More on Trust

(photo by netbuilder4194)

In response to my post on "The Compliment of Trust", Lady H wrote:

Lady Julia- Great topic. I agree that trust is an incredible gift. For me it is a type of validation. I work really hard to live my life in an honest and honorable way and it feels really good when someone else recognizes that and, more importantly, acts on it. But I was wondering if you got the opposite effect too. When you've known someone for a really long time and they still treat you almost like a criminal, yet you know it's really their own issues of mistrust toward females and paranoia, do you still experience it like a slap-in-the-face sort of insult? I experienced that situation in the past and at first I tried to be very understanding about his issues, but eventually, I took it very personally and found it created a whole lot of resentment on my part. Lady H.

I really can't say how I would respond to this because it's not something I've ever had to deal with in a long time friend or relationship partner. It is, however, something that happened to me recently with someone I had just met. At first, I was pretty offended, but we continued talking and thankfully worked things out. I realized this was a problem that he had to resolve from past issues and weren't really a personal reflection on me. It would have been much harder to accept if he had known me for some time.

I'm not sure what to say about someone who thinks ill of you after actually knowing you for some time except that if I wasn't already in a relationship with this person, I wouldn't allow it to go farther and if I was in a relationship, we'd be heading straight to counseling if we couldn't work it out between us. As you've said on your blog, trust is absolutely key to a successful relationship - D/s or otherwise.