Romancing the Lady - Gifts

Image by Le Croix

Buying gifts for a woman can be a difficult task especially when you have not been given any hints. Sometimes, I give Rook hints. Big ones - like here's a link - go here and look at this! ;) Usually, though, he selects gifts without any prompting and thus far he's done a wonderful job. A silk scarf, opera gloves, a book of poetry by Byron.. all things that "fit" me and all gifts that were inspired by something said during one of our many conversations. The reason for the silk scarf is obvious to anyone who has listened to my MP3s. The inspiration to purchase the opera gloves stemmed from a discussion about a Steve Martin movie in which he gifted a beautiful pair of black opera gloves to a salesgirl and later made love to her while she was wearing them. He knew when he bought these things that I'd love them because he pays attention to what I say and how I feel about things.

There have also been times when he's presented me with kinkier gifts. He knows I enjoy toys and he hasn't been shy about helping to build my collection. However not once has he purchased something without hearing me say that I wanted it. All this is great because he's doing these things for me - not because he is manipulating me in order to allow himself the opportunity to experience the item.

Occasionally I hear men mention the gifts they purchase for their partner's birthday, Christmas, anniversary, and so on. Sometimes I am touched by their creativity or their thoughtfulness. At others I find myself wondering how in the world they've managed to convince themselves that it's a gift for anyone other than themselves. Unless she particularly mentions a CB3000 and how much she's just dying for one, I'd think that sort of gift would usually not really be for her. The same for some sort of sexy garment that is way out of the ordinary for what she wears. Come on... in most circumstances we all know who these types of gifts are really for. Should they be surprised when they receive a less than enthusiastic response? Often these fellows are not only disappointed but they become resentful when she shows no interest at all in the gift.

If he wants that sort of thing for himself, why not just ask her to give it to him as his gift? Wouldn't she then be much more likely to consider actually using the item? Even then, I'd think this tactic would only work if she was open to the idea in the first place.