HOW TO MEET A DOMME - PREPARING YOURSELF

August 22, 2005

A while back, I shared some suggestions for those interested in meeting Dommes through the use of personals ads.  While this concept has worked splendidly for Stuart (smiles - I'm very happy for you Stuart), some are not inclined to meet a Domme in this manner and prefer online communication.  Chat rooms and online discussion groups offer a forum to meet those who may be interested in what you have to offer as a submissive. 

Where can I chat?  IRC offers several different options.   There are D/s chat rooms on EFnet, Bondage.com, and Undernet.  In addition to message board discussion and personal ads, there are several hypnosis chat rooms available Bondage.com.   Yahoo offers a variety of hypnosis, D/s, and BDSM discussion groups.  I'm not recommending any in particular - just pointing you in the right direction to explore.

How can I prepare myself to meet a Domme?  I'm glad you asked!  (smiles)  As you no doubt realize, there are many, many more male submissives than there are Dommes, especially HypnoDommes.   If you're prepared, the odds are much greater that she'll be impressed with you when you do meet.

What are the basics?

• Complete your profile.  Consider it like a resume and put your best foot forward. Remember, you want to stand out in a crowd.  There's always something interesting about everyone, but if you consider yourself too run of the mill, adopt a hobby or interest that is intriguing.  (I love talking to people about current events, for example.   I also enjoy learning about interesting hobbies/professions.)
• DON'T place a nude on your profile.  If we want to see your anatomy, I promise - we'll let you know.
• Begin to examine what you have to offer a Domme.  Are you intelligent?  Creative?  What are your strengths?  What are you willing to do for her?  Don't simply say "submit"... of course you want to submit.  So do hundreds of other guys.  Think of specifics by analyzing your talents and skills.  Everyone has things they can offer. 
  
• Consider what you need from a Domme.  Don't simply say control.  Again, she knows that.  Do you want 24/7 control?  Real life interaction, online only?  What are your limits?  What turns you on?  What are your weaknesses?
  
• Give the Domme a chance to get to know you before you ask to speak with her.  After you've watched the room for awhile, join in the chat room discussion or participate in forum discussions.  When you articulate your thoughts for others, they are able to catch a glimpse of the person you are. 
  
• Don't PM without asking permission in the chat room first.  I know you're thinking, "but I prefer to talk in private".  So do 100 other submissives.  I just close the PM windows most of the time because honestly... there are so many they pop open like annoying little flies.  Almost every Domme I've ever spoken to feels the same way. 
  
• Develop a sense of humor.  It's SEXY.  I don't mean stand up comedian funny, but know how to laugh.
• Work to develop friendships first.  I consider this essential to forming any type of relationship.
• Learn to like yourself if you don't already.  Arrogance - not so appealing.  Confidence - uber sexy.
  
• Be patient.  This isn't likely to happen overnight.
  

Next time.... "OK, she's agreed to talk to me - what do I say?"