Happy New Year

"May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door."

- Irish Blessing

Comments

I was behind on responding to your comments. I think I'm caught up now :) (Posts with new comments are listed to the right.)

If I've missed a question, feel free to post it here.

Jammin'

It doesn't seem to matter what troubles may be lying at my feet, music always makes me feel better. Bill's gone for the rest of the day (he and Graham have gone to visit friends at Kentucky Lake), so I decided it was time for some serious decompressing time. I remembered the drawing from above and I thought - what the heck? Why not? So I stripped off all my clothes, put on my shades and have been dancing around the house for the last hour to Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll", ACDC's "Highway to Hell", BTO's "Takin' Care of Business", Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady" and more. I have to say - I FEEL GREAT. Talk about releasing endorphins, inhibitions and anything else that I could shed ;)

I'll write more later (I actually have 11 posts in various stages of readiness in draft form but haven't had the focus and time to finish them). Hope you're all having a great day and that your holidays were wonderful.

P.S. What are some of your favorite "jammin' til you feel great" songs?

Merry Christmas

Wishing you much peace, joy, and happiness.

Perfect Beauty

I am a rhythm,
a periodic response to Your perturbations,
a pendulum swinging
back and forth
back and forth
between Your every desire
and my need to make
Your desires realized.

Back and forth
back and forth
Your words come and go,
come and go,
Your voice connects to a caress
that moves up and down,
up and down
within my spine.

I wish to make Your every day
a holiday, I wish to be
the present You always open
first and play with
from morning until sleep.
I want You to keep me locked away
so that I may serve only You,
only Your needs,
only Your whims.

I wish to be the instrument
of Your ultimate pleasure,
the stimulation that makes Your orgasms
go on forever,
the submissive whose surrender
becomes more complete and complex,
mentally and physically more controlled
and tightly bound
while Your climax grows beyond understanding.

I am a rhythm
but a rhythm that burns,
a rhythm that learns to become
more Your slave, more Your creature,
more Your fantasy and Your love.
Back and forth
back and forth,
the release that You forbid to me
is a perfect unbearable beauty.

-(c) 2006, william the submissive poet

Christmas Eve Eve This and That

It's almost Christmas. I hope that wherever you are and whatever you're doing, you'll find that you're warm and happy.

Rook is away spending Christmas with his mother while I'm going to be here with Bill and my parents. I miss him, but I would never ask him to leave his mom alone at Christmas and I have no intention of leaving Bill and my parents this year.

So, the weekend will be a quiet, relaxing one. After the last few months I'm ready for that. I've picked out some DVDs to watch, have a fridge and pantry full of easy to fix Christmasy things, and have most of my shopping done. (I always go shopping on Christmas Eve - it's a ritual that started when I was five or six.)

One of my newer acquaintances mentioned that my plans didn't seem very "Domme-like". I wonder if he thinks that being a Domme is everything about me? Everything I do? How sad it is to limit a woman to only one facet of her personality. I could never be with a man who couldn't appreciate the young girl in me. No matter how old, I cannot imagine not enjoying playful teasing and giggling. Or the softer side who loves to be cradled in his arms and feel his fingers caressing my cheek? I believe this expectation that dominant women will be "on" all the time is one of the things that make men push their wives too hard and too far when they agree to explore a FemDom/LFA relationship.

Smiles. I got off on a rant, didn't I? Let's see.. what else was I going to tell you. Oh, I stumbled across another blog that I've recently discovered. GreyOwl CO is a very new journal reflecting garry's thoughts as he and his wife explore orgasm control. Fresh and honest writing - I think you'll enjoy.

I suppose that's all for now. I'm being distracted by Cary Grant on DVD and emails from charming men.

More later :)

Blogger Frustrations

I've a little extra time to be online today so I'm going through all the stacks of things I have to do and trying to catch up. This is just to warn you that I may have made 20 posts by the end of the day thanks to several interesting email exchanges I've been having with friends and new members of my Yahoo Group. Posting also helps me communicate with more people at once and somewhat assuages the guilt I feel over all of my unanswered emails :)

As I've been attempting to create these posts I have, as is my usual, attempted to place photos with the entries. For some reason blogger is refusing to let me do this. Has anyone else had problems with this? It's been happening for the past couple of days - pretty much ever since they announced that blogger beta was no longer in beta. Ha.

