shifted to hosting my entries on my website, but there are still about 300 entries hosted on blogger and on another area of my site aside from this one. If you have an interest, those entries are still available.

The One

While going through old blog posts making some minor corrections I stumbled across this story and it made me smile.
----

I had an interesting conversation with the nicest man while I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting room a little earlier. Even though he looked to be pushing 80 he seemed spry both of body and mind. "I'm just here for my annual physical," he reassured me, tapping his chest. "My ticker's still as good as ever."

When I asked him to share with me his secret for a long, healthy life, he said, "You have to find the One like I did. The One that makes you light up like a Christmas tree when he walks in the room and who always keeps you on your toes. The One that loves you for all your imperfections not in spite of them."

"So how long were you married?" I asked him.

"Who me?" he asked. "I've never been married. I was telling you what you should do for a long life. Me, I couldn't walk around with a ball and chain with a mouth telling me what to do all the time." With that he winked.

I must admit I was confused until the visitor's restroom door opened out into the waiting room and a tiny lady of about the same age walked out. I glanced at him and his face was alight.

"George you scalawag, are you flirting again?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye. "Careful with this one, Missy. He's incorrigible." With that, she sat down and patted his hand.

He grumbled and muttered under his breath, all the time trying in vain not to smile. "Fifty-eight years this woman has followed me around, acting like she's my wife and ruining all my moves. She's a beauty though, ain't she?"

Clearly, he had found his One.

Friendship

"There isn’t much better in this life than finding a way to spend a few hours in conversation with people you respect and love. You have to carve this time out of your life because you aren’t really living without it." - Author Unknown

I've lost contact with a couple of friends recently. The first simply disappeared. No, not from the face of the earth, but from contact with me. I'm not sure what happened but I'm really saddened. We were really close or - at least.. that's what I thought.

The second is someone who made a conscious withdrawal of most communication because of things occurring in every day life. I very much appreciate the directness with which I was told this because I would have truly hated being left as I was with friend #1 wondering if my friend died, was seriously ill, or just really ticked off with me for some reason.

Some say you can't really be friends with someone you have never physically met. I find that to be a very narrow point of view. I've shared more with a couple of friends I've met online than I have with most people I see every day.

If you're reading this and you're my friend, I want you to know how important you are to me and how much I hope that you're always in my life in some capacity.

One of Those Died and Gone to Heaven Jokes

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines.

One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women.

Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines.

The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

--

Thanks Jake for sharing this with me :)

At the Asylum for the Hypnotically Insane

She always matched
the physical to the mental
and let them reinforce each other
to become elemental
and irresistable.
The blindfold was rewarded
with a caress of words
so that trance grew deeper.
Each restraint applied
had a matching trigger phrase
so that together they comprised
an increase beyond measure
in the sense of helplessness.
Her most erotic dominant kiss
was followed by a cruel gag,
both hypnotic and real,
before repetition upon repetition
of command upon command
took the mind away.
Beyond that I cannot say.
I am not well.
Do you think
She will visit me
today?

-(c) 2007, william the submissive poet

More About Lost - Spoiler

If you haven't seen last night's episode of Lost yet, stop reading now.

Seriously ;)

Better idea - I'll post the actual entry in the comments section so there's no risk of spoiling it for anyone.

Whispered Conversations

Whispered late night conversations. Talking some but listening more. Setting aside blame and guilt. Finding that place where our hearts touch again.

Happy once more.

I'm going to be away from the computer for a few days.

When Mistress Screws Up

In the world of fantasy and/or fabrication, a Domme never screws up. She always makes the right decisions and the submissive is always eager to accept these decisions with appropriate gratitude.

If only that were true. I realize it's not likely that you'll read this, but in the event you do - I'm so sorry. I hate it when I hurt anyone, but it kills me that I've hurt you.

Another Mesmerizing Women of the Web Update

I've done another site update for Mesmerizing Women of the Web. If your blog or site isn't linked and you would like to be, be sure and let me know.

