The Compliment of Trust
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” - George McDonaldA few weeks ago, I gave my fella a task that required a great deal of trust. I'd given him a gift - the perfect kind of gift, really, because it was really a gift for me ;) Suffice it to say it was a something that was very intimate and symbolized my control over him in a very... palpable.. manner. At any rate, his task was to take some photos demonstrating his use of that gift. He doesn't have a digital camera and I'm pretty sure he wasn't interested in snapping some candid photos to take to the local film shop for development (can you imagine?? - laughs), so he used his web cam. Bless his heart - he spent quite a bit of time the next day trying to get a few photos that would please me and please me they did ;)
Far more important than those delicious photos, however, was his eagerness to embrace the task, his devotion and determination to do a perfect job, and his implicit trust in me by offering them to me without reservation. All just for me ... just because I asked. What a delightful feeling of control from that one task. It was also very interesting to see how completing this task effected him. To be sure, he found the experience to be very exciting, but the truly arousing aspect for him was the completion of such a task in response to a very (deliberately) casual request from me. Whenever I give him tasks that really demonstate to him just how much control I have, he seems to feel even a greater desire to submit and please. It's really a very delicious loop that is totally and completely a win/win situation.
I hadn't mentioned this to anyone because frankly, I generally feel what we do together in private is private. But.. the other day, I was perusing the news sites and I read an article about a state trooper who had published nude photos of his ex-wife on the internet along with an ad soliciting violent sex. Wow, can you imagine such a violation of trust? Reading this, and knowing what a cautious man my fella is - especially when it comes to his professional reputation - it really hit home what a precious gift his trust really is and how much responsibility I have to respect and honor that trust.
I just wanted to thank him here for the wonderful compliment.
posted by Lady Julia @ 8:18 PM
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Lady Julia-
Great topic. I agree that trust is an incredible gift. For me it is a type of validation. I work really hard to live my life in an honest and honorable way and it feels really good when someone else recognizes that and, more importantly, acts on it. But I was wondering if you got the opposite effect too.
When you've known someone for a really long time and they still treat you almost like a criminal, yet you know it's really their own issues of mistrust toward females and paranoia, do you still experience it like a slap-in-the-face sort of insult? I experienced that situation in the past and at first I tried to be very understanding about his issues, but eventually, I took it very personally and found it created a whole lot of resentment on my part.
Lady H.
I like reading stories about what you do with your "fella". So many of us would love to be him!
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