Maybe I'm Clueless
I think that I am totally clueless when it comes to Loving Female Authority relationships because a lot of what I am reading out there on blogs seems to infer that men are expected to accept direction from their wives regardless of their feelings and needs. For example, several are discussing cuckolding, how they very much do not want this to happen in their relationships, yet how they know that it may happen anyway should their wives choose to proceed in that direction. Does participation in a LFA mean abandoning all limits for the men involved?
Cuckolding is a very serious thing - if the husband doesn't buy into the process, it can not only damage the relationship beyond repair, but it can do some very serious damage to his self-esteem. It seems from the things I'm reading, men feel they must accept this no matter what if this is what their wives decide. I have to ask myself why is this? Does LFA mean that the men have no ability to set hard limits to the relationship? That's a really scary place to be if the Lady doesn't consider the man's needs as important and act accordingly.
Another thought - if a wife decided that she and her husband should do something really far out there in the SM realm, would there be simple acquiesence to this as well? If she decided she was really into daily severe beatings and locking him in a cage even though he truly wanted nothing whatsoever to do with this, would this become a part of their relationship dynamic?
As a loving Domme, I have a responsibility to know my submissive's needs and limits. I cannot be so selfish in this relationship that I do not take care of him. Does that mean that today's limits and needs will be next month's limits and needs? Maybe, maybe not. Some limits are hard, others soft. The soft limits, I am well within my rights to explore and push a bit. Smiles - I can be very persuasive. Hard limits, as long as they remain hard, are places I don't go. We might discuss them, but only in a situation in which he knows I respect his feelings and he can be totally open and honest. Perhaps someday, those must-not-cross boundaries may not be so iron clad. Then and only then would I be within my right to proceed.
In the D/s world, relationships are built upon the safe, sane, and consensual foundation. This doesn't mean he directs what happens between us, but he is involved in setting some very basic parameters. It also means that I'm responsible for keeping things safe - physically and emotionally.
I always want to make certain that I don't get so overtaken by the rush of the power exchange that I forget the "loving" component is still the primary key to keeping my relationship healthy.