The Quiet Moments

I love the quiet moments in my life. In fact, I've begun to embrace them because they're what helps keep me sane in the midst of all the chaos.

It's quiet at this moment. Bill is sleeping, something he hasn't done much of the past few days. He was sick over the weekend and then yesterday he had another treatment. I sat beside him for awhile before he fell asleep and just talked. It's funny - he likes hearing me talk about anything. He loves arguing with me so much that he'll pick a side with which he knows I'll disagree just so we can get into heated debates. I like that really as it makes me think. He also loves to have me read to him - poetry, short stories, even novels. He says my voice helps quiet all the anxious thoughts scurrying around his mind. For a while before he fell asleep I held his hand and talked to him about all the things I find wonderful in the world. Lying back in a hammock on a warm summer's day... watching white puffy clouds float by... so carefree.. so light. Or floating in the pool staring up at the stars. Stars that seem to beckon with their beauty. So many wonderful, relaxing things in this world. Pretty soon he was relaxed and able to drift off to sleep. I feel so much peace just watching him sleep, knowing that at least for that time he is feeling well.

I always try to begin my day with a quiet moment. In the mornings when I first awaken, I love lying in my nice comfortable warm bed while my world is still quiet and revelling in being alive. For some reason, I'm almost always a bit turned on when I awaken - even when I awaken alone. (Smiles - when I'm not alone I'm always more than "a bit" turned on.) I've begun taking the time once again to appreciate my body.. how wonderful it feels to caress or tease different spots... how delicious it sounds to hear my breath coming faster... how exciting it is to feel my body begin to writhe as my fingers work their magic. Because I'd been so stressed, I hadn't been doing this. How silly of me as this is such a wonderful way to rid myself of tension - at least for a little while.

My day is full of opportunities to catch a quiet moment if I only pay attention. Sitting on the deck for 10-15 minutes with my favorite poetry book, reading words that have caressed and stimulated countless minds. Sinking down into the bath and allowing the warmth wash over my body - even if it is only for a few short minutes. Talking on the phone for a few moments with my loving, devoted pet. So many opportunities.

For the longest time, I didn't really appreciate all these quiet moments, but I've recently come to realize that those of us with busy lives have to grasp them wherever and whenever we can. They're important to maintaining our peace of mind.

What's appreciating the quiet moments have to do with FemDom or hypnosis? Nothing really. It's just something I've just recently learned to consciously embrace and I honestly think by doing so, I'm becoming a better partner and a more loving Mistress.

Subjective Considerations

Your words are tears of salt, of power, of desire.
I drown in them, I taste them, I become them.
Every new meaning is a shiver into submission.
Every command becomes obedience unbound.
In my surrender, I create Your dreams.
In my need to please, I am the medium
that aches for the touch of Your artistry.
Sweet soft words in spirals of sound,
around and around as I go down,
I am lost as You intended and suspended
in the web that defines Your intended use.
The power that You use to confuse me
is an addictive ecstasy to me. How can I
resist the offer that You tempt me with?
After I have given myself freely,
do You have any responsibility?

- (c) 2007, william the submissive poet

Terrific Tush Tuesday on Wednesday

I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

P.S. Sue - just saw the photo you left for me yesterday - yum! Thanks for covering my TTT ;)

I Feel...

really out of touch with all of you. I know some scoff at the idea that the FemDom blogsphere is a community of sorts, but I think it is. I've wondered what was happening with everyone both in my blog realm and in my group. It's funny how one can come to care about people's lives and their happiness even if they've never met in person.

My friends here at home have been neglected as well. Yesterday I visited the bookstore and some of the "regulars" there were teasing me about being the absent friend. Our bookstore cafe is a bit like Cheers - there's often a group of people there discussing books or current events. Usually it's a mixture of new people we've drawn in and a core of regulars. It was good to feel a connection again.

It feels good to know people understand and are patient. Really - they're more than that. They're very supportive - IF I let them. It's tough for me to accept help or anything else from friends. (Not too Domme-like I guess but it's me nonetheless.) Both Rook and Bill say I try too hard to handle everything on my own. Maybe I do. I'm trying to learn to let go of some control and let others in a bit more.

Speaking of bookstores and books, since I've spent a lot of time in hospitals and Dr's waiting rooms lately, I've had more time to read. I've recently finished Haunted Air and Gateways. Currently I'm reading Crisscross. If you haven't tried the Repairman Jack series, give him a try. The Tomb is the first in the series and well worth the read.

