More on Fantasies

My friend Robert wrote the following and since I found it very insightful I thought I'd share it. (Again, not designed as advice for anyone - just a sharing of thoughts.)

"i've been pondering the fantasy sharing question You posed. i know my erotic fantasies are all over the map and aren't really geared to consider real-life implications for others. So my gut instincts are that i'm hesitant to share something that my lover could perceive as a desire, hope or expectation that they feel unwilling or inadequate to fulfill. Even though we might emphasize that it is something we don't really consider doing in real life, our lover may be so desirous of pleasing us, that i wonder if the effect on them could still be the same. i say that with a hearty appreciation for honesty in a relationship. My thought is that it might set my lover up to feel disconnected and conflicted if they don't feel comfortable joining the fantasy. But then how do we ever find out if we have compatible fantasies with our lover? i don't feel i have a handle on the answer to this question yet.

Bottom line: Real life cries out for the courage to take reasonable risks when seeking to deepen and enrich our relationships. Sensitivity to our partner's needs may mean carefully entrusting our fantasies with them in small doses, being especially attentive to the comfort level in their reactions and body language."