Valentine's Day
Every night Rook and I dress (smiles or sometimes undress) for bed, slip under the covers, and talk on the phone for an hour or two - sometimes more. A long distance relationship is tough, but this is one of the ways we are able to stay so close. We discuss everything under the sun. (Honey I'm still lost on that string theory discussion but you're so sexy especially when you're talking about brainy things that I couldn't concentrate on what you're saying... it's not that I can't grasp that concept - really! ;)
About a week ago during one of our chats I breezily announced that I thought we need not exchange Valentine's gifts. "Valentine's Day is a silly commercial holiday and it's ridiculous to spend money on contrived romance and we are both too busy to make anything this year. We send things to each other all the time for no reason other than we want to so why do it on a silly holiday." Reluctantly he agreed. (I know in his mind he was hearing, Warning! Warning! Danger! Danger Will Robinson!)
Today is Valentine's Day and yes, you guessed it - I'm sitting here feeling a little sad. I know it's silly to be sad about something like this when there's so much horror and sickness in the world but allow me two seconds to be totally self-indulgent. I promise I'll move past it after that ;) It's not about the gift, it's about the romantic gesture. I miss that we didn't make those gestures today because we've done them every year since we've been together. I can't remember what I did for our first Valentine's Day, but I remember that he made a mixed song CD for me and gave me a copy of Cyrano de Bergerac. I loved that he took the time and effort to make something for me.
I don't really have a need to come here and whine about my decision. I know that when we talk later that we will share a special time. I just thought I'd offer a word of caution to all you fellas out there. When we say "oh no, don't do anything for Valentine's Day, our birthday, etc", we probably mean it at the time, but when the day arrives, we're likely to regret that choice :) Make your lady happy and do something special and romantic for her anyway. Perhaps something small but still something that shows her you believe she's worthy of the romantic effort.
posted by Lady Julia @ 9:07 AM
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7 Comments:
This is a pretty irksome one for me. Usually I get Alexandra something via a UK floral service. But a few days ago I discovered that the mortgage company had put an entire year's escrow payment into this month pretty much stripping my bank account.
Thankfully we can chat via Google Talk later.
Happy Valentine's Day! BTW, love what you've done with the place.
These are very good and timely words indeed!
I have often done such things. For a period of about 5 years, just to rail against the commercialism of Xmas, I refused to give or receive presents. Then I realized that it made some people sad that they couldn't give me anything, so I changed.
I have often been told that I am a very difficult person to do things for or give gifts to. In my quest to become unselfish, I have often inadvertantly been selfish. A gift is a two way exchange, and while commercialism of gift giving CAN wreck the moment, it doesn't HAVE to. We all have choice.
I'll take what I've learned from my mistakes and hopefully make no repeats. Don't feel sad that you missed out on one opportunity to receive a loving gift. You caught it and still have an infinite number of opportunities to receive new gifts.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
Dearest Lady Julia and A/all,
i wish U/u Happy feb 14
is time to be in love A/all at the same time, to love the people that W/we love, it has a good energy.
How many 2007 are? only one
How many feb in 2007 are? only one
How many 14 in feb 2007 are? only one.
Then W/we cannot loose this opportunity to LOVE, BEAUTIFUL LOVE.
i love to be HERe with U/us :)
Con todos mis sentimientos bonitos.
servant john.
Lady Julia....I have to say "snap"....I told my hubby not to get me anything and I wasnt getting him anything...but secretly I hoped that he might just produce a little gift. I have been dissapointed in the past when I have told him "not to" and he hasnt and all the world around me were getting gifts...so I didnt want to risk it again therefore started dropping hints ;-)
I said "you remember I said not to get anything..well I was talking to my USA friend and he didnt get his wife anything one year after she told him not to and it was a BIG mistake..in the doghouse :-) so hubby said...are you trying to tell me something?
Anyway, I ended up with a "love is" cup and "snap" cards and a gingerbread teddy which had a love heart stuck onto him and some red liquorice which hubby had tried to bend into a heart shape but it would not hold in place!
So fellas...beware....we dont always mean what we say. Most of us secretly like to be wooed even if we have been married for donkey's years. We like to be made to feel that we are special and thought about. It doesn't have to cost the earth...just the gingerbread teddy bear would have been fine for me....its the thought that counts :-)
Ah, yes, Martian vs Venuzian.
One of the great hazards in a man's is forgetting that just because the two langauges sound the same on the surfaced they are in fact quite different. It is the subtleties of intonation and body lanuage of Veuzian that we are prone to miss. Words like "fine" and "no" which are not spoken but sung, and the mood of the song is the key. Woulds't I really understood Venuzian. I don't, other than a few words and the realization that is is different!
Forgive us Lady's, we know not what we don't understand.
And yes, Valentine's, birthdays, anniversaries, and so on are sacred times at which we should always worship our Goddesses with offerings of our love, admiration, and even subjugation!
TVH
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