Strength and Weakness
In response to my post on The Perfect Domme, Brett commented, "You seem to be rationalizing because YOU are so imperfect. If your sub will submit to a woman like that more power to him. The rest of us want one who isn't weak." I certainly didn't take his remarks to heart and I'm sure my fella would just laugh. He did open the door for me to ask him (and you), how would you define strength and weakness in a Domme or in the wife in a LFA relationship?
posted by Lady Julia @ 11:07 PM
6 Comments
Links to this post
6 Comments:
Strength and weakness are independent of Dominant and Submissive. Likewise, perfect and imperfect are also independent. There are 8 possible combinations of these. Then there is loving, a fourth axis.
Everyone has flaws. Everyone falls short of the ideal, whatever that may be. The whole point of ideals is that they are by definition unattainable, only approachable.
Even the strongest person in the entire world can be overwhelmed sometimes. This is not a sign of weakness.
Seeking assistance in these situations is a sign of strength in itself.
Strength includes knowing when one's limits have been reached. Strength is knowing when it is time to rest. Strength is having sound judgement.
Strength is knowing when to push and how much. Strength is knowing when an all out effort is appropriate and when it is not.
Strength is knowing when to listen to others and when to not.
Finally, sometimes strength can only be evaluated by someone who has all the pertinent information.
Dear Lady Julia,
i really enjoyed what Lunar wrote and couldn't agree more.
Another thought i had is that when some people grow up very early with psychological abuse, they are likely to bond to it emotionally. Such treatment may redefine the meanings of "love" and "strength" as something more along the lines of distance and rudeness.
So if a Domme is very powerful, yet kind, honest and real as You have been, perhaps the fantasy for that person is interrupted.
But to me kindness, transparency, the willingness to be honest to the point of vulnerability -- these all emanate directly from core strength.
To reveal the realities of what it is to be a Domme AND to be human in a real life context (a loving and committed D/s relationship) - this is quite special and extraordinary - especially since it was done while not feeling well.
It's often what W/we do despite O/our circumstances that best defines U/us.
And i think it is quite the sad mistake to misjudge and to underestimate You.
:)
robert
For me, and this goes for anyone, strength is shown in being who you are no matter who that happens to be at the moment. We're talking character here. Imagine if your mom were sick... does she stop being your mom?
When a dom/me chooses and a sub submits back, until it's decided otherwise, that's the way it is. No one ceases to be something just because they are grumpy, sick, tired, depressed, or sad. Maybe you don't wanna be around them at those particular times, but it doesn't change what is.
my $.02
To me a strong woman is someone who can get a man to submit in good times and in bad. She makes certain his needs are taken care of and she trains him to be a better submissive. She doesn't allow his fetishes to overshadow the submission.
Loved your comments everyone. You're such thoughtful, articulate people.
I have no problem with someone who wants and needs a different style of dominance than mine. I would just like to think that we can all accept that some ways work well for some and others work for others.
Strength is the ability to determine what is important, decide what you wish to do about that, and to pursue the course you have chosen.
Ability and circumstance might determine the outcome, but those three very internal actions are independent of anything but the strength of the individual. This definition works just as well for subs as Dom/mes.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home