I also picked up a couple of books that featured strong female characters - James Patterson's The Honeymoon and Lisa Gardner's Gone.

The Honeymoon: "How does it feel to be desired by every man and envied by every woman? Wonderful. This is the life Nora Sinclair has dreamed about, the life she's worked hard for, the life she will never give up. Meet Nora Sinclair." (more here)

About Gone, Glamour Magazine said: "Good news: There are no damsels in distress here—the wife, their daughter and a female sheriff all kick-butt. It's a whodunnit until the very end." (more here)

The End of the Day

The sweat on Your skin is sweet.
It is a gift to me
that You allow my tongue to taste it.
Your words have erotic power beyond belief.
Please may I bend my body low in supplication?
I am caught in the coil and constriction
of Your direction,
I am lost in the connections
that You impose upon me.
Your sweet kiss is a beautiful torture
that sends me down to submissive
eternity.
Rhythm and repetition,
word upon word,
arousal and control,
my soul is made to sing
like a slave auditioning.
I am an automaton that kisses
Your thighs, and moves upward
to pleasure the places
that You provide to me.
I am open completely
and Your desires decide
the trajectory of my need.
Only Your pleasure is important.
I follow the place Your eyes
mark while You ride Your passion.
Lock me away when You are finished.
I will worship the day
You return to take
the end of the day.

- (c) 2007, william the submissive poet

Since I Missed Terrific Tush Tuesday

"What is dominance and submission? It's that symbiotic dance performed in the deepest recesses of the mind"

This and That

I've been going through my email box this afternoon. My oh my. There's now a little over 2000 messages there and some of them are dated the first of January. Since things have calmed down for the moment I'm determined to catch up this weekend.

If you're a member of my YahooGroup and you've written to me requesting my MP3s, I'd like for you to resend that request to my friend gamma at gamma_1963 @ yahoo.co.uk (In your request be sure and include the Yahoo ID you use in my group.) He's offered to send out the URLs for those people who have requested them in the past month and who continue to wait (thank you gamma - you're a darlin').

Bill and my father are doing ok for the moment. Thanks to everyone who has written to ask. Things remain hectic but we're all in pretty good spirits at the moment.

I'm headed out to the bookstore for a bit this afternoon. That's my escape place :) I'll write more later. Before I leave, I wanted to post a link to this article. I believe I know what most of you would say in response to the advice Dr Laura has allegedly given, but I thought I'd open it up for discussion anyway. Is there any grain of truth at all inbedded in her 1950's philsophy? Should women (and men) feel some sense of obligation towards meeting the sexual needs of their partner?

(P.S. You may be wondering, what does the photo above have to do with this entry? Not a thing - I just think it's uber sexy ;) Enjoy your day. )

~ Lady J

Making the First Move

Well, sometimes anyway ;) In reality - it's not always about me. In a loving relationship it's about him, too.

I have a few minutes this evening and I thought, hmm... I should post a blog entry. It's been such a long time that I'm certain that my friends think I've abandoned them and that I've lost tons of readers. The funny thing is, you'd think with not having written for three weeks that I would have something really interesting to say. Alas, such is not the case. I've been so busy dealing with all the stressors in my life that I haven't really had many kinky thoughts.

What's happening in my life isn't unusual. It happens to a lot of people - a sick parent, a sick child, a very busy job - often all at the same time. I wonder how other people manage to nurture their relationships during times like this. Is this why so many people my age have relationships that end? I admit it - I've neglected him. True, I've not turned him down when *he* has initiated anything (I think I'd have to be dead for that - grin), but somehow those kinky thoughts haven't seemed to enter *my* mind first lately. In some relationships this wouldn't be a big deal as the other partner's needs often drive them enough that they initiate intimacies. When one is with a submissive man this doesn't always happen. After all - the Domme's the one in control, right? Many say he's supposed to wait on my lead and admittedly most of the time, he does. He also waits because he's being kind and considerate. He's remarked that he knows I'm stressed completely out and he doesn't want to add even more demands. So, what's a caring submissive man to do in a situation like this?

I believe he should discuss with his dominant partner and determine how she would feel if he initiated things at least occasionally during high stress times. (Personally I like it when he initiates things sometimes even during the good times but I know that freaks out some of the more rigid Dommes.) I don't consider initiating things in a time like this to be topping. He's doing something that will help her and help the relationship. Because he discussed it with her - he has her permission to do so. If she agrees, it will ultimately please her and definitely makes her feel better to be at least momentarily distracted. It also helps relieve her of the burden of guilt she may feel for neglecting him.