For now I'm having to upload the pictures manually to my website, resize them precisely, and then html code them into the post. Because it's a bit of a pain and also thanks to some other frustrations I have about blogger, I've begun to more strongly consider taking Richard's advice from a few weeks ago and may move my blog to WordPress. Well... I can't move it since I'm using Blogger Beta (if you haven't converted yet I'd again recommend not doing so until they force you to.) I'll just have to stop writing here and start writing them. I started a test blog there the other day and haven't really run into any problems. I thought I'd see if any of you have you tried WordPress and how well did/does it work for you?

Don't Forget!

World Orgasm Day is tomorrow. If a 76 year old woman and her 55 year old boy toy can organize something like this, it's up to us to do our part ;) Perhaps the more adventurous will share their orgasmic stories with me.

The Gift

It's late... or early... at any rate I can't sleep. I've been lying here listening to music (mostly Christmas music) and thinking about a lot of different things. I should be answering emails or writing something witty for my group, but I am just not focusing for some reason. My mind keeps drifting back to the lyrics of one of the first songs I heard tonight.

The Gift

- by Colin Raye, Jim Brickman

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are
turning on like a fairy tale come true
Sittin’ by the fire we made
You’re the answer when I prayed
I would find someone and baby I found
you

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more
everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love
away
And I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

Watching as you
softly sleep
What I’d give if I could keep
Just this moment if only time
stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us gray
But baby in my eyes you’ll still be beautiful

And all I want is to
hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from
being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you
more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your
love away
And I’m thankful everyday
Can’t find the words to say
Thank you for the gift

There's so much tenderness and love in these words. Perhaps the lines that touched me most were "But the colors fade away, And the years will make us gray, But baby in my eyes you’ll still be beautiful". Those are the words to touch a woman's heart. Maybe not all women but at least to me and to my friends. We want to know you find us beautiful and you always will. I think women who feel that way are far more confident, sexier, and much more likely to want to take the initiative to control their men sexually because sexy and confident is what it takes to feel comfortable taking control.

You don't have to write beautiful lyrics, but you can say and do things that show you love her and think she's sexy - just like she is - not just when she's dominating you. I remember when I found out that my chronic illness was getting a bit worse. I talked to Rook and told him that I wondered if maybe it wouldn't be better for him to move on to a relationship with someone who was healthier. He didn't hesitate, but instead quietly asked, "Remember that line from that Steel Magnolias movie you love so much? 'I'd rather have fifteen minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.' I'm not going anywhere as long as you want me to be here." How could I help but to feel loved, desired, and beautiful to him after that? Even though we were already involved in a FemDom relationship, that statement and his actions that demonstrated he meant what he said served to empower me even more.

If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to encourage your wife to consider taking a more dominant role, ask yourself - am I doing everything I can to help her see how loved she is? Does she see how confident and sexy I think she is - just like she is right now? If not, isn't it time to show her?

I'm Kinky and Sex Driven

Bonnie of CollarNCuffs shared her results for this interesting test so I thought that I would share mine. The profile doesn't fit me perfectly, but much of it is correct. Teasing yes - bitchy? Not usually a term used to describe me. Perhaps the quiz master had these lumped together.

I thought it interesting that I have "44 percent loving and submissive tendencies". I wonder if the quiz master sees these as synonymous? :) Or perhaps it was that I responded that I enjoyed "sucking his cock". I do - as a delightfully delicious tease, denial, make him beg me for release sort of thing. Controlling his pleasure touches me in a very deep place. That quick intake of breath, his eyes squinched shut, his hands gripping the sheets as his body tenses... yum.