Verbal Assertions of Control

I was thinking about something that Her Buddy wrote earlier today on his blog:

I asked her if I did good this weekend. She said she must not give me enough praise. I said that is not it, just for some reason, I like to hear her acknowledge what I have done. Just a reminder from her verbally goes a long way. She doesn't quite understand that yet. Not that I was a "good little boy" but that she appreciated that I tried to make sure she was in charge and that I was obedient to her wishes.

Everyone needs a bit of praise from time to time, but it took me a while in the beginning to realize just how much more intensely words of encouragement and appreciation mean to many submissive fellas. Even more than that, I think, is how much hearing the assertion of my control means.

"I really love controlling you in this way."

"It excites me so much when you ____ simply because I asked you to do it/required it of you", etc.

"I control you.. whenever and however I wish."

"It's so easy to have you do ____ because you're mine - mine to control in any way I see fit."

"You'll enjoy doing this for me, won't you? Because all the time you're doing it, you'll be feeling my control and you'll know that you're pleasing me.. yes, and pleasing me feels so very good."

For many these types of verbal assertions of control really seem to excite, motivate, and strengthen the bond between the Dom/me and the submissive.

Rook's particular hot button is for me to remind him that I saw him, decided I wanted him, and was able with almost no effort to seduce him into being mine to control. He loves knowing I took him - a man who did not identify himself with being submissive at all - and guided him to a place where he will now do anything I ask.*

For many utilizing verbal assertions of control won't be a natural thing. It wasn't for me, but the more I use them and take note of the responses they elicit, the more it has become a natural part of the way I communicate.

---

P.S. I think some of you would enjoy Her Buddy's blog. He seems so open and real with what he shares.

---

* Usually I am not impressed with "I'll do anything you ask" statements, but I know his statement comes from a deep level of trust and knowledge of me as his partner. He knows I'd never ask him to do anything that would hurt him or anyone else so he feels safe in offering his willingness to do the things I ask.

Random Late Night Thoughts

Image by Justice Howard

It's late and I cannot sleep. It's times like this that I most hate him being so far away. Smiles - well times like this and those times when I am exceptionally in need of my favorite form of physical activity ;) I want to talk now and he's asleep. Yes of course I know I'm the Domme and I could simply call and wake him up but I won't. I see no reason to be inconsiderate even though I know he'd probably be the first person to say "you should have called me!" Instead, I'll just ramble on here for a bit (my thoughts are a bit too distracted for much more than rambling).

Let's see.. I've added a couple more blogs to my list of blogs I read. The first is Alternative Journey, a relatively new blog written by a very articulate Domme named Elizabeth. I especially enjoy her post entitled, "The Boss Lady Serves Coffee" as the concept is something with which I wholeheartedly concur. The second is Bitchy Jones' Diary, a blog so delightfully funny that I found myself laughing out loud as I was reading.

What else... oh.. I've been thinking about cling wrap lately. Wrapping him from ankle to shoulders with a nice layer of cling wrap - all of him that is but his favorite appendage. After all, controlling him turns me on so much that I wouldn't want that part of him to be inaccessible to me ;) Perhaps I would allow his tongue to pleasure me first. Choices, choices... so many delicious choices. I believe I'll send him out to buy a special roll of cling wrap to be used only for that purpose and have him leave it sitting out on the counter each time he has friends over. They'll never know, but I've not doubt he'll feel a nice twinge anyway when he walks past it.

Hmm - that thought didn't certainly didn't help with the sleeplessness :) Perhaps the shower I find I now need will help to relax me enough so that I can sleep.

Some Days...

Some days it feels so good to be evil.

The other night I mentioned something to Rook about the Evil Cowgirl. Much to my surprise I'd never told him that little story from my past.

When I was eight or nine some new boys moved into the house behind mine. Now... our neighborhood didn't have any girls with whom I could play, so I was forced to play with the new boys. The one who was my age was so smart and cute that I just lovvvved him immediately. When we played, I was always the group leader (now, can you imagine that?) and, as such, used to make them play good guys and evil cowgirl in our clubhouse. I, of course, was the evil cowgirl and they were the good guys I was forced to capture and tie up so they couldn't take me away. I'd keep them tied up til they begged me to let them go. Even after he begged, I wouldn't let the one loose that I liked - not until he promised to be my boyfriend and do what I said.

