More on Comments
There's been a bit of a buzz in the FemDom blog realm lately regarding comments. Should this function be allowed, should remarks be "censored", who has the "right" to comment on someone's blog?
Even though I really appreciate having the opportunity to tell someone when their words have moved me either emotionally or intellectually, I can't say I blame anyone for disallowing the comments feature or for deleting comments that are rude or antagonistic. No matter what we say or how enlightened we are, words can sometimes hurt. It doesn't matter if these comments are posted for everyone to see or if the blog owner is the only one to view them. It took me several tearful moments in my early blog days before I reached the place where things like this didn't hurt me. Until I developed an online presence, no one had ever really talked to me as an adult in a disrespectful or hurtful manner and it took a bit to develop a healthy way to deal with this poison.
It helped me to recognize a few of the more common motives. There are many out there who believe they can blithely say whatever they wish and feel totally righteous in doing so because they are exercising their "free speech rights". They don't care about the opinions or feelings of others because it's their "right" to behave as they do. Still others never moved past that emotional age in which little boys with crushes hit the little girls who were the objects of their devotion. Some simply have the self-esteem the size of a pea and wear this mask of an ego the size of Texas. You can easily recognize them - they're the ones that use big words for the sake of using big words and mock or attack anyone who dares to hold a different opinion.
Speaking of "free speech", I'd just like to add that I believe none of us are obligated to provide someone a forum to express themselves. I've read criticism this week of one particular blogger because she doesn't always post comments that disagree with her opinions. While I choose not to do this for several reasons, I do not think less of her for doing so nor do I think it's logical to say it devalues her opinions. It's her "house" and she has the right to do whatever she wishes there. Don't we all make the decisions about what happens on our blogs? Besides, if I disagree with her or anyone else, I can always generate a post on my own blog.
(By the way, for those who have left comments in the past few days, I'll respond later today or tomorrow. I'm going shopping now - that fun kind of shopping where I buy sexy/kinky things!)
posted by Lady Julia @ 1:25 PM
6 Comments
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6 Comments:
I believe none of us are obligated to provide someone a forum to express themselves.
I have mixed feelings about that. While I do agree with you - after all, they are our blogs, we set them up and take the time to post our thoughts - I also think that allowing responsible opposing viewpoints can keep our own psyches from becoming stale by compelling us to address logical or philosophical flaws in our thinking.
Note, of course, that the key word is "responsible". A comment like "u suk, y dont u rite more storeys in sted of ur thouts? nobody wants 2 here ur thoghts we cum hear for the p0rn storys" deserves to ...
Hey wait - I just had an idea! We could set up a blog, similar to the "Overheard in..." blogs, in which we could display the weird, stupid, or just creepy comments and emails that the blogs generate. We could even rate them for content, clarity, spelling and grammar.
Tom Allen
The Edge of Vanilla
Dear Lady Julia,
Sometimes I reply in anger and frustration without reviewing what I have written before posting. I don't think I have ever written a nasty thing to you but if I have may I apologise for myself and on behalf ofthe other brutes.
Nigel Morley
"You can easily recognize them - they're the ones that use big words for the sake of using big words and mock or attack anyone who dares to hold a different opinion."
Do you believe people ever see themselves in remarks like this? I wonder how much insight people have into their own personality flaws.
Yes, restricting disagreeable comments is a blogger's right but it does seem to say something positive about the individual when they are not afraid to allow a different point of view to be expressed.
Hope you were able to see your shooting stars.
Tom, I certainly am interested in hearing the ideas of others. Not only am I curious about the thoughts and experiences of my readers and other bloggers, but I find I often learn from what they've said. I have not chosen to restrict comments on my blog for just that reason.
However, I do not think negatively of those who don't publish all comments. Some who share their thoughts are writing more for the pleasure of expressing themselves. Perhaps they solicit insight/opinions from people they know rather than anonymous figures online. Newspaper journalists, authors of magazine articles, and many other writers offer their opinions in a one way form of commuication. They receive input from editors, etc - but their readers seldom have the ability to communicate disagreement directly with them. (I assume that few well known writers read their "fan" mail.)
In my mind, this lack of 2 way communication with readers doesn't devalue the opinions/knowledge of the authors nor does it mean they've closed themselves off to differing ideas.
Nigel you've never been anything but sweet to me. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Thomas,
Yes, I believe deep down people see themselves in comments such as the one you quoted. Whether or not they admit this acknowledgment to themselves or anyone else is another story altogether.
"Yes, restricting disagreeable comments is a blogger's right but it does seem to say something positive about the individual when they are not afraid to allow a different point of view to be expressed."
I don't necessarily see this as fear. Some people simply prefer to know the people with whom they disagree :) That's not my preference, but I can respect that there are many people for whom it is.
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