DH Lawrence said, "And what's romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You Like It, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it's always daisy-time. "

Not only is romance often viewed through the eyes of flowery literature, we've also been socialized to believe that it can be purchased. Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, Birthdays... all "special" days designated for the presentation of a romantic gesture. Advertisers spend untold amounts assuring us that we can guarantee that our loved one feel special - for the bargain price of $99.99 (you fill in the actual number).

So what of romance? Is it simply a nice little myth or a commercialized venture? I don't believe so, I think (as with many things in life) we just need to readjust the labels in our minds just a bit. Tweak things, so to speak.

I enjoy the "special days" as much as anyone, but I've come to realize that the most special day- the most romantic day - is the day in which we are, the greatest gifts we can give can't be purchased, and that actions do speak louder than words. If we're honest with ourselves, most of us would admit that deep inside we have an intense desire to feel special. We want to know that someone cares so much for us and values our presence in their lives to such a degree that, on a regular basis, their actions tell us and the world how much we mean to them.

What actions speak "romance" to me? What makes me feel special?

• A determination to learn my language and to teach me his. We may come from different planets, but if we try hard enough, we can learn to understand one another.
• An active awareness of the things that interest me. He certainly doesn't have to share in all of my passions or even have a desire to participate in each one, but he is familiar with those things that are important to me and makes an attempt to share in at least some of them.
• The recognition of the value of honesty and integrity.
• The realization that valor and honor aren't really nouns - they're active verbs.
• The ability to peer past the facade, see the real me, and love me anyway.
• The steadfastness to care for me when other people would truly want to run away. When a man holds your hair away from your face while you're being sick to your stomach - that's a clear demonstration of how special you are (and how special he is).

My list certainly isn't conclusive, but in composing it, it helped reaffirm my belief. Yes, romance is alive and well and truly does exist. We just have to know where to look.