ABSOLUTE SURRENDER

by Michael - email address withheld at his request
June 6, 2005

The first image that came to my mind was of complete trust that enables one to relinquish all control knowing that he is safe – as if falling from the sky knowing that you are safe. This complete surrender of control is so counterintuitive that I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that way – but it would be nice.

It next occurred to me that absolute surrender requires more than relinquishing control. Absolute or total surrender requires complete submission of one’s selfish desires to another – placing the other’s needs above one’s own need. This is obviously a challenge, but it is the core of being a “submissive.” I think the submissive nature can be developed to a state where the submissive truly derives pleasure from pleasing – then and only then – is the submissive state truly developed. I think a true submissive has some natural ability to identify those who are Dominant (just as dogs identify an Alpha dog) and also some ability to derive pleasure from pleasing the Dominant. However, this trait has to be developed (trained) because it is counter to other aspects of human nature. To me that is what training and conditioning are all about in a D/s relationship. The submissive learns to link pleasure with obedience, submission and, most of all, pleasure of the Dominant. For men, the easiest place to begin is the erotic realm – because that’s the way we are wired. However, to fully develop the nascent submissive nature, the conditioning must move beyond the erotic realm.