You scored as Kinky and sex driven. You are insatiable! You love sex so much, and Femdom is mainly for You a way to put Your pleasure first, without having to care about Your slave's pleasure. You love to cum as often as possible. You expect Your slave put his tongue and fingers at the service of Your pleasure as often as possible. Kinky and sex driven 78% Teasing and "bitchy" 61% The Trainer 59% Psychologist 44% Loving, caring and with submissive tendencies 43% Sadistic but indulgent 43% Fussy and demanding 38% The Player 29% Lifestyler 27% Possessive and controlling 23% Humiliatrix 10% Cold and distant 9% Extremely sadistic, twisted and pitiless 2% Female supremacist 0% Which kind of Domme are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Untitled Poem

It is only a cage when it echoes the mind,
forced and controlled with all hope left behind.
What is a cage but a defined space, a place
with boundaries that cannot be crossed.
In hypnotic trance, imprisonment brings
more and more submissive entrapment.
The physical aspect reinforces the mental.
Weakness becomes ingrained and central
to action and need. Nature becomes more animal
and dependence becomes more complete.
In slavery, the cage is divorced from sensuality.
It is all about power and control.
The one who is let out is not released.
The cage still contains his soul.

(c) 2006, by william the submissive poet

Caged

(Story moved to Femdom Fantasies).

Terrific Tush Tuesday

"Does it really matter what these affectionate people do— so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!" - Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Personality Testing

(Famous Idealists - The Teachers)

About a year ago I took a Jung Typology Test so I thought I would take it again tonight. It would seem that I am an ENFJ (at least today I am... I think if I remember correctly from my college days, I scored a bit differently then. That makes sense as I was quite a different person then.)

• E - Extraverted (89 - a very high score here - I'm sure that will surprise no one who knows me)
• N - Intuitive - 38
• F - Feeling (62 - a high score here - again, not a big surprise)
• J - Judging - 33

What do my overall scores say about me?

• http://keirsey.com/personality/nfej.html
• http://typelogic.com/enfj.html

"Directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations." (Fits a Domme, wouldn't you say?)

"Even as children may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so." (Reflective of my more persuasive rather than dictatorial dominance style..?)"

"Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare." (I wouldn't say rare - I'm just picky about who gets close to me. Intense? yes.. I'm a very passionate person so that adds an intensity to most of the things I do.)

For an explanation of the personality testing scores from the Jung typology test, see http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm

So... what about you? If you have a blog, why not take the test and share your scores? If you don't, feel free to post yours here.

Venus, Mars, and Sexiness

Lately I've been thinking about the various men I know. I'm quite close to several and if I must say so, they're a very sexy lot - I mean really sexy. Even though they all have their own distinct personalities and looks, they all have a few things in common. They're intelligent, funny, considerate, strong minded, hard working, do the right things sort of guys. They're also kinky, although some are far kinkier than others. Sexually adventurous I guess you would say. Age and looks don't seem to be a common factor. A couple are several years younger than me, a couple right around my age, and three or four are as much as 10-15 years older than I. Totally toned, a couple of big handsome guys, and some just in between. To me, they're all handsome but I'm not sure it's always that conventional handsome. They just have that something about them...

So I was wondering, what says sexy to you? Are men and women really that different about what we consider to be sexy? I think it might depend on the age of the man and the woman. I'm in my mid-40s now and I think I've learned in the last 10 years or so to see "sexy" in a different light. I think our appreciation of others changes as we mature and that may be why "sexy" appears a bit differently than it did when we were 20. Lots to think about, anyway. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Oh, and the eye candy in the photos is nice, but to me, what's really sexy can't be captured by a camera.

He Says He'll Do Anything....

When we speak of our intimate times, Rook often professes he'll do whatever I wish except for those very few things that are hard limits for both of us. In spite of his assurances, when I broach trying something new I sometimes find myself wondering how he'll react. Thus far, he's never disappointed me. Well, ok, I admit last night he was teasing me and laughing about my fantasy of me putting him in a cage - he mentioned something about lock picks and planned escape routes ;) In the end, all teasing aside, he confessed that should I ever really choose to pursue this particular fantasy, he'd at least give it an honest effort.

So after that conversation I'm back this morning to the comment "I'll do whatever you wish, my Mistress. All you have to do is ask" floating around in my mind. I've been doing a little shopping and Baby, I think I've found something to test your resolve ;) Let's do a New Year's Eve party and this can be your uniform! Imagine how confused the drunks will be...