Dommes, how do you deal with extended periods of being too stressed to be kinky? (Or... does this ever even happen to you? I suppose some people are never too stressed for that.) Submissives, how do you handle a situation like this? Inquiring minds want to know.

The Temple

When I worship
the temple enfolds me like a lover.
When I kneel
I feel as though I know my place.
I imagine Your face
favoring me with a glance.
I imagine that perhaps I have a chance
to be more than nothing to You.
I dream that the words in my mind
that will not ever stop
become replaced by Your words
and Your needs become mine.
I light incense that reminds me
of Your beautiful body scent.
I hold Your smile in my memory.
I am only free when I am Your slave,
how can that be?
This place is Your place that I made for You.
I worship here to expose and offer
my need to please You.
A small bell sounds to celebrate
the fact that You are near.
Please Dear Lady, use me
before I disappear.

(c) 2006, 2007 - william the submissive poet

About Commenting on My Blog

I've been doing some thinking about my anonymous friends who have been leaving such respectfully written comments and I've decided that I will no long publish anonymous comments. My blog, my choice. So, come out from under the bridge trolls and face me. If you want to leave a comment on my blog, get a blogger account or at least sign a name or pseudonym to your comment so I will have a name to associate with your remarks. (Those of you who use the anonymous comment option and sign your comments may continue to do so at least for now.)

Let me ask this - if you're an anonymous poster but you sign your name to your entries - is it a really big deal to just get a blogger ID? I know you may not want to blog but you can sign up in less than a minute and just never use the blog. You have to provide an email address when you sign up but anonymous email addresses are easy enough to get from yahoo or gmail. If you're a commenter here and you don't have a blogger account, let me know if there are reasons you feel you can't get a blogger ID. I may just go to blogger ID holders only posting here. I hate to do that if it restricts comments from non-trolls so I want to hear what you think.

Untitled Poem

Relax She says
As if I have the choice
I am already settled into that calm center
Where Her voice is the brightest star in the sky
The Japanese have a saying:
If you seek enlightenment, chop wood and carry water
The most mundane tasks can carry us to wisdom
But tonight I am focused on how Her nails must be the most perfect red
I make each brush stroke more perfect than the last
When you are grooming a Goddess
Can you afford to let imperfection show?

- chris

Training

Your quickened breathing and perfectly held position signals that you're ready. My eyes glance over the items resting on the table nearby. Black leather paddle, graduated anal plugs, a nice long dildo, candles, ice, lube, and more. You could easily list every item for your racing mind is reviewing the possibilities for each. Which will I use? Will I use any?

I chuckle softly in delight as I notice your body trembling just a little in anticipation.

A crook of my finger bids you closer. That's right, crawl to me. Slowly. I love watching your body as you do. There... stop right there. Perfect.

I stand and slowly walk around your body, inspecting my property. God I love your body. You're so incredibly sexy and I love how your body responds when I touch you. Yes... just like that... my hand caresses the curve of your behind and your cock - my cock - twitches.

The number two anal plug. That's today's adventure. A bit bigger than the last time but something I know you'll enjoy. That bit of pressure, a feeling of fullness. A constant reminder while it's in place that I own all of you and enjoy all of you.

Deep breath Darling... take a nice deep breath and the exhale slowly as I take possession of your body. I smile as your gasp reaches my ears. Such a good boy. So obedient. So very pleasing to your Mistress.

As I walk back to my chair and sit... so close to your face now... I can see the pleasure and excitement dancing across your face. The tautness of my nipples and the wetness between my thighs offer testimony that this excitement and pleasure is mutual.

Come closer still my Darling. As my thighs spread, my skirt lifts to reveal that I am pantyless.

It's time to taste. My well trained pet - you know exactly how to please your Mistress. Your tongue and lips so warm, so eager to please. Each soft cry that escapes my lips excites you a bit more... your muscles clinching... gripping that hardness in your behind. A bit of precum moistens the tip of your stiff cock. Yes, that's right. My pleasure is your pleasure. So close. Your excitement building. So very close... Just one caress and you would release. However, that's not our goal, is it? My hands grip the back of your head as my body shudders in release. Your body stiffens. So very close...

But... alas... not this time, my Darling. We'll continue your training. Conditioning you both hypnotically and physically. My pleasure is your pleasure. Pleasing me feels so very good. One day soon my cries of pleasure will trigger your release. Until then, we'll enjoy the training.