Sometimes

Sometimes when I sit down to blog I find myself staring at the screen with no topic at all in mind. After two years of blogging it seems like I've tackled most things, some more than once. Yet I want to blog as it seems that blogging is cathartic for me. In my very busy life it's one of the things that I truly want to do take time to do for myself. And.. it doesn't hurt my ego any to know that so many people drop by to read ;) Domme ego and all that...

So on thinking about what I wanted to write about tonight, I've decided I'll just ramble. Indulge me.

Many of you asked about an entry from earlier in this week in which I said goodbye to someone. My friend David was forty-eight years old and a super nice man. He got married one day earlier this week, went to sleep that night, and died in his sleep. I was so sad to hear this and a little angry. After all this time of seeking happiness, he dies on the happiest day of his life? Bill and a couple of my friends reminded me that he did died happy, with someone he loved, and went quietly in his sleep. What more can a person ask for? I guess that's true and I thank them for helping me find that perspective.

We used to have fun, David and I. We met each other in an erotic hypnosis chat room and eventually decided we'd learn together to hypnotize. We were both perfectionists and both fairly imaginative and creative. We made good trance partners. I'd hypnotize him and he'd hypnotize me. Lots of the techniques I use today I learned from him. He was really good at describing and eliciting sensations when he tranced someone. I remember once he did a session in which he took me ballroom dancing and then for a moonlit walk on the beach. He was so skilled that the next day when I first awakened I found myself questioning for a few moments whether or not it actually happened.

I haven't talked to David in about a year. You know how it is, things get busy and we lost track. I hate that and I don't want that to happen with other people I care about. As such I've resolved to do better about keeping in touch with my friends. In the past couple of days I've rekindled some friendships and it's felt really, really good. You forget how much you miss people til you talk to them again. It's been nice to laugh and tease a bit.

On a happier note, I think I'll tell you about my dad. He's almost 69 years old and lots of you already know has cancer of the bone marrow. Still works every single day in a very physically demanding job. Men twenty years younger can't do what he does let alone someone who has cancer. He had chemo on Thursday, was a sick on Friday, and was out cutting down a tree and digging up the roots today. I'm staying with he and Mom this weekend just to keep an eye on him but sheesh, he's one tough old bird. Nothing seems to stop him. I'm thinking he'll outlive me :) (If you're thinking at 45 that I sound like I still think my dad is superman, it's because I do. He's a serious pain in the behind but I love and admire him to pieces.)

One more little tale and then I have to stop. As I mentioned previously I've been going to a gym to work out. This is a really great place because it's not just a workout facility. They have physical therapists and nurses there so that people like me can transition back into a workout even though we've been injured. Last week I met a really nice man who also is working to recover from a knee injury. We spoke casually about "no pain, no gain" and laughed because so far all we've seen is the pain. We've spoken a couple of more times since, mostly light stuff, and certainly nothing at all about sex. The only personal information I know about him is his age and the fact that he's single. In spite of the casual nature of our conversation, I've found myself suspecting he's submissive and I'm not sure why. Perhaps I see submissives around every corner, I don't know. I wonder if after a while, we develop a sort of radar about these things? It'll be interesting to see. We were talking about our childhoods during our last conversation (we're about the same age) and I almost told the evil cowgirl story. Since we were working out at the time I couldn't see his face very well. I think next week I'll shift the conversation back to childhood stories again, tell him about the evil cowgirl, and see what he says and does when he hears. I know, I know, way subtle but this is the Bible belt and I can't very well wear leather to my workout ;) I'll let you know what happens.