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

You wrote:

"It seems that some bloggers are just not wired for alternative lifestyle FemDom activities, though they attempt to create the opposite image. They eventually tire of writing frequently, and with feeling, about topics that are clearly foreign to their true nature, and seem to intersperse more negativism as their lack of experience with the subject matter becomes more evident." - Saratoga

Even though he was directly referring to "Sue Wears the Pants" this is an apt description for you also. Anyone with any understanding of female dominance realizes the FemDom concept is totally foreign to you because you're really submissive. To your credit you seem to be deluded into believing you are Domme instead of being a complete fabricator. You've run out of your warped drivel to spout so you post inane things like these stupid song lyrics. You don't write with any regularity or depth and it's obvious there isn't anything in your "FemDom" life worth writing about.

It's difficult to know what to say in response to someone like you, Dear Anonymous. Someone with such obviously superior intelligence, reasoning, and Femdom experience. I'm truly in awe. Thank you, thank you for pointing out my flaws and shortcomings as a blogger and as a Domme. Do you... oh please say you do... do you conduct any sort of FemDom blogger training courses? I'm sure I could learn so much from such a brave and esteemed man. We all could! Really! I am so in awe of you that I'm almost speechless. There's something just on the tip of my tongue that I so want to say to you, but... oh drat - it's there but I can't quite think of it.

Oh yes! There it is!

Dear Anonymous - dear, sweet Anonymous... this girl would love to ask if you would kindly, ever so kindly - please go self-fornicate?

Wait - Was Yesterday Terrific Tush Tuesday??

"Hypnotic" - lyrics and music by Craig David

Hmmm n no no no hey yeah no oh hey no no yeah girl

I stepped into the club
Clocked this fly girl shakin her stuff now
Lookin' so hot I could help but say yeah
Moves to make a bother wanna go there
I'm talking unbelievable
Never seen a girl quite like this before now
Trying to figure out what I gotta do
To get the chance to spend a moment with you

Cos girl you're looking so damn fly tonight
And I know I'd like to take it there alright
What you've gots breaking all of the rules
So keep doing what you're doing ooh baby

She's so hypnotic, the way she moves on the floor she's got it
The way she making me feel I shouldn't want it but his girl she's so sexy
So hypnotic got every girl up in this club trying to top it
But that don't mean that this girl is gon stop it
Oh no she's so sexy

No time for drinks at the bar even though she's got me so hot at the risk of
Losing it all, I
Don't want to be the one the fool to let her go
Think it's about time that I dropped my my cool and let her know that
She's sensational got me watchin every move and got me begging for more well
Holding back it nearly drove me crazy that's when I slid up and said girl excuse me

Mmm you're looking so damn fly tonight
Your body gives me butterflies inside
I'd really like to talk to you
So keep doin what you're doing
Ooh baby

She's so hypnotic, the way she moves on the floor she's got it
The way she making me feel I shouldn't want it but his girl she's so sexy
So hypnotic got every girl up in this club trying to top it
But that don't mean that this girl is gon stop it
Oh no she's so sexy

Thought I'd seen everything in the world
But that all changed for me tonight
From the moment I looked in your eyes girl (ooh you blew my mind)
I know it's crazy but don't get me wrong
I just gotta have you in my life girl
Your vibe's just so hypnotic?

Oh baby woo woo woo woo oh yeah
So hypnotic, the way she moves on the floor she's got it
The way she making me feel I shouldn't want it but his girl she's so sexy
So hypnotic got every girl up in this club trying to top it
But that don't mean that this girl is gon stop it
Oh no she's so sexy [repeat]

Untitled Poem

A faded memory rushes back to me

Of beauty, devotion, and surrender

How had I forgotten something this sublime?

Was it Her wish that I did? Or was it disobedience that stole the thought

To taunt me late with might-have-beens and endless possibilities

That wander just beyond my grasp

Her lips a cool remembrance

Redemption...benediction....peace

How lucky I was to have shared in Her pleasure

How sad to be lost again without Her mind.

- chris

Maintaining Perspective

(I can't remember where I found this photo so if I lifted it from your blog or site, I'm sorry for not crediting you. I just loved it!)