It's funny how stories like this stir up fantasies in the minds of submissive boyfriends ;) We've talked about it a couple of different times since that night and he confessed he has found himself at odd moments wondering what it would have been like to have known me way back then and how that sort of play would have effected him. I admit I've wondered quite a bit lately if that play triggered something kinky in the minds of those little boys and if they all remembered. Had it effected their adult lives any? Were they perhaps a bit kinky too? My brothers are still friends with them, but only one is single and as such, he is the only one I've ever really teased about it since we've been grown. Even then, I only briefly mentioned it to him and spoke of how much fun we all use to have playing. He agreed it was one of his fondest memories but the discussion never went any farther.

Today I spent the day with my parents, my brother, his wife, Bill, and their daughters. Usually when my brother visits from out of town some of the old gang will stop by to see him and catch up on everything. Today was no exception.

K stopped by with his wife and two young (and very rowdy) boys in tow. Since we were already outdoors grilling (it was a beautiful day), it was natural that the boys began playing with my youngest niece. The adults sat around talking and laughing but mostly watching the kids play. As children will, they soon began to fight about what they wanted to do. A truly mischievous idea crossed my mind and at first I told myself I couldn't do it. I shouldn't do it. Who was I kidding? After all that talk this week about the Evil Cowgirl I had to do it!

I had my oldest niece run and get the jump rope stored in the garage. I then gathered the kids around and told them I knew of a really fun game they could play. I deliberately positioned myself so that I could see their parents' faces as I began to explain all about "good guys and the evil cowgirl". The kids thought it was a terrific idea (especially my six year old niece who is the bossiest child I've seen since.. well, probably me.) As I spoke I watched the faces of K and his wife. Seriously - it was one of life's priceless moments. First K's face began to get a little red and he gave a quick glance at his wife. She in turn began to get a little red and gave a nervous little giggle. When she did I couldn't help it, I had to lower my head to hide my smile. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud. After I regained my composure, I looked up and K shrugged his shoulders rather sheepishly and gave me a slow wink and nod. They knew I knew and I'm pretty sure they suspect about me. Given the fact that we were surrounded by children and my *very* conservative family nothing else was said, but I fully expect a phone call later in the week. Who knows, I may have just found another kinky couple in the middle of the conservative heartland ;)

Brave New World

(artwork by Walter Girotto)

She made a universe and She locked me in it.
She drugged me with slow ecstasy
and left me, trance flowing through my veins,
memory no longer sequential,
every sense amplified to distortion.
The wind was Her breath on my skin,
the sound of the stream worked its way
through my intentions and changed them to Hers.
The sun was Her unbearable passion
and the night contained Her dark designs.
I was alone in paradise to be enjoyed
for the torment I endured without Her.
There had been surgery. Consensus reality
was removed and Her world transplanted
into me. Even my emotions were tuned
and Her music played erotically upon them.
Thoughts not my own move in my mind
as through a thick vacant consistency.
I love Her so much, but what else
is She going to do with me?

- (c) 2007, william the submissive poet

International Women's Day

Thank you John for letting me know that today is International Women's Day. How have I missed knowing about this day?

According to Wikipedia, International Women's day is celebrated globally each year on March 8th. While the holiday for some has become simply a day for men to express their love and appreciation for the women around them, it began and still in many ways continues as a means to mark the economic, political and social achievements of women. The day also is designated by the United Nations as a day to examine in a "hopeful manner" the struggles of women worldwide.

If there's a woman in your life that you truly appreciate, let her know today. Scratch that. Let her know every day but especially on this day.

Irritable Domme Warning

I've been a bit out of sorts for the last week or so, so here's my "irritable Domme warning". My responses may not be nice nor even fair. I'm trying to deal with these feelings and if you write something that hits me the wrong way, you may have to deal with it too. My friends don't have to worry about this but dick and his consorts have been given fair warning.

A couple of responses to an email I received and a question asked in the comments section:

Steve (aka "perfect slave") wrote:

"Respectfully Lady Julia the quality of your blog has rapidly gone downhill. Why are you posting all these meaningless posts with photos and one or two sentences? Don't you have anything of depth to write about anymore?"

