Relax Those Sphincter Muscles
Seriously uptight, judgmental people really amuse me. Seriously uptight, judgmental people in the D/s world are the funniest of all. Initially. Then I begin to see the damage they do to the self-esteem of others who believe they once again have not lived up to society's expectations of them - first vanilla society and then D/s society. "If you're not X then your submission, your dominance isn't true or it isn't deep enough." Pfft.
Don't let your submissive or dominant self-image be damaged by those whose mask of arrogance covers a very insecure person. If you're happy and your partner is happy, that's true enough and deep enough for the two of you. That's all that matters.
posted by Lady Julia @ 1:15 PM
10 Comments
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10 Comments:
You are 100 percent correct. Maybe you should move away from a FemDom label not because you are not a FemDom but because by doing so you are associated with unreasonable people like that.
I am always amazed when individuals in a group that is often judged harshly by mainstream society turns right around and excecutes harsh judgement on those whose ideas are just a little bit different.
DearLady Julia,
Thank you for those very encouraging words. It is unfortunate that people try to establish a pecking order for lifestyles.
I hope you are well.
For a time I couldn't write Femdom without putting the word within quotes (I like Woman Worship best).
But when I wanted to create a couple of sites that I hoped would help people I realized that if I wanted to reach them Femdom would be the word they were most likely to be searching for.
Condemnation of others who aren't like us is as old as time. People who do this are no different than radically religious people yet they eagerly denounce those types as well.
People like this feel they are superior intellectually to others when nothing could be farther from the truth. Intelligence is the ability to think and reason. One cannot reasong with the mind firmly shut. People like this will deny that they are closeminded. "I have given this much thought and since *all my friends* think this way then we must all be right." I have two words for them for that line of thinking. GRAPE KOOL-AID.
Very astute, as usual, Lady Julia. I am so happy that You have created such great resources for the Lifestyle.
My best,
Aradia
jake, I really don't like labels either, but like Richard I recognize that people do google the FemDom term.
I'd like to add that that most people I've met in the D/s BDSM lifestyle are not like these few online who try to condemn or judge others as inferior to them.
I know some REALLY kinky people and they're very accepting of people who do not share their kinks. Of course I am accepting of theirs as well. One cannot expect tolerance from others without being willing to be tolerant themselves.
Candace, thank you for your concern. Things seem to be settling down a little here and planning on getting out this weekend and enjoying the autumn.
Aradia, Lunar, Richard, and Colin, thanks for taking the time to comment. It seems we mostly agree on this, but I want you to know I respect your opinions and could accept your comments even if we disagreed. It's all about our attitudes when we disagree, isn't it?
is it wrong to judge the judgemental? :P
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