Recently I received the following email from a man who had joined my YahooGroup and downloaded at least some of my MP3s. I attempted to ask his permission to quote him but his return email account is closed. To protect his privacy I've removed anything that I believe could identify him so that his words could be heard.

"I was just getting more and more interested in erotic hypnosis, and have only recently begun to listen to files. However, I noticed that they took up so much of my time, and get me into a different reality.

Though this is interesting to explore, I also know that it can be dangerously seductive. And since my girlfriend is away for a longer time, I cannot allow myself this to happen now. Just after i read some of your ethics txt files on your site, i decided to delete my account, delete all MP3's and wait for exploration till the two of us are together again.

Since you are concerned and ethical about this subject, I do feel that you might like hearing this. Thus without knowing you, I am very grateful, since you might have just saved a lot of nasty things from happening. "

I completely understand and applaud this man's respect for his girlfriend and for himself. Exploring hypnotic D/s is almost indescribably exciting but it should never be allowed to interfere with one's life or with one's relationships. Since this is an issue for him, he should indeed wait for the direction of his Mistress. When they're together, perhaps she can use the MP3s and/or hypnosis as a tool.

When considering the use of any hypnotic D/s MP3s or sessions, listen and explore reasonably. If you:

• are listening for hours a day
• find you're becoming consumed with thoughts of the hypnotist/Domme
• are consumed with reading about hypno D/s online
• find you're spending money you can't afford in order to buy MP3s or 1:1 sessions from someone
• find that your relationships are suffering
• find you're neglecting your responsibilities

then things have gone too far. Some initial excitement and enthusiasm isn't unexpected but things should quickly settle into a reasonable quantity of time and effort being expended in this area.

Lady Julia Goes Christmas Shopping

It has been a while since I have guest written on Lady Julia's blog. After reading her entry from earlier today and then accompanying her shopping, I felt I was the one best qualified to tell this tale.

Before I begin I must disagree with some of her earlier statements. Lady Julia as always has been too modest regarding her appearance. She's a very attractive woman with gorgeous hair, eyes that one could get lost in, and full lips that a man can easily imagine kissing for a very long time. Even more appealing than her appearance is her personality. She's mesmerizing with everyone, child and adult.

Most of her shopping of today transpired at the book store. She's fond of reading and she loves encouraging that same appreciation in her nieces and nephews. When we arrived, we saw several acquaintances in the book store coffee shop so we stopped to say hello. As usual we were soon entangled in conversational topics ranging from politics to cooking to the best in children's authors. Lady Julia was of course the one guilty of steering the conversation to children's literature. One gentlemen present was an elementary school teacher and I watched as she smiled up at him, rested her hand on his forearm, and remarked that she was so glad he was there to offer his expert advice on books for the boys. Snap! He was up like a jackrabbit heading back to the children's section to search for a variety of treasures to bring to the coffee shop to show her. She was so delighted with his selections and so "pleased" by his efforts that another gentleman, a retired man with three granddaughters, allowed that he was sure he could match his younger friend's efforts and offer suggestions for the nieces. It was difficult for me not to grin because I have been in that situation so many times.

After she finished selecting her treasures, we headed to the counter to check out. She paid, smiling and chatting with the weary clerk who after a few moments of brief banter was leaning forward and telling her confidentially about an upcoming sale in which she would be able to save several dollars on some of her selections. Even though it would create more work, he offered to allow her to return them now and repurchase them later at a less expensive price. She smilingly declined but promised to consult him in a few days about some "special" books she wanted to order. She remarked later that this gentleman was one who had assisted her in the past in ordering some books of a more kinky nature than those found in our local store. She leaned forward, winked, and whisperingly thanked him for being such a good boy.

It wasn't until we were in the car and on the way to another store that I realized *I* had carried the books to the counter and also to the car without her even asking. There was never any assumption on her part that it would be any different. She'd accomplished the majority of her shopping with men obliviously doing all of the work and very happily doing so.