Steve, I'll begin by stating the obvious - prefacing your remarks with the word "respectfully" doesn't mask the intent of your comment (not that I think that you intended it to.) This is MY blog. I am writing it for me and for my friends. If others find it interesting and helpful then I adore that. I've made several wonderful new friends through my blog readership and that's always great. I will, however, write whatever I feel like writing and you are free to read or not read.

I am not a Domme. I am a woman with many interests who also happens to be a Domme. Yes I enjoy writing about that aspect of my life but if I from time to time wish to write about something else then I will. Feel free to remove me from your list of daily readings if you can't deal with that.

In an email to me, Dick wrote:

"Why do you list the female submissive blogs and the obviously crazy Domme blogs on your blogroll? Why don't you list blogs by people who have real D/s relationships like Saratoga? If you read their blogs you would know more about being a real Domme."

I have list the blogs I like to read. I don't list blogs I don't like to read or don't have time to read. Pretty simple concept.

Yes, some at least one blog on my list of "blogs I read" is written by a female submissive and some are written by Dommes with styles very different than mine. Unlike some who actually openly admit they only want to read the things written by people who think just like them, I'm not afraid of reading about and thinking about the ways people very different from me experience their relationships. As above, if you don't want to read the blogs linked off mine, then don't. Now, wasn't that easy?

On to more positive things.

I've added 3-4 blogs to the "blogs I read" list so take a peek and see if you see anything new. A couple are well established and one or two are new blogs. I especially like supporting the new bloggers because it's so difficult for some to keep on writing when they think no one is reading. Maybe some of you will be extra sweet and leave an occasional comment on these new blogs to let the writer know you're out there.

Hmm... what else to tell you.... Oh yes (smiles). Last night we began talking a bit more about spanking. As I've mentioned before this was a component in my previous relationship, but it's always been something Rook was never really "into". During last night's conversation I briefly mentioned spanking him for something playfully sassy that he said and it launched another long discussion about how I saw spanking happening in our relationship, what I would use when I did it, and under what circumstances it would occur. Within just a few minutes it was obvious we were both very excited (mentally and physically ;) about the idea.

Even though I completely understand the dynamic, it always amazes me when he gets excited about something just because I am. As we were talking, I thought - stretch a bit more and see how he feels about some other things he used to admit held no interest to him. I prefaced each question with a variation of, "I've been thinking about X and it really excites me - what do you think about it?" He was always willing to do any of those things but last night he professed a desire to do them. Yum. It feels so good to see our relationship growing (not because he's becoming kinkier, rather because we are becoming so in tune with one another that he's learning to let go of some things and enjoy my control even more - all because he loves and wants to please me.) That's a very wonderful feeling.

Ok, I'm off now to respond to some of the comments left recently and then to read some in my group. Sometime in the next few days I'll tell you all about the latest "experience" for the fellas in my group.

It's Not Exactly Rocket Science Part Deux

Since I hurt my knee, heels haven't been an option for me. Hopefully soon, though. I did have a friend who tried the high heel inserts I described in a previous entry. She said they definitely helped ease some of the pain on the balls of her feet, however for her they only worked well on pumps. She said she had difficulty using them with heels pictured like above.

Just an FYI. If you try them, please update me on how they worked for you.

3/10/07 Addendum: Here's a link that tells where you can purchase Insolia inserts. I'm not recommending them myself so don't spend tons of money on them ;) The website for Insolia states they can be used on any high heel (sandal type or pump).

Terrific Tush Tuesday

Sue has succeeded where I failed. I spent some time looking for photos mature male bottoms to feature here, but alas no success. finenakedbutts.com has failed me. Sigh ;)

Missing You

Only your love moves me more than your touch.

A Gift

Year by year,
Women are not coming older,
year by year,
Women are coming more Women.

Beauty, my Goddess,
Your skin, Your voice, Your eyes, all You.
Beauty, my Goddess,
i am always to follow You, my Beauty Lady.

You are my Goddess,
there are taller than You, there are,
there are more fashions than You, there are,
there are, there are, there are . . .
But You are the Queen.

When i cannot see Your face,
i see Your feet.

Leave me without bread,
leave me without air,
but please.
Never leave me without your voice.

When i cannot see Your face,
i see Your feet.

Year by year,
Women are not coming older,
year by year,
Happy Birthday Lady Julia.

with love,
servant john

Thank you John - you're a very sweet friend and you amaze me with your ability to write something so beautiful in a language that is not native to you. Your kindness is appreciated. (And thanks for helping me remember that growing older isn't necessarily a bad thing ;)

Fetish Lore - New Forum

My friend Richard has established a new forum, Fetish Lore. It looks like a friendly place to discuss fetishes, power exchange, and more so if you have a few moments you might wish to take a peek. Richard and Alexandra (the administrators) are very nice, very open minded, quite insightful people and I have very much enjoyed my email/blog interactions with them. I think you might as well.

Dragons

"Fairy stories are more than real:

not because they tell us dragons exist;

but because they tell us dragons can be defeated."

- GK Chesterson

Thank you, Dave.

A Birthday Poem

The hypnosis worked its way in,
She had Her way with him.
The foreplay was finished
and only Her choices remained.
His eyes reflected Her words,
his body responded to Her commands,
his will was a covenant
to be rewritten according to Her demands.

As She considered, tasting Her exquisite
and vintage dry red wine
with a breath like heaven
in a glass of finest crystal clear
and an intoxication devine,
he spoke to Her and startled She listened.

"Dear Mistress, today is a special day.
'tis the day of your birth and that glory
that makes my every breath worthwhile.
I have no gift for You other than myself.
I have neither wealth nor castle to offer,
and so I have risen from the depths of trance
to open myself to You without reservation,
without fear, indeed with joy, to accept
and embrace anything that You would do
to me that might please You. I return to
trance. Please, please, use me to enhance
Your pleasure this day."

There was wonder in Her face
and intention in Her plans
as She finished Her wine
and contemplated Her best and favorite
submissive man.

(c) 2007, william the submissive poet

Thank you william for your lovely gift. Not just today but for all the beautiful works you've shared with me.

Thanks

Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes - emails, cards, phone calls, text messages. It was a lovely day.

Memorable comments from my day...

"I love you."

"Miracles happen." (encouragement for Bill and my Dad)

"I've heard 45 is the new 35."

They Say It's Your Birthday...

Today's my 45th birthday. Part of me is thinking there's no way I can be 45 and part of me thinks so what if I am, I'm still sexy ;)

It's been a wonderful day so far. I awoke and spent a lovely 30 minutes or so talking on the phone with a very special friend and received some wonderful news that made my world so much brighter. Afterwards, Bill made my breakfast (ok, well he nuked a breakfast sandwich but that's cooking as far as Bill is concerned). I'll be having a late lunch and spending the afternoon with Bill and my parents. Pretty bland sounding I know but really special to me since Bill and my Dad feel up to doing this.

I miss being with Rook today - I can't go there to visit right now for obvious reasons and he's working so many hours a week that he couldn't come here. Still, we're really good at making the most of our nightly time together on the phone. We've grown so much as a couple because of the hours we spend talking - something I'm not sure we would have done if we were together all the time. I've also found that I can be incredibly creative sexually even long distance and I have a long list of things to do when we're next together (which hopefully will be in the very near future).

Some of my gifts have yet to arrive, but thus far I've received some dvds and books including an illustrated anthology of Byron's passionate romantic poetry (nice choice honey - I love it). Among those gifts yet to arrive is The Lovers Essentials by Kama Sutra, a collection of massage oils and bath salts. True these gifts are not kinky, but they reflect a knowledge of the things I love - soft, romantic, pretty things. Often I think people buy gifts with themselves in mind. If he were into strap-on play and he'd given me a nice new strap-on device, it wouldn't really generate the same feeling, would it? These gifts were for me, not for him. (Smiles - of course there are a few really kinky things out there that I still want and that would have been great because they're also things I desire).

Hmm - more to write, but it's time to prepare for my afternoon out. More later ;)

It's Not Exactly Rocket Science

Well, apparently it is. A genuine rocket scientist from MIT has helped develop inserts that reportedly makes wearing heels much more comfortable.