Bill

Christmas Charisma

I'm not a woman who likes to shop. Yes, I know - take away my female card!! Still, there are times, like today, when shopping is unavoidable. If I put this off any longer, I'm going to have five very disappointed nieces and nephews.

To make this experience more bearable I thought I'd consciously try to conduct a little experiment. I want to see how many times I can persuade a man to carry my packages to the car without my directly asking, how often I can get a male clerk to find exactly what I want instead of me searching for it forever, and how often I can get grumpy sales clerks to smile and be more pleasant when they are waiting on me. These might seem like small things, but today is projected to be one of the busiest shopping days of the year and people are not nearly as helpful during those times.

I realize this might not seem much of a challenge. Persuading men to do things is pretty easy for a drop-dead beautiful woman - just smile and men fall all over themselves doing things for you. However, I'm not what most would call a beautiful woman. I'm average in looks. That's not lack of self-confidence, it's just being honest. I've my positive qualities, but you follow my point I'm sure.

Happily, there's much more to beauty than strictly outward beauty. There's charisma - that magical something Dommes and those skilled in hypnosis seem to possess in abundance. So... we'll see what happens today. Will it be a grueling day of shopping or a day filled with persuading men to do exactly as I wish? ;) I'll be sure and let you know.

Perksniffian Prigs

From today's Merriam-Webster's word of the day:

"Pecksniffian \pek-SNIFF-ee-un\ adjective

: unctuously hypocritical : sanctimonious

Example sentence:

"His book suffers from excessively long harangues against Pecksniffian prigs and temperance types who, he claims, are still trying to ruin our fun." (Mark D. Fefer, Seattle Weekly, January 22, 2003)

Did you know?

Seth Pecksniff, a character with a holier-than-thou attitude in Charles Dickens's 1844 novel Martin Chuzzlewit, was no angel, though he certainly tried to pass himself off as one. Pecksniff liked to preach morality and brag about his own virtue, but in reality he was a deceptive rascal who would use any means to advance his own selfish interests. It didn't take long for Pecksniff's reputation for canting sanctimoniousness to leave its mark on English; "Pecksniffian" has been used as a synonym of "hypocritical" since 1849.

*Indicates the sense illustrated in the example sentence. "

I'd comment here, but there's no need. The ones who would see the humor here already "get" it :)

Rope Bondage

Bondage has long fascinated and excited me. While I've had a great deal of experience with many forms and have at times used rope, I've never used any intricate rope bondage like Japanese Rope Bondage. When I've heard of it's use, it's always been with female submissives. I wonder, have any of you any experience with this beautiful art form as a male submissive or a Female dominant?

Farewell Suewearsthepants

I received an email this morning from Susan of Suewearsthepants. She's decided to remove her blog completely. While I respect her decision, I will really miss reading her delightful words.

Sue, I tried responding to your email but the account was already terminated. I wanted to say thank you for allowing me (and others) a glimpse inside an obviously loving and happy marriage. Many days you made me smile and often laugh out loud and for that, I am also grateful.

Bless you both and may you continue to have a long, loving, happy lives.

Transformation

In the life that unfolds,
in the hand that strokes my pleasure,
in the voice that controls my doom,
there lies the violence
in which I am consumed.

Turn my thoughts to maelstrom
and then set them free
so that no capacity for consciousness
remains with me.
I am whatever You might wish me to be.

I offer my soul and my dreams
for You to change hypnotically
so they might amuse and make You smile.
You already own my desire.
Do whatever Your whims require.

As You create my arousal
and make of me a thing of need,
I have enough left
to worship You in act and deed.
I bow to kiss what You discard.

Dark Lady of my surrender,
force me deeper and deeper under
Your spell. When I am free, I am in hell.
Let Your words become
my bondage for all eternity.

- (c) 2006, william the submissive poet

Terrific Tush Tuesday On Wednesday

I don't think I've posted this one before. (Note to self - must develop a system - smiles).

Wouldn't he be yummy for under the tree?

There will be more about my weekend as soon as I have time to write, I promise. For now, let's talk about Christmas. If you could orchestrate exactly how your Christmas Eve this year will be, what would happen? Don't be shy about being self-indulgent or creative. Realistic or fanciful. I want to hear ;)