If you've ever worn heels - and I know some of you have ;) - you know that after awhile the balls of your feet begin to ache. It's just part of the "cost" for knowing that your legs and ankles look mm mmm good. These inserts claim to help shift balance so that the weight is distributed evenly on the foot instead of leaving the ball of the feet to do all the work. Does the product work? I don't know, but for $9.99 I'm willing to find out.

Now, if only some rocket scientist would tackle underwire bras ;)

Lunar Eclipse Today

I'm really interested in astronomy and know that some of you are as well. According to Spaceweather.com:

The eclipse begins around 3:30 pm EST (2030 UT) when the Moon enters the outskirts of Earth's shadow. During this early stage, it's possible to look at the Moon and not realize anything is happening. Only a hint of shadow cast across the lunar terrain hints of what is to come: By 5:00 pm EST (2200 UT) the difference will be unmistakable -- at least half the Moon is in deep shadow -- and by 6:00 pm EST (2300 UT) the whole Moon will turn a delightful shade of sunset red.

I'm not sure I'll be able to see anything here, but I'm certainly going to take a peek.

Feel Good Playlist

Thanks to a suggestion from my friend gamma, I've decided to start a "feel good" playlist on YouTube - a collection of videos that cheer me up to watch. He sent this clip today and I thought it was amazing! I wonder how in the world they taught this dog to do this.





I've posted this next one before, but I wanted to share it again in case you decided to start your own feel good playlist. This one is never fails to crack me up.





I know I'm warped for thinking this next one is funny, but I do. It's from the show Scare Tactics a sort of Candid Camera type show where friends scare the bleep out of their friends.





One more from Scare Tactics.



I'm guessing that you've a list of YouTube funnies as well. Care to share?

Silly Fun

Thought I'd try Tom's suggestion and try a few blog quizzes :) I haven't done any of them for awhile now.

You Are 88% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Off the Charts! Let's face it... you're one of the sexiest people around. And you don't let anyone forget it. You're crazy hot, and you deliver on what you promise. You are definitely one wild ride.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Lost!

Tonight's my favorite TV night of the week. We always TiVo Lost on Wednesday night and watch in Thursday evening while eating take-out Chinese food. I know many gave up on the show last season when it got slow, but thus far they've made up for it this season and then some. (If you quit watching, check out the summary episodes they showed either the first of the season or a couple of weeks ago and the one that aired a couple of weeks ago and then join me :) If you live in the US you can watch this entire current season on ABC's website.

I know there are several Lost fans who read my blog so I thought it would be fun to ask a few Lost related questions (my answers in parentheses). (Feel free to skip any question.)

Who's your favorite Lost character and why? (Sayid - he's the sort of man who gets things done with confidence and not a lot of angst. Even though he has done things for which he isn't proud in service of his country, overall he seems honorable and trustworthy. If I were stranded on that island, he'd be the character I'd most want to be there. My second favorite would be Hurley just because he's so sweet and he tries to make certain everyone is doing ok.)

What's your favorite Lost "theory"? (I think the entire thing is one big mind control experiment that has gotten completely out of control. This doesn't explain the X-files sort of phenomena that occurs, but I'm at a loss to explain that. I'm afraid in the end they'll just pull out some silly explanation for all that.)

Do you think we'll see any more of Michael and Walt? (I don't because the actor who plays Walt is aging in real world time, not tv show Lost time. They've only been on the island a couple of months and this is the third season.)

Feel free to add questions in the comments section and I'll modify this entry.

The Struggle

Sometimes I just do not have a clue what to write here. After keeping a blog for almost two years I feel as if I've pretty much covered everything at least once (some things probably numerous times). Logically there are still many things I could write about should my mind simply find a topic springboard. Thanks to my friend Richard, I now have two. The first is found on a section of his FemDom Blogs site, aptly titled Suggested Topics for Your Blog. The second, Kindlings, was referred by Miss Bonnie. The first is distinctly FemDom oriented, the second is written by a female submissive (easy enough to switch things around in my mind and still